Navy Yard Shooting Rampage

As I was at work on my very first day this is the news that broke. I was stunned. Needless to say in my mind  I wondered where will a individual or several people strike next? It can be anyone, anywhere. Could it be in the hospital where I work, on mass transit, and to think I just left the area where this killer stuck. I was in Baltimore, but I know exactly where this went down. There is so much madness in the world today, I pray God please let it stop. I know this news is coming a little late for me since I have been working, but please pray for the families of the deceased and the survivors.  

A defense-industry employee used his pass to get into the Washington Navy Yard and went on a deadly shooting rampage Monday, spraying bullets in the hallway and firing from a balcony on workers in an atrium below. Thirteen people were killed, including the gunman.

The motive for the assault — the deadliest shooting on a military installation in the U.S. since the tragedy at Fort Hood, Texas, in 2009 — was a mystery, investigators said.

Mayor Vincent Gray said there was no indication it was a terrorist attack, but he added that the possibility had not been ruled out.

"This is a horrific tragedy," he said.

The onslaught at a single building at the highly secure Navy Yard unfolded about 8:20 a.m. in the heart of the nation's capital, less than four miles from the White House and two miles from the Capitol.

It put all of Washington on edge and raised the specter of another well-coordinated terrorist strike — or another attack from within, like Fort Hood.

The gunman, Aaron Alexis, a 34-year-old information technology employee and former Navy reservist whose last known address was in Fort Worth, Texas, died after a running gunbattle inside the building with police, investigators said.

He carried three weapons: an AR-15 assault rifle, a shotgun, and a handgun that he took from a police officer at the scene, according to two federal law enforcement officials who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the investigation.

For much of the day, authorities said they were looking for a possible second attacker who may have been disguised in an olive-drab military-style uniform.

But by late Monday night, they said they were convinced the shooting was the work of a lone gunman, and the lockdown around the area was eased.

"We do now feel comfortable that we have the single and sole person responsible for the loss of life inside the base today," Washington Police Chief Cathy Lanier said.

President Barack Obama lamented yet another mass shooting in the U.S. that he said took the lives of American "patriots." He promised to make sure "whoever carried out this cowardly act is held responsible."

The FBI took charge of the investigation.

The attack came four years after Army psychiatrist Maj. Nidal Hasan killed 13 people at Fort Hood in what he said was an effort to save the lives of Muslims overseas. He was convicted last month and sentenced to death.

In addition to those killed at the Navy Yard, eight people were hurt, including three who were shot and wounded, according to the mayor. Those three were a police officer and two female civilians, authorities said. They were all expected to survive.

The dead ranged in age from 46 to 73, according to the mayor. A number of the victims were civilian employees and contractors, rather than active-duty military personnel, the police chief said.

At the time of the rampage, Alexis was an employee with The Experts, a company that was a Defense Department subcontractor on a Navy-Marine Corps computer project, authorities said.

Valerie Parlave, head of the FBI's field office in Washington, said Alexis had access to the Navy Yard as a defense contractor and used a valid pass.

Alexis had been a full-time Navy reservist from 2007 to early 2011, leaving as a petty officer third class, the Navy said. It did not say why he left. He had been an aviation electrician's mate with a unit in Fort Worth.

A convert to Buddhism who grew up in New York City, Alexis had had run-ins with the law over shooting incidents in 2004 and 2010 in Fort Worth and Seattle and was portrayed in police reports as seething with anger.

The Washington Navy Yard is a sprawling, 41-acre labyrinth of buildings and streets protected by armed guards and metal detectors, and employees have to show their IDs at doors and gates. More than 18,000 people work there.

The rampage took place at Building 197, the headquarters for Naval Sea Systems Command, which buys, builds and maintains ships and submarines. About 3,000 people work at headquarters, many of them civilians.

Witnesses on Monday described a gunman opening fire from a fourth-floor overlook, aiming down on people on the main floor, which includes a glass-walled cafeteria. Others said a gunman fired at them in a third-floor hallway.

Patricia Ward, a logistics-management specialist, said she was in the cafeteria getting breakfast.

"It was three gunshots straight in a row — pop, pop, pop. Three seconds later, it was pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, so it was like about a total of seven gunshots, and we just started running," Ward said.

Todd Brundidge, an executive assistant with Navy Sea Systems Command, said he and co-workers encountered a gunman in a long hallway on the third floor. The gunman was wearing all blue, he said.

"He just turned and started firing," Brundidge said.

Terrie Durham, an executive assistant with the same agency, said the gunman fired toward her and Brundidge.

"He aimed high and missed," she said. "He said nothing. As soon as I realized he was shooting, we just said, 'Get out of the building.'"

As emergency vehicles and law enforcement officers flooded the streets, a helicopter hovered, nearby schools were locked down and airplanes at Reagan National Airport were grounded so they would not interfere with law-enforcement choppers.

Security was tightened at other federal buildings. Senate officials shut down their side of the Capitol. The House remained open.

In the confusion, police said around midday that they were searching for two accomplices who may have taken part in the attack — one carrying a handgun and wearing a tan Navy-style uniform and a beret, the other armed with a long gun and wearing an olive-green uniform. Police said it was unclear if the men were members of the military.

But as the day wore, police dropped one person and then the other as suspects. As tensions eased, Navy Yard employees were gradually released from the complex, and children were let out of their locked-down schools.

Adm. Jonathan Greenert, chief of naval operations, was at the base at the time the shooting began but was moved unharmed to a nearby military installation.

Anxious relatives and friends of those who work at the complex waited to hear from loved ones.

Tech Sgt. David Reyes, who works at Andrews Air Force Base, said he was waiting to pick up his wife, Dina, who was under lockdown in a building next to where the shooting happened. She sent him a text message.

"They are under lockdown because they just don't know," Reyes said. "They have to check every building in there, and they have to check every room and just, of course, a lot of rooms and a lot of buildings."


Navy Yard shooting suspect Aaron Alexis suffered a host of mental health issues, including paranoia, a sleep disorder and hearing voices in his head.

Aaron Alexis seems a study in contradictions: a former Navy reservist, a Defense Department contractor, a convert to Buddhism who was taking an online course in aeronautics. But he also had flashes of temper that led to run-ins with police over shootings in Seattle and Fort Worth, Texas.

A profile began to emerge Monday of the man authorities identified as the gunman in a mass shooting at the Navy Yard in Washington, D.C., that left 13 people dead, including the 34-year-old man. While some neighbors and acquaintances described him as "nice," his father once told detectives in Seattle that his son had anger management problems related to post-traumatic stress brought on by the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. He also complained about the Navy and being a victim of discrimination.

FBI: Navy Yard shooter had shotgun, handguns
FBI: Navy Yard shooter had shotgun, handguns
10 hr ago 0:56 Views: 2k AP Online Video
U.S. law enforcement officials told The Associated Press that Alexis had been suffering a host of serious mental issues, including paranoia and a sleep disorder. He also had been hearing voices in his head, the officials said. Alexis had been treated since August by the Veterans Administration for his mental problems, the officials said. They spoke on condition of anonymity because the criminal investigation in the case was continuing.

