Once you overcome a few nerves, getting past the first date hurdle isn't too hard – it's maintaining a constant attraction and moving into the relationship zone afterwards that many guys find that they start to lose the girl. What are you doing wrong?
Be predictable
If you really like someone, chances are you've set the bar really high to impress them in the first few dates: You've gone to romantic dinner places, came up with mysterious date ideas, and acted like the kind of guy every girl wants: the creative and unpredictable romantic.
The problem with that schtick, however, is that you're acting like the guy every girl wants. Sooner or later, the act's going to get blown and you'll soon revert to the standard-fare dinner-movie date ideas. So while you may be interested in her, she, however, will take the back-peddling to “regular” dates as a sign that you're uninterested and giving up the chase.
Solution: Don't go all out to impress her all the time – as we've said before, it's not your job to entertain her by playing the role of her ideal date. There's nothing wrong with the regular date – if she likes you, enjoying your company should be what matters – as long as you mix it up occasionally with something special once every two or three dates.
Call or text her all the time
No one likes to be a pest; the guy or girl who constantly bugs their date for attention, and gets insulted when there's no reply. A person who does that says two things about themselves: (1) They're insecure about themselves and need constant validation that someone likes them; and (2) they can't respect a person's time and space.
The bottom line is this: if she likes you, she'll text back soon. And if she doesn't pick up the phone? Don't call again and again as if you're having a heart attack – leave her a polite text about what you wanted to say.
Solution: If she doesn't reply to your messages immediately a few times, it doesn't mean she's brushing you off. But, if she does it most of the time, and her answers are curt and non-committal, chances are she's not interested. And so what? Pick yourself up again and move on. Remember: Attraction's a two-way street, and you won't change her mind by pestering her.
Don't take charge
“I'll do anything you want to, dear” is the last thing you'd want to say to a girl. It speaks of an indecisive character. Be proactive; make suggestions about where to go or what to do, and nudge her if she's undecided about something out of her comfort zone. This isn't to say that your decisions are final and not up to negotiation – that's just being inconsiderate and chauvinistic.
Solution: Always take the initiative to ask her out, plan the night out, and when the time comes, know when to make the first move. If you want to lose her within a week, be passive and do nothing.
Second guess what she feels
It's normal in wanting to have a sense of control over the relationship. You want to be the guy who anticipates what she feels, knows what to say at the right time, is so connected to her that you can finish her sentence before she does.
The truth is, there's nothing more annoying than a guy who wants to get into her head and anticipate her thoughts before she can speak them. These wants may be well-intentioned, but carry on and she'll soon be pleading for some “space”, with a break up inevitable.
Solution: Don't try too hard, son. There are some thoughts that women choose to reveal to other people besides you. Don't pester her with constant questions of “What are you feeling/thinking right now?”. More importantly, don't assume the reasons for her annoyed emotions and tell her your theory. You'll always be wrong.
Playing too hard to get
You may think waiting a week or two before sending a text will make her want you more, but by that point any girl will have moved on to the next guy that comes along. Screw playing games here: make your move or else she’ll make hers—on someone else.
Solution: After a date, just send a text message saying that you had a nice time, and look forward to the next time when you meet again. That way, the ball's in her court, and it's up to her to make the next move.
Crazy About Her? Send Her the Right Signals
You can be straight up but where’s the fun in that? Be sure you send out the right signals...
Be yourself. Nothing is sexier than a man who’s comfortable in his own skin, be it a wild child or a nerd.
Treat service staff with respect. How you treat them is a sneak preview into your attitude towards other people, especially her. She’ll be paying attention. She always does.
Switch off the phone or put it on silent and put it away. Make sure she’s the object of your attention for the entire night, not your shiny new smartphone.
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