Let's have church people! Yes, today I have been having church, not in a chapel or a cathedral but in my heart, mind and soul. I awoke before 5 am and I have been watching the Gather Gospel hour marathon. I have to admit I have not been to this place just between God and I for a while now. I have been sick, and yes that was a time that I needed him most. It has been so hard for me to ask for prayer from my peeps lately since I was judged not so very long ago, and I have to watch what I post on my timeline as well. For you see the devil used someone I truly cared for to steal my joy. When things like this happen they come from the devil, and he can use anyone preachers, teachers, scholars, you and yes even me.
Let's get this straight I am a backslider I profess nothing, but yes I love the Lord with all my heart and soul. Yes, it has been a while since I served him, but I have praised him daily. I know that most people believe "Once saved always saved", but not me. For you see my grandfather is a "Pentecostal Preacher". This is and will be forever my religion, since I find "truth" in the teaching of Pentecost. No we do not handle snakes, since that is always the first thing that people ask. The Pentecostal religion comes from the book of "Acts". Pentecost can be found in the 2nd chapter of Acts. This is where God gives Peter the keys to the kingdom, and well worth checking it out for yourself.
I know it is a cop out, but I found it hard to conform myself to the teachings of the Pentecostal religion which a majority of people do. For you see as women we never cut our hair, wear makeup and wear dresses only and almost down to our ankles. I can conform to no tobacco, alcohol which in most religions believe that we must keep our bodies (Our Temple) clean. But, I must also say that in the Pentecostal religion we do not judge others. We accept everyone, pray for everyone although they may not attend our church. A woman could enter the church in a bikini and we may be shocked, but the church would welcome her or anyone with open arms. For you see this is yet another soul that though love,compassion and caring can possible be won over to Jesus, but only though the same love and compassion that God gives us. No I have never saw a woman enter the church in a bikini, but once a girl around 18 years old roller bladed in wearing shorts and a tank top. Lets say she was ready for a change, and yes she found it that day. My granny once said, that when we make it to heaven the people we expect to see will not be there, and the people we least expect will be. Not saying I will be there, but we must first change ourselves before we can reach anyone else.No I am not a fence rider for the bible tells us that we must be hot or cold and not luke warm, and that if we are luke warm the "Lord" shall spew us from his mouth. Religion is something I take very seriously!
As for the reason for this post, I find it very hard to be me now. I see my friends post on their timelines graphics that read if you "Love Jesus" like or repost. I always did until I was hurt and yes humiliated by someone that made it a point to post their dislike for my pictures and post on my timeline. Yes, I did call them on it, and yes they apologized to me which I accepted. I still accept their there apology, and yes I love them still. But, since that day I have tried to respect their feelings, and then on Friday I made a mistake and tagged myself in my photo's that were not tagged. I really did feel bad and yes I blocked my albums on that page so that they were not posted on my timeline. But, I found that I could not block the pictures from my timeline after all, and I have wondered since Friday if I hurt this person or what they must think of me?
Then, this morning I received clarity. I sit here wondering why I was worried after all? Why I respected this person more than they respected me? For you see since that day I accepted their apology, I have made a effort to forget about it, and to move on. For you see I do forgive others, so that I too can be forgiven.I have liked things on their timeline, and left comments that were never answered. Then this morning I thought about this person and about our friendship.For you see a few months ago I almost died. This was after what was said to me, their apology and the apology I accepted. For you see I had a subdural hematoma, and surgery to repair the bleed back in May of this year. I am still not 100% well yet, but thank 'The lord" I am getting there. No it certainly was not Karma or punishment for the way I dress, my pictures or anything I have done. I had previously had surgery for a brain stem/spinal cord injury that I sustained several years ago and the leak was from a blood vessel that weakened and burst nothing more.
I looked back today at the unanswered emails, likes and post to this person and it brought a tear to my eye. Then I looked to make sure, and there was nothing from this person while I was sick. Not a single email or post to say "get well" or I am praying for you. I know this since my friend Haley copied each of them, printed them out for me to make me feel better while I was in the hospital or on the mends at home. They simply did not pray for me while I was sick, and still ignore me today. But I pray for this person, love this person and yes I most definitely forgive this person. I know this person means well or I would have deleted them already. I only bring this up because their lack of compassion for their friends in need. I know my world will not stop if they have a problem with me. I know that I must start being myself again, and not care about what others think of me. I have but one judge and this person or no one on this earth can take his place. Halleluah!
I am not mad, but only hurt!
Don't Judge Me, For You Too Shall Be Judged.