The officials also said there has been no connection to international or domestic terrorism, and investigators have found no manifesto or other writings suggesting a political or religious motivation.

The Navy had not declared him mentally unfit, which would have rescinded a security clearance Alexis had from his earlier time in the Navy Reserves.

U.S. officials say Alexis had a string of misconduct problems during his nearly three years in the military, but he received an honorable discharge.

The officials say he had incidents of insubordination and disorderly conduct and was sometimes absent from work without authorization. The offenses occurred mainly when he was serving in Texas from 2008 to 2011 and were enough to prompt Navy officials to grant him an early discharge through a special program for enlisted personnel.

Officials said the bad conduct was enough to make it clear Alexis would not be a good sailor, but not enough to warrant a general or less-than-honorable discharge.

Family members told investigators that Alexis was being treated for his mental health issues.

Washington Navy Yard shooting: Link button to Washington Navy Yard shooting galleryReuters: Jason Reed
Click image to see: Washington Navy Yard shooting gallery
At the time of the shootings, he worked for The Experts, a subcontractor on an HP Enterprise Services contract to refresh equipment used on the Navy Marine Corps Intranet network.

His life over the past decade has been checkered.

Alexis lived in Seattle in 2004 and 2005, according to public documents. In 2004, Seattle police said Alexis was arrested for shooting out the tires of another man's vehicle in what he later described to detectives as an anger-fueled "blackout." According to an account on the department's website, two construction workers had parked their Honda Accord in the driveway of their worksite, next to a home where Alexis was staying. The workers reported seeing a man, later identified by police as Alexis, walk out of the home next to their worksite, pull a gun from his waistband and fire three shots into the rear tires of their Honda before he walked slowly back to his home.

When detectives interviewed workers at the construction site, they told police Alexis had stared at construction workers at the job site daily for several weeks prior to the shooting. The owner of the construction business told police he believed Alexis was angry over the parking situation around the site.

Police eventually arrested Alexis, searched his home, found a gun and ammunition in his room, and booked him into the King County Jail for malicious mischief.

According to the police account, Alexis told detectives he perceived he had been "mocked" by construction workers the morning of the incident. Alexis also claimed he had an anger-fueled "blackout," and could not remember firing his gun at the Honda until an hour after the incident.

Alexis also told police he was present during "the tragic events of Sept. 11, 2001" and described "how those events had disturbed him."

Then, on May 5, 2007, he enlisted in the Navy reserves, serving through 2011, according to Navy spokeswoman Lt. Megan Shutka.

Shutka said he received the National Defense Service Medal and the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal during his stint in the reserves. Both are medals issued to large numbers of service members who served abroad and in the United States since the 9/11 attacks. Alexis' last assignment was as aviation electricians mate 3rd class at the Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base in Fort Worth, Shutka said.

Navy yard shooting: Everything we know so far
Navy yard shooting: Everything we know so far
1 day ago 1:17 Views: 3k NowThis News
It was while he was still in the reserves that a neighbor in Fort Worth reported she had been nearly struck by a bullet shot from his downstairs apartment.

In September 2010, Fort Worth police questioned Alexis about the neighbor's report. He admitted to firing his weapon but said he was cleaning his gun when it accidentally discharged. He said he did not call the police because he didn't think the bullet went through to the other apartment. The neighbor told police she was scared of Alexis and felt he fired intentionally because he had complained about her making too much noise.

Alexis was arrested on suspicion of discharging a firearm within city limits but Tarrant County district attorney's spokeswoman Melody McDonald Lanier said the case was not pursued after it was determined the gun discharged accidentally.

After leaving the reserves, Alexis worked as a waiter and delivery driver at the Happy Bowl Thai restaurant in White Settlement, a suburb of Fort Worth, according to Afton Bradley, a former co-worker. The two overlapped for about eight months before Alexis left in May, Bradley said.

Having traveled to Thailand, Alexis learned some Thai and could speak to Thai customers in their native language.

"He was a very nice person," Bradley said in a phone interview. "It kind of blows my mind away. I wouldn't think anything bad at all."

A former acquaintance, Oui Suthametewakul, said Alexis lived with him and his wife from August 2012 to May 2013 in Fort Worth, but that they had to part ways because he wasn't paying his bills. Alexis was a "nice guy," Suthametewakul said, though he sometimes carried a gun and would frequently complain about being the victim of discrimination.

Suthametewakul said Alexis had converted to Buddhism and prayed at a local Buddhist temple.

"We are all shocked. We are nonviolent. Aaron was a very good practitioner of Buddhism. He could chant better than even some of the Thai congregants," said Ty Thairintr, a congregant at Wat Budsaya, a Buddhist temple in Fort Worth.

Thairintr said Alexis told him he was upset with the Navy because "he thought he never got a promotion because of the color of his skin. He hated his commander."

As Thairintr and others at the temple understood, Alexis took a job as a contractor and he indicated to them he was going to go to Virginia. He last saw him five weeks ago.

"He was a very devoted Buddhist. There was no tell-tale sign of this behavior," Thairintr said.

In the early 2000s, before he moved to Seattle, Alexis lived with his mother in an apartment in Queens, N.Y., said Gene Demby, of Philadelphia, who said he dated one of Alexis' younger sisters at the time. He said Alexis and his two younger sisters had a difficult relationship with their father, who divorced their mother in the mid-1990s.

"I wouldn't call him nice, but he seemed harmless, if really awkward," said Demby, the lead writer for NPR's Code Switch blog about race and culture. "He was insecure. He was like a barbershop conspiracy theorist, the kind of guy who believes he's smarter than everyone else. He also was kind of like perpetually aggrieved, but not megalomaniacal or delusional."

Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, which offers online courses in aviation and aerospace, confirmed that Alexis was enrolled as an online student via its Fort Worth campus, started classes in July 2012 and was pursuing a bachelor's of science in aeronautics.

Blue - If You Come Back Lyrics

for all this time 

i've been lovin' you girl, oh yeas i have 

ever since the day you left me here alone 

i've been trying to find oh the reason why 

so if i did something wrong please tell me, 

i want to understand 

'cause i don't want this love ever end 

chorus 

and i swear... 

if you come back in my life 

i'll be there till the end of time 

oh yeah (back to me, back to me, back into my life) 

and i swear 

i'll keep you right by my side 

'cause baby you're the one i want 

oh yes you are (back to me, back to me, back into my life) 

i watched you go 

takin' my heart with you, oh yes you did 

every time i try to reach you on the phone 

baby you're never there, girl you never home 

so if i did something wrong please tell me 

i want to understand 

'cause i don't want this love to ever end 

chorus 

maybe i didn't know how to show it 

maybe i didn't know what to say 

this time i won't disguise 

than we can build our lives and we can be as one 

chorus

Falling in Love

Falling in love maybe one of the greatest feelings ever. There is an actual chemical process that happens to a person who is falling in love. All of the senses have a greater intensity. Colors

seem brighter, sounds more resonant and smells more powerful when
you are in love. When you are with your lover there is no greater feeling in the world, and when you're not you spend all your time thinking of each other. Falling in love is truly an awesome feeling.


