Secrets and scandals are a part of everyone’s life and even if you think you and your boyfriend are immune from the scurrilous dramas that affect every other couple, you’d be wrong. Even the most honest men keep secrets.
#1. Did he love you back then?
Although most chick flicks depict all guys as being hopeless commitment-phobia, in reality it would seem that a lot of men actually announce those three killer words prematurely. Did your man tell you he loved you too soon? If he did, it may not have been because he instantly fell in love with your pretty smile and sharp wit; he may just have said those three little words to get laid.
A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men tended to say they loved girls because they thought it would increase their chances of having sex with them. If you are now beginning to doubt your guy’s intentions, don’t bother asking him for the truth unless you have a lie detector machine to hand – he won’t tell you the true reason why he declared his love to you and never will.
#2. Why he called you by his ex’s name
When your boyfriend accidentally calls you by his ex’s name it can feel as if your whole world is crumbling around you. Do you act casual and just shrug it off, or is there a more sinister truth behind his slip up?
Well, if you take note of a study that found that a quarter of all British men want to get back with their first love then you might want to raise a few issues with your guy. However, even if you did confront him would he tell you the truth? It would seem not, as the study also found that a whopping one in six men are still secretly in touch with their ex.
#3. That he’s depressed
More than five million men in the US are thought to have depression, yet the figure may be higher because many guys don’t talk about their feelings. Studies have found that guys are much less likely to admit to feeling depressed than women. Although studies have not concluded why this is, it may be because some men want to live up to a macho stereotype, whilst others are unsure who to turn to for help.
To help your boyfriend, be aware of the signs that indicate your man is depressed. He may be unusually tired, have lost his sex drive or have new health problems like backache, constipation, diarrhea or headaches. There are lots of other symptoms too, but these are some common signs to look for and be aware of.
#4. His long-term plan
So, on a Sunday morning you often lie in with your boyfriend and talk about your future. You talk about getting married, the amount of kids you’ll have and where you’ll both settle down. Although you think this is a two-way conversation and that you are both being honest and frank with one another, be warned, things may not be as they seem.
Men will often go along with this fairytale-like game, but their actual long-term plan is very different. If you think your guy might just be placating you, ask them concrete questions, like ‘At what age do you want kids?’ and, ‘If we moved to the suburbs, how would I get to work?’. Although he may not have the answers to these questions (because, in reality, who does?!) his reaction may become defensive and angry. That’s a sign he’s keeping his long-term plan a secret.
#5. He wants a hug
We all had our suspicions, but now the truth is out; men love to hug. A study undertaken by the Kinsey Institute found that, for men, hugging and kissing were very important to their overall happiness in a relationship. Yet, for women, the study found sexual satisfaction was more important to their happiness within a long-term relationship.
So, the next time you see your boyfriend give him a big squeeze because the chances are, he’s desperate for a cuddle but won’t ever ask for one.
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