Letting Go Although It Is Hard...

I cannot Hear This Song and Not Think Of You Jason...

I know life is over for us as we knew it. I know that you are gone from me forever, never to return. No it is not fair, but I have stopped questioning God about it. I know it was not his fault, my fault but just a freak accident. I know just because you died that night and that I love you that I do not have to die with you. For you see that is what I have done my love. I died a little more each day that I had to spend on this earth without you. I have said that I have searched for a love other than you, but in reality I just didn't want to be alone. But, as we both know that cannot work, and it is not fair to the person I am with as long as I am in love with you. 

I must admit since reading your love letters to me, it has helped me to heal. I am no longer out on that dark desolate road alone searching for you, but remembering us in the good times. We were so good together, we could finish each others sentences, and everyday was a good day as long as you were near. We read the paper to each other on Sunday's and it was my turn to read to you next. In fact that very next morning. That morning that never came or will never come again. We showered together and you washed my back and I washed yours. You loved to shave my legs and had even washed my hair in a basin. I can still feel the water that you pour upon my hair, massaging ever so gently. We were so hands on together and not just in a sexual way, but a sensual one. Something I have never known before or after. 