Whenever I'm around you,
I feel like life's complete.
I don't know what to say,
But you make my heart beat.

I'm scared to say hello,
But it hurts to say good-bye.
Whenever I'm around you,
I feel like life's complete.
I don't know what to say,
But you make my heart beat.

Why is it when I look in your eyes,I see the love burning inside me.
why is it when you hug me,
the world melts with us.

I'm not scared to love you.

I'm okay when your around.
You've given my heart a soundtrack.
I happen to like the sound.

To you I might just be a little girl,
but give me the one chance.
I could show you a whole new world.
So take my hand and let me lead this dance.
Sometimes I wonder how I feel about you,

Scared of these feelings because it’s still new
I catch myself thinking of the best way to share,
Hoping you’ll return my confession showing you

10 ways to become an optimist

While some people are born optimists, it is possible to change your mindset to start thinking more positively whatever your natural inclination. Positive thinking brings with it a whole host of benefits including improved well-being, lowered stress levels, better relationships and improved quality of life.


Create some positive mantras

While many of us believe our happiness – or lack thereof – is based on external things, we’re often the ones holding ourselves back. Many of us go through our days feeding ourselves negative messages we may not even be aware of, convincing ourselves we’re “not good enough”, “not clever enough” or “not attractive enough”. To start thinking more positively, you need to change these messages. Try to look out for negative thoughts that pop into your head and replace them with positive messages. Write down these positive mantras and repeat them on a daily basis.

Focus on your success

Most of us are happy to acknowledge other people’s successes and accomplishments; however, when it comes to our own, we frequently play them down or ignore them entirely. To start thinking more positively about yourself, you need to regularly remind yourself of what you have – and can – achieve. Stop listening to your inner critic, reflect on your past achievements, and start to really appreciate your success and what you have to offer.


Get a role model

If you want to become an optimist, it can help to find yourself a positive role model. Whether it is a colleague, close friend or even a celebrity, think of the most unflappable, cheerful person you can. For the next few weeks, do an experiment and try to take a walk in their shoes. Whenever negativity starts creeping in or you find yourself in a difficult situation, think: “what would (insert name of chosen optimist) do?” Answer honestly, then try to follow suit.


Focus on the positives

It’s important to remember that it isn't events themselves that make us unhappy, it is our interpretation and reaction to them, and while you can’t always change events, you can change your response. When negative situations occur, try to re frame them by focusing on the positives or what you can learn from the situation. Maybe you have gained inner strength and resilience, grown closer to a friend through sharing your heartbreak or learned something about yourself. Try your best to focus on what you have learned and gained from your experience rather on than what you have lost.


Don’t try to predict the future

When things don’t go right in life, optimists tend to view each incident as an isolated event, while pessimists often look out for patterns of bad luck and think “if it happened once, it’ll happen again”. However, it is important not to try to predict the future based on what has happened before. Remember that a plan or relationship failing doesn't make you a failure and just because something disappointing has happened once (or more) it doesn't mean it will happen again.


Surround yourself with Positivity

Spending time with negative people who continually see the bad in every situation is a sure-fire way to ensure you continue to feel negative too. To help you stay feeling optimistic, you need to surround yourself with positive people who help you to appreciate the good in situations and in life in general. This also applies to other influence in your life such as music, literature and movies – surround yourself with positive influences and see the effect it has on your state of mind.


Keep a gratitude diary
When something negative happens, it never fails to escape our attention. The alarm clock doesn’t go off, your toast burns, your car doesn't start... and you are in a foul mood for the rest of the day. However, how often do you stop and notice all those times your alarm clock did go off, your toast didn’t burn or your car did start? To change your focus and thinking, make a conscious effort to start reflecting on all the things that go right and that you have to be happy about by keeping a gratitude journal each morning or night, listing all the things you have to be grateful for that day.


Challenge negative thoughts
Often our negative thoughts are based on little more than our own fears, doubts and low self-esteem. To help you overcome them, you need to constantly challenge your negative thoughts. Next time you start to feel negative, write down what your feelings are then write down your arguments for and against these thoughts. Ask yourself what’s the evidence that these thoughts are true? What’s the evidence that they are not? You could even try purposely acting the opposite of how you feel and seeing what happens. You may find that your negative predictions don’t come true after all.


Focus on the solution rather than the problem
Pessimists tend to focus on problems while optimists look for solutions. While it is tempting to dwell on your problems or disappointments, remember that this will not change your situation. The situation may not feel great and it may not seem fair, but what has happened has happened, whether you like it or not. Rather than reflecting on what could have been, let go of regrets and negative thoughts, get proactive and start planning where you can go from here.


Fake it
Optimism isn't something that comes naturally to all of us, and you may find that it takes time to change your mindset. In the meantime, try putting the action before the feeling and faking a more positive outlook. Studies have found that it is possible to trick yourself into feeling happier by going through the physical motions. So, rather than going with your natural instinct, try smiling and laughing more and speaking in a more positive tone. Acting the way you want to feel will help you on your way to becoming an optimist.

How to change your life in a day

While many instantly life-changing experiences – such as meeting the love of your life or winning the lottery – may seem like a symptom of fate and not something we can control, there are many things you can do in a day to help change the course of your life forever.


Discover your passion
Fed up of drifting through your days with a lack of purpose and sense of fulfillment? Jazz up your routine by taking some time to consider what it is that would make you feel happy and fulfilled. What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning? What makes you feel really alive? Think about the activities that have made you feel this way – even if you have to reflect back to things you haven’t done since you were child – and make a plan to incorporate these into your life.

Take a first step
As stated by the Lao Tzu, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. No matter how overwhelming your ambitions may seem, you will never achieve anything unless you take that first step and get started. Whether you want to write a novel, run a marathon or learn a new language, make today a day to remember by making it the day you start pursuing your dream.


Sign up
Due to lack of time, energy or motivation, we often end up putting off our dreams and goals for “another day” which may never actually arrive. To help boost your motivation, make a commitment to doing something life-changing today, such as signing up for voluntary work abroad, entering a challenging fitness event or even signing up to an online dating site. By signing up and committing yourself in writing you will feel more obliged to go through with your plans.


Chat to someone new
Our relationships and the people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our happiness and quality of life. Therefore, it is important to take every opportunity you can to expand your circle of friends and make room for someone new. Whether they could be your new best friend, introduce you to the love of your life or become a great new career contact, you never know the impact someone could have on your life. Make today a potentially life-changing day by making time to chat to someone new – be it a colleague you have never spoken to or that friendly girl in your yoga class.


Make a decision
If you’ve been putting off a big decision for a while, make today the day you take control of your future and decide. Give yourself a deadline of the end of the day and spend some time seriously pondering your choices. Consider the implications of each outcome, weigh up the pros and cons and seek a second opinion to help you make the right decision. Then, once your deadline is up, go with your gut instinct and start planning for the path you have chosen.


Clear out the clutter
Our lives tend to be filled with clutter, both of the metaphorical and literal variety. To help make room for the positive new things in your life, try clearing out the junk that’s weighing you down. Firstly, have a spring clean of your home and get rid of all the stuff you no longer need.  Not only will this give you space for more useful things, but it can also boost your mental health. Secondly, think about all the happiness drains in your life you may need to think about getting rid of – such as unhappy relationships or an unfulfilling job. Thirdly, try decluttering your mind by starting to let go of all the negative emotions you may be harboring.


Change your mindset
To give your mind that essential spring clean, you need to make a conscious decision to let go of negative emotions such as anger or regret or any grudges you have been holding on to. It’s not easy but it’s important to remember that holding on to these will not change the past; it will only ruin your present. Maybe consider talking to a counsellor if you think this is something you will struggle with. Also, make a decision that from today onwards you will start to adopt a more positive outlook. Try creating a “happiness diary” to help you, where you jot down the positive things that have occurred each day, no matter how little they may be.


Break a bad habit
While it will take more than one day to break a bad habit, often getting started is the most difficult thing. If you’ve been promising yourself that you’re going to ditch a bad habit for a while, make today the day you take the plunge. Set yourself a specific and measurable goal and write down how you can achieve it, breaking it down into small steps. Next, think about telling somebody about your goal. Sharing your intentions can make them seem more ‘real’ and make you more motivated to see them through.


Write it down
Once you have decided on your plan of action for changing your life and made your first steps to achieving this change, it is important to write it down. Having vague plans in your head is all well and good, but getting it down on paper will help to give you a clear plan to follow and help you feel like you are already on the way to achieving something. Write down what you have down today, what you can build on going forwards and how you can ultimately bring about the life you want.


Learn to enjoy being you
One of the biggest mistakes we too often make is relying on external things to make us happy, which means putting our happiness in the hands of fate or other people. Make a life-changing decision today to take control of your happiness by learning to be happy with who you are, regardless of the situations you are in. Make a list of all the good qualities you have to offer and all the reasons you are completely loveable, then keep this list somewhere handy to look at every time you need a boost.

Can laughter therapy boost your health?

How laughter therapy could improve your lifestyle
Laughter has long been associated with happiness and emotional release, but now researchers are suggesting that watching a side-splitting film or comedy show could also do wonders for your health. With the rise of ‘laughter therapy’ classes and even laughter-inspired yoga, is it really possible that a good chuckle (or three) could boost your mental and physical health?
What is laughter therapy?

Depression may not seem like such a laughing matter, but certain therapists believe they have struck upon the perfect solution to banish society’s malaise. Pioneered by the Indian physician Dr Madan Kataria, ‘laughter therapy’ has become a surprise hit amongst those looking to beat credit crunch stress through enjoyable yet strenuous exercise.
Laughter therapy groups are a growing trend in the western world, with people seeking to banish their everyday concerns and fears through a variety of hearty chuckles, light giggles and rumbling belly-laughs. Though certainly not for the faint of heart, this form of therapy aims to promote a number of laughter-inspired health benefits. Developing group camaraderie through jokes, funny memories and, yes, chortling contests, laughter therapy is both fun and friendly, emphasizing that laughter needn't be restricted to happy moments but can even boost the mind when it’s forced.
Can laughter therapy really develop your health and fitness?

We’re not having a laugh with you here ... Studies by American researchers have found that laughter therapy is a viable form of cardiovascular (CV) exercise, powerfully working out the body’s heart and lungs in the same way that a rowing or bike machine session might. There is a growing body of evidence to suggest that laughter boasts a wide range of health and fitness benefits, aiding everything from stress relief through to blood flow. The following points describe just some of the many key areas that laughter exercise can improve.
Emotional release through laughter — If you’re the kind of person who stores up all emotion, becoming more and more anxious simply to keep a brave face, laughter could really help you release all your pent-up feelings. In the same way that primal scream therapy gets rid of inner demons, loud and lengthy laughter offers a fine way of venting your spleen. You’ll be feeling smiles better in no time!
Beating stress, fear and anger through laughter — This is no joke ... laughter really can elevate your mood away from the everyday fears and worries that make life less enjoyable. Scientists have suggested that the body can’t actually tell the difference between real and fake laughter so even if you’re feeling down in the dumps, a strenuous fake chuckle could still trigger happiness hormones in your brain.
Burning calories through laughter — As well as relieving stress and cooped-up emotions, laughter therapy offers an even better physical punch-line. By working out a number of key muscles, a hearty belly-laugh can really cut down your calories. Some studies have indicated that a strenuous, one-minute laugh could burn as many calories as 10 minutes spent on a rowing or bike machine. What a wheeze, eh?
Boosting blood flow through laughter — Studies have found that laughing exercise can raise the flow of blood in the body by as much as 22 per cent, as the heart and lungs work harder to supply oxygen to key muscles. As well as boosting blood flow, relaxed arteries also help regulate blood pressure at normal levels. So why not give laughter therapy a try? You’ll soon feel a ho-ho-whole lot better!
Boosting the immune system through laughter — Even if you’re immune to the concept of smiling, you certainly won’t be when it comes to preventing certain illnesses. Thankfully though, help is at hand ... if you’re just willing to lighten up a bit! A quick dose of laughter could seriously boost the immune system of even the most purse-lipped prude. Research has found that the body’s level of killer cells — essential in attacking viruses and cancers —are significantly increased after a laughing session. In contrast, these killer cells are reduced during lengthy periods of stress. So if you want to stay healthy and free of disease, it might be time you enjoyed a good laugh ...
Whilst it may not be for everyone, laughter therapy has clearly helped a number of people to combat mental and physical pressures through heart-warming and expressive chuckling. Even if you don’t fancy bursting into giggles amongst a group of strangers, it’s just as easy to enjoy laughter therapy at home, simply by watching a funny film or TV show. So don’t be a clown... why not try laughter therapy today? You’ll be a laughing stock if you don’t!

How to Lose Her in One Week

Once you overcome a few nerves, getting past the first date hurdle isn't too hard – it's maintaining a constant attraction and moving into the relationship zone afterwards that many guys find that they start to lose the girl. What are you doing wrong?

Be predictable

If you really like someone, chances are you've set the bar really high to impress them in the first few dates: You've gone to romantic dinner places, came up with mysterious date ideas, and acted like the kind of guy every girl wants: the creative and unpredictable romantic.

The problem with that schtick, however, is that you're acting like the guy every girl wants. Sooner or later, the act's going to get blown and you'll soon revert to the standard-fare dinner-movie date ideas. So while you may be interested in her, she, however, will take the back-peddling to “regular” dates as a sign that you're uninterested and giving up the chase.

Solution: Don't go all out to impress her all the time – as we've said before, it's not your job to entertain her by playing the role of her ideal date. There's nothing wrong with the regular date – if she likes you, enjoying your company should be what matters – as long as you mix it up occasionally with something special once every two or three dates.

Call or text her all the time

No one likes to be a pest; the guy or girl who constantly bugs their date for attention, and gets insulted when there's no reply. A person who does that says two things about themselves: (1) They're insecure about themselves and need constant validation that someone likes them; and (2) they can't respect a person's time and space.

The bottom line is this: if she likes you, she'll text back soon. And if she doesn't pick up the phone? Don't call again and again as if you're having a heart attack – leave her a polite text about what you wanted to say.

Solution: If she doesn't reply to your messages immediately a few times, it doesn't mean she's brushing you off. But, if she does it most of the time, and her answers are curt and non-committal, chances are she's not interested. And so what? Pick yourself up again and move on. Remember: Attraction's a two-way street, and you won't change her mind by pestering her.

Don't take charge

“I'll do anything you want to, dear” is the last thing you'd want to say to a girl. It speaks of an indecisive character. Be proactive; make suggestions about where to go or what to do, and nudge her if she's undecided about something out of her comfort zone. This isn't to say that your decisions are final and not up to negotiation – that's just being inconsiderate and chauvinistic.

Solution: Always take the initiative to ask her out, plan the night out, and when the time comes, know when to make the first move. If you want to lose her within a week, be passive and do nothing.

Second guess what she feels

It's normal in wanting to have a sense of control over the relationship. You want to be the guy who anticipates what she feels, knows what to say at the right time, is so connected to her that you can finish her sentence before she does.

The truth is, there's nothing more annoying than a guy who wants to get into her head and anticipate her thoughts before she can speak them. These wants may be well-intentioned, but carry on and she'll soon be pleading for some “space”, with a break up inevitable.

Solution: Don't try too hard, son. There are some thoughts that women choose to reveal to other people besides you. Don't pester her with constant questions of “What are you feeling/thinking right now?”. More importantly, don't assume the reasons for her annoyed emotions and tell her your theory. You'll always be wrong.

Playing too hard to get

You may think waiting a week or two before sending a text will make her want you more, but by that point any girl will have moved on to the next guy that comes along. Screw playing games here: make your move or else she’ll make hers—on someone else.

Solution: After a date, just send a text message saying that you had a nice time, and look forward to the next time when you meet again. That way, the ball's in her court, and it's up to her to make the next move.

Crazy About Her? Send Her the Right Signals

You can be straight up but where’s the fun in that? Be sure you send out the right signals...
Be yourself. Nothing is sexier than a man who’s comfortable in his own skin, be it a wild child or a nerd.
Treat service staff with respect. How you treat them is a sneak preview into your attitude towards other people, especially her. She’ll be paying attention. She always does.
Switch off the phone or put it on silent and put it away. Make sure she’s the object of your attention for the entire night, not your shiny new smartphone.

10 reasons your crush picked the other girl

One of the worst feelings ever is finding out that the guy you have a crush on likes someone else. What’s worse is if the other girl’s a mutual friend – that is, you’re obliged to feign happiness while watching the blissful couple cooing at each other all day.
It’s a weird situation to be in. You want to know why he chose her, but any answer other than “Huh, you like me? Okay, I've changed my mind,” would cast you into a tempest of self-loathing. If the guy’s a decent person, he’ll spare you the details.

1. He liked her even before he met you
Sorry, girl. Finding love is about being in the right place at the right time, and unfortunately, she got there before you did. If he’s had his heart set on her all along, don’t try so hard to present yourself as the better alternative. Just know that even if he did go for you instead, the girl he liked before you might always remain in his mind as a giant “what if.”

2.  He didn't know how you felt
Maybe he didn't think he had a chance with you, while the other girl’s intentions were obvious. Sometimes you don’t consider the other person as relationship material because you didn't think there was anything brewing between you to begin with. Nobody likes being rejected, so unless he was dead set on having you no matter what (which clearly wasn't the case), he’s going to pursue somebody more available.

3. She threw herself at him and he couldn't resist
More than one of our male friends have admitted that they were won over by pure persistence. If you've ever been a little grossed out seeing a girl throwing herself at a guy who’s clearly less invested than she is, well, it’s a thousand times more maddening when she’s doing it to the guy you like – and he goes for it! “How can a guy like someone so desperate?”In a perfect world, you think, you’d have been rewarded for showing a little more dignity. But maybe he simply had more opportunities to get to know her since she was always around, while you were barely a blip on his radar.

4. She presented more of a challenge
On the other hand, some guys like the chase and the uncertainty. Maybe you were the one overselling yourself, while she talked to him as if she had nothing to prove. If you were a little too available, he might have gotten bored and decided to pursue the more ‘mysterious’ girl.

5. His friends encouraged him to date her
Maybe they’re friends with her and have always dreamed of seeing the two of them as a couple. Or maybe they simply have more insight into him as a person than you do, and recognize that he and the other girl are a better match. In that case, you dodged a bullet by not dating a guy whose friends aren't that into you. Relationships are always easier when you know that your partner’s friends have your back.

6. You’re in the friend zone  
People always ask if it’s possible for girls to be in the friend zone. Or if the friend zone even exists. But we’re here to tell you that if your crush has always seen you as “one of the guys” or as his “best bud,” it’s going to be a lot harder to distract him from that attractive girl he just met two weeks ago. Chances are, he doesn't even put the two of you in the same category of women.
If you’re tired of being in the friend zone, don’t just hang around, being the ultra-dependable girl secretly pining for her best friend. Reinvent yourself, date other people, be less available to him, and hope that he’ll eventually see “the new you” in the way that you want to be seen.

7. He was more attracted to her physically
This one’s a tough pill to swallow, but the other girl has a natural advantage if she’s more of his physical type than you are. That doesn't mean that you’re less attractive than her, it just means that when it comes to this guy, you always had your work cut out for you. Think about it in terms of food.
If you prefer pasta to pizza, then you’re probably going to order linguine over a calzone while eating Italian. Sure, you can still enjoy the latter, but it’s never going to be your first choice. At any rate, it’s better to date someone who can’t help liking you than date with someone who has to work at it.

8. You let your nervousness get the best of you
Lots of women freeze up when confronted by the man of their dreams. Some guys like a cute, bubbly girl who can’t quite hide her nervousness. But if you’re the type who shuts down around guys that you like, now would be a good time to develop some self-confidence. It’s not easy to have chemistry with someone who gives off a passive, frigid impression. Make more male friends and go out in mixed-gender groups, which are less intimidating than being around a whole bunch of guys.
With a little bit of time, you’ll become comfortable and confident enough to be natural when you’re with a person you’re interested in.

9. It was never a competition to begin with
It’s easy to get caught up in this narrative of “me versus her,” but if he didn't like you in the first place, then he never had to choose between the two of you. You just happened to be someone (perhaps one of many) who also liked him. Instead of obsessing over how she was the winner and you were the loser, or how she “snatched” him away from you before you had a chance, keep in mind that if it wasn't her, it’d be someone else. He just doesn't like you that way.

10. She was 'The One'
Sorry, but he and she were soul mates. They’re happy, they’re married, and there’s nothing you could have done about it if they were just meant for each other. You can compete with another girl for the same guy if he’s vaguely interested in you both. But not when she’s his dream woman. If you believe in destiny, then you’ll know that there’s little we can do to stop it. Just be happy knowing that if there’s a plan for them, there’s one for you too.

10 ways to look great while working out

While none of us expect to look like a supermodel while we’re pounding away on the treadmill, looking good while working out can help to boost your confidence, which can in turn help you to work harder and get better results.


Flatter your figure
While fashions come and go, the important thing when choosing clothes to work out in is to go for something you feel completely comfortable in. If you’re not 100 per cent sure when you try it on then don’t buy it – it’s unlikely to grow on you. Also, just as you would when planning an outfit for any other event, go for clothes that flatter your body shape, aren't too tight or too baggy and which show off the parts of your body you’re proud of.

Opt for breathable materials
Sweat patches aren't the best accessory for any outfit, but luckily they are easily avoidable. As well as using an antiperspirant before your workout, make sure you avoid wearing cotton if you are heading out for a run or intense workout, as the material will absorb heat and moisture and cling to your skin. Instead, go for clothes made from lightweight, breathable materials such as polyester, nylon and spandex.


Go for natural makeup
While many ladies think bare-faced is the best way to go when working out, some of us need a bit of extra confidence to spur us on. For a flawless yet fresh-faced complexion, opt for a light base of tinted moisturiser or mineral foundation. Mineral makeup is particularly good for those with oily or acne-prone skins as it will help to reduce shine and provide coverage without blocking pores. Pair this with waterproof mascara and some tinted lip balm for a natural look.


Wear a well fitted sports bra
Not only can wearing the wrong bra size (or one not specifically created for exercise) lead to health problems including back, neck and breast pain and poor posture, it can also affect the appearance of your breasts, both short and long term. Make sure you get measured and choose a supportive bra to ensure you are getting the support you need.


Create your perfect silhouette
If you’re feeling self-conscious about your lumps and bumps, consider investing in some shape-wear which can help smooth and conceal problem areas. As well as tummy-control trousers and leggings for running or exercise classes, you can purchase swimming costumes with tummy control features or padding at the bust to help you create the look you want and feel confident for your workout.


Go for color
No matter how much you love exercise, we all have days when we just can’t get ourselves motivated or in the right frame of mind. For those days when you’re feeling lacking in energy or enthusiasm, why not invest in some vibrant workout gear to help brighten up your workout? Pair a colorful top with some slimming black trousers or shorts for the perfect fun workout look.


Opt for an updo
Girls, no matter how much you love wearing your hair down, trust us, at the end of an energetic workout or run, you are not going to love this look quite so much. To keep your hair neat, groomed and out of your face while you are working out, go for an updo such as a high ponytail, ponytail braid or bun. To make sure it is completely out of the way (and to prevent it from getting sweaty) you could complete the look with a cotton hair band..


Blot away shine
There’s nothing like an oily, sweaty complexion for spoiling your look while working out, but luckily these problems are easily fixable. To blot away shine and cool down while you are at the gym, take a bottle of water and towel and try blotting your face with the dampened towel during your workout. Alternatively, try a sports sponge, such as those by Ramer or Konjac. These absorbent and cleansing sponges can be kept moist in their containers for a refreshing wipe as you exercise.


Accessorize
OK, so you’re probably not going to want to wear your best pair of dangly earrings or necklace down to the gym (and we would definitely advise against it if you do); however, accessorizing your workout gear with some unique (and useful) accessories such as a decorative water bottle, a nice sports watch or a colorful kit bag is a great way to add some personality and fun to your workout look.


Tone down redness
Together with a sweaty and oily complexion, sporting the red-faced look is one of the biggest beauty problems when working out. Fed up of resembling a tomato? There are plenty of things you can do to tone down this look. Wearing some light mineral face powder can help to even out your complexion. Also, try to drink plenty of water before, during and after your workout. Investing in a water spray, like Avene Thermal Spring Water spray, can also help you to stay looking cool and refreshed.

Top 10 worst female health habits

Wearing heels

More and more of us are opting to wear heels on a daily basis, and this could be bad news for our health. High heels affect our posture, put pressure on joints, and can lead to a range of conditions including arthritis, hammer toes, back pain and tendon injuries – and that’s before you take into account any heel-related accidents! To minimize damage, limit your heels to 1.5 inches for daily wear, and wear insoles to help reduce the pressure on joints.

Carrying a heavy handbag

With the rising number of gadgets and accessories the majority of women haul around, many of us are carrying around several pounds of weight on our shoulders every day. As a result, lots of us are also putting our long term health at risk. While you may not feel the effects right now, lugging around a heavy handbag can lead to serious back problems and neck pain as well as poor posture. Don’t wait until the damage is done – do your health a favor and try clearing out all non-essential items and switching to a smaller bag.


Sleeping in makeup

Most of us have succumbed to the temptation to sleep in our post-party makeup at some point. However, leaving makeup on overnight – along with the dirt and oil that naturally accumulates on skin throughout the day –is a quick route to clogged pores, congested skin and spots. Sleeping with mascara and eye makeup on can also affect your health by causing eye irritation, bloodshot eyes or even infection.


Matching men drink for drink

From networking drinks to first dates and social events, there are many instances when women may feel compelled to keep up with the drinking habits of the opposite sex. However, women not only tend to weigh less than men but they have less body water to dilute the alcohol, which means they tend to get more drunk more quickly. To minimize the risks of alcohol on your health, try to keep within the recommended guidelines for alcohol consumption and alternate alcohol with soft drinks.


Wearing the wrong bra size

It is thought that more than 70 per cent of women are wearing the wrong bra size. However, wearing a badly fitted bra can not only affect the look of your clothes, but research suggests it can cause a range of health problems including back, neck and breast pain, breathing difficulties, poor posture, skin irritation, circulation problems and even irritable bowel syndrome. Rather than guessing your size, make sure you get measured to ensure you are getting the support you need.


Worrying and harboring regrets

Stress is damaging to both our physical and mental health, and women are twice as likely as men to suffer from stress-related disorders, as well as having higher rates of depression and anxiety. While it is thought there may be biological reasons for this, worrying about the future and dwelling on regrets can also add to our problems, with research suggesting that women are more than twice as likely as men to harbor regrets over lost loves and broken relationships.


Obsessing over appearance

While both genders suffer from body insecurity, many women tend to overly obsess over their idea of the “perfect” body. Research findings published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology found that 16 per cent of the normal or underweight women studied believed themselves to be overweight, while a study commissioned by Dove found that 90 per of women wanted to change at least one aspect of their appearance. Body insecurity not only affects our mental health, but it can also lead to physical damage caused by extreme diets, yo-yo dieting, eating disorders and cosmetic surgery.


Emotional eating

While comfort eating affects both genders, research has suggested that men are more likely to reinforce positive emotions with food, while women comfort eat when they’re sad. Women are also more likely to satisfy their cravings with sweet, high calorie foods. Rather than letting your waistline suffer next time you’re feeling blue, try distracting yourself from cravings by doing something you enjoy, or boost your endorphins and health with an uplifting workout.


Not getting enough sleep

Not only can lack of sleep make us look and feel at our worst, but insufficient shut-eye can also lead to increased accidents, calorie consumption and heart disease risk. Unluckily for women, statistics suggest that sleep problems affect more women than men, while a study by the University of Michigan found that women are more than twice as likely to give up sleep to care for others. Unfortunately, sleep has been found to affect women’s blood pressure and mood more than men’s, making it imperative that you do your best to get a good night’s sleep.


Putting themselves last

Not only are women more likely to compromise their sleeping habits to care for children and others, they are also prone to putting their own wants and needs at the bottom of a hectic to-do list of chores and obligations. To avoid running yourself into the ground, learn to sometimes say no to those requests and commitments that are less than essential, and make sure you set aside some “me” time each week to do something enjoyable just for you.

Demi Lovato "Give Your Heart a Break"

The video is based on Lovato trying to win her boyfriend again, portrayed by Alex Bechet, after a fight, showing him that she is the one meant to be with him. The music video starts with Lovato and her boyfriend having an argument over the phone. After hanging up, she starts singing the song and recollects memories of them together. She is then shown collecting pictures of her and her boyfriend, inter-cut with her walking down a road while singing the second verse, and pasting the photos collected by her on a wall. Each picture has a memory behind it, which is recounted by her. At the end of the video, Lovato's boyfriend looks out his window as he beholds a large collage of pictures, depicting a picture of them smiling. Lovato is shown walking back home, as she turns around and smiles, confident that her plan has worked.

Demi recently released a new video on her Youtube opening up about the meaning behind her current single “Give Your Heart a Break.” She says that “Give Your Heart a Break” is not at all about someone who has a broken heart – in fact, Demi says this song is about faith, fighting for the one you love and mostly believing that you’re worth falling for.

The day I first met you

You told me you'd never fall in love

But now that I get you

I know fear is what it really was

Now here we are

So close yet so far

Haven't I passed the test

When will you realize

Baby, I'm not like the rest

Don't wanna break your heart

Wanna give your heart a break

I know you're scared it's wrong

Like you might make a mistake

There's just one life to live

And there's no time to wait, to wait

So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

There's just so much you can take

Give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

Oh yeah, yeah

On Sunday you went home alone

There were tears in your eyes

I called your cell phone, my love

But you did not reply

The world is ours if we want it

We can take it if you just take my hand

There's no turning back now

Baby, try to understand

Don't wanna break your heart

Wanna give your heart a break

I know you're scared it's wrong

Like you might make a mistake

There's just one life to live

And there's no time to wait, to wait

So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

There's just so much you can take

Give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

Oh yeah, yeah

When your lips are on my lips

Then our hearts beat as one

But you slip out of my fingertips

Every time you run, whoa-oh-whoa-oh-oh

Don't wanna break your heart

Wanna give your heart a break

I know you're scared it's wrong

Like you might make a mistake

There's just one life to live

And there's no time to wait, to wait

So let me give your heart a break

'Cause you've been hurt before

I can see it in your eyes

You try to smile it away, some things you can't disguise

Don't wanna break your heart

Maybe, I can ease the ache, the ache

So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

There's just so much you can take

Give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

Oh yeah, yeah

The day I first met you

You told me you'd never fall in love

10 questions you should ask the person you’re dating

If you were going for a job interview you would have a huge list of questions to ask the company, so why would you not prepare some questions for your date?


Are you a saver or a spender?
Although we all like to think money doesn't matter when it comes to love, if you’re going to get serious with your date you need to know if they are a saver or a spender and understand how their attitude to money corresponds to your habits.
How to ask this question: To subtly ask this question ask your date where they went away this year. If the location seems to be within their means when you consider their job then your date is probably good with cash.

Are you seeing anyone else?
Establishing where you stand and what kind of relationship you are in is really important if you don’t want to end up hurt or hurting your date. Find out what they think your relationship is to avoid unnecessary confusion.
How to ask this question: There is no subtle way of asking this question and it is best to simply ask it directly. Prepare another topic of conversation though in case the situation becomes awkward once you have asked.


The list
Once you've been dating for a little while and you think you could get serious with your date it’s time to write down the names of every person you have dated or slept with. You might think nothing is worth this humiliation, but finding out three months into a relationship that your boyfriend slept with your sister and never called her back is not a fate anyone should have to suffer.
How to ask this question: Watching a film where a couple write a list of people they dated is a great way to introduce the idea and will help you to ask this question.


Do you have children?
You would be surprised by the amount of people who don’t ask whether their date has kids and by how many parents struggle to tell their date that they have children when not asked.
How to ask this question: If you want to ask this question you could talk about one of your friends or relatives who have kids and then after telling a funny anecdote about their children casually ask your date if they have children.


Why did you break up?
Why past relationships in your date’s life broke down can reveal a great deal about your date. Not only can you judge their values from past break ups, you can also begin to understand any insecurities they may have inherited as a result of their ex. Remember though, their explanation for a break up is just one side of the story.
How to ask this question:  Avoid talking about exes on your first few dates, but after you've gone out together four or five times then you could begin to talk about your own ex and how you broke up. Once you've finished you can then ask about your current date’s past break ups.


Religion and politics
Religion and politics are very sensitive topics and in part they are sensitive because they are important to people. Knowing how your views about the world correspond will help you understand one another better and help you judge whether you have a future together.
How to ask this question: To ask directly what someone’s religious and political views are can be seen as being blunt and it can sometimes be best to ask questions about your date’s life and their opinions on current affairs, which in turn will reflect their religious and political views.


Can I meet your friends?
This is a very telling question and you need to watch your date’s reaction closely if you want to understand how they feel about you. If they seem really keen for you to meet their friends then it’s a sign they really like you, but if your date seems a little hesitant perhaps they’re not quite ready for that level of commitment yet.
How to ask this question:  Wait for your date to talk about one of their friends or what they got up to at the weekend before asking whether you could meet their friends soon. This will make the question seem less planned and it will seem more natural.


Marriage
If you've got your heart set on tying the knot or if you can’t see yourself ever wanting to get married then it’s best to share your opinion on weddings as early as possible. Although the connection you feel is important, for a relationship to work your plans for the future have to compliment each others, so be honest and share your thoughts about marriage.
How to ask this question: Chances are if you’re thinking about weddings then so are your friends. If someone you know gets engaged or actually has their wedding whilst you are dating use this opportunity to bring up the topic of marriage.


Pets
It seems like the silliest of things when you begin dating but if your date is a big dog lover and you can’t stand animals then this may cause a big problem five years down the line.
How to ask this question: Ask your date if they have any pets. If they don’t then ask them why; they may be pet-less because of their circumstances and not because they don’t desperately want animals.


Hobbies
When they are single, people tend to fill their lives up with friends, volunteering, hobbies and work. Yet once you start to date someone seriously you need them to give up some of their activities in order to give your relationship the time and attention it needs to succeed. Some people struggle to do this though and it can cause a lot of heartache.
How to ask this question: Ask your date what the most important things in their life are and try to gauge whether their sports team is always going to be number one in their life.

10 ways to know you're no longer in love

Attracted to other people
Checking out a cute waiter or having the odd secret daydream about a beautiful celeb is perfectly normal and feeling attracted to someone in this way is not a sign that you are no longer in love. Yet if you start to feel strongly attracted to someone ‘real’ in your life, like a colleague, for example, or a friend, then this may be a sign you need to break up with your partner.

Your life is too full
When you first began dating your partner do you remember how you used to rush home from work just so you could be together? In a long-term relationship you can’t expect to want to spend as much time with your partner as you used to do when you first began dating, but if recently you've been filling up your days and your nights and your partner is not a part of your plans, it might be a sign you’re no longer in love.


You can’t forgive them
Sadly most relationships are marked by upset and most healthy relationships also involve a certain amount of forgiveness too. If you are struggling to forgive your partner for something that previously you would have been able to get over, you should ask yourself why. Can you not forgive them because you don’t love them?


You go clammy over commitment
Your relationship should always be moving forward and although you might have felt comfortable moving in together a few months ago, how do you feel now? Does the next step – whether that involves meeting their parents or having a baby – freak you out? If you begin to go clammy over your partner’s questions about commitment it might mean you no longer want to be in your relationship and you need to talk through these feelings with your boyfriend or girlfriend.


You don’t want to help them do their accounts
When you love someone you want to do anything for them and will offer your help and support when they need it. One sign that shows you might have lost that loving feeling is if you no longer want to give them that help and when they ask for your advice or assistance you resent them for needing you.


You look for fights
Some days, when you are in a stinking mood, fights can erupt easily and are a natural part of life. Yet if you are constantly looking for fights and blow up normally insignificant annoyances, making them into a big deal, it might be because you secretly want to break up with the person you are seeing. The next time a fight breaks out think about why you are so upset and whether the blame you are dishing out is deserved.


You don’t want to have sex
Love is very physical and although it’s perfectly normal for your sex life to not be as wild or as passionate as it was in those early days, sex should still be a significant part of your relationship. If you have lost the urge to have sex with your partner it may be because you haven’t done it in a while. If you are comfortable doing so, try to make sex a priority for a few weeks and if you still don’t want to get intimate with your partner after that period it might indicate that you’re no longer in love.


You’re not in sync
Body language experts believe that it is possible to tell when couples are no longer in love with each other by the way they move and interact when together. For example, if the man goes to hold the hand of his girlfriend and as he does so his girlfriend brushes her hair from her face with the hand he went to hold, it reveals an underlying discordance between the couple and shows they are no longer in sync.
If you find that there are lots of instances where your actions clash and your body language is awkward when together, it could be a sign you've lost your connection and you are no longer in love.


You’re holding out for better
Although you’re relatively happy in your relationship if you secretly think that there is someone better out there for you then chances are you are not in love.  Believing that someone else is more suited to you or hoping that this is not The One clearly shows you that you are no longer in love with your partner and it might be time to face the situation head on and think about breaking up.


You doubt your feelings
In the movies when teenagers aren't certain whether they are in love or not, some wise owl tends to tell them that: ‘You’ll just know when you are’. Similarly, if you doubt your feelings and are having to ask yourself whether you’re no longer in love with your partner, then the chances are you’re not in love – you should just know.
Remember though that love is never continuous and there will be some days when you feel bowled over by the strength of your feelings towards your partner and other days when you don’t feel that strongly at all.

5 secrets he’ll never tell you

Secrets and scandals are a part of everyone’s life and even if you think you and your boyfriend are immune from the scurrilous dramas that affect every other couple, you’d be wrong. Even the most honest men keep secrets.

#1. Did he love you back then?
Although most chick flicks depict all guys as being hopeless commitment-phobia, in reality it would seem that a lot of men actually announce those three killer words prematurely. Did your man tell you he loved you too soon? If he did, it may not have been because he instantly fell in love with your pretty smile and sharp wit; he may just have said those three little words to get laid.
A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men tended to say they loved girls because they thought it would increase their chances of having sex with them. If you are now beginning to doubt your guy’s intentions, don’t bother asking him for the truth unless you have a lie detector machine to hand – he won’t tell you the true reason why he declared his love to you and never will.

#2. Why he called you by his ex’s name
When your boyfriend accidentally calls you by his ex’s name it can feel as if your whole world is crumbling around you. Do you act casual and just shrug it off, or is there a more sinister truth behind his slip up?
Well, if you take note of a study that found that a quarter of all British men want to get back with their first love then you might want to raise a few issues with your guy. However, even if you did confront him would he tell you the truth? It would seem not, as the study also found that a whopping one in six men are still secretly in touch with their ex.
#3. That he’s depressed
More than five million men in the US are thought to have depression, yet the figure may be higher because many guys don’t talk about their feelings. Studies have found that guys are much less likely to admit to feeling depressed than women.  Although studies have not concluded why this is, it may be because some men want to live up to a macho stereotype, whilst others are unsure who to turn to for help.
To help your boyfriend, be aware of the signs that indicate your man is depressed. He may be unusually tired, have lost his sex drive or have new health problems like backache, constipation, diarrhea or headaches. There are lots of other symptoms too, but these are some common signs to look for and be aware of.

#4. His long-term plan
So, on a Sunday morning you often lie in with your boyfriend and talk about your future. You talk about getting married, the amount of kids you’ll have and where you’ll both settle down. Although you think this is a two-way conversation and that you are both being honest and frank with one another, be warned, things may not be as they seem.
Men will often go along with this fairytale-like game, but their actual long-term plan is very different. If you think your guy might just be placating you, ask them concrete questions, like ‘At what age do you want kids?’ and, ‘If we moved to the suburbs, how would I get to work?’. Although he may not have the answers to these questions (because, in reality, who does?!) his reaction may become defensive and angry. That’s a sign he’s keeping his long-term plan a secret.

#5. He wants a hug
We all had our suspicions, but now the truth is out; men love to hug. A study undertaken by the Kinsey Institute found that, for men, hugging and kissing were very important to their overall happiness in a relationship. Yet, for women, the study found sexual satisfaction was more important to their happiness within a long-term relationship.
So, the next time you see your boyfriend give him a big squeeze because the chances are, he’s desperate for a cuddle but won’t ever ask for one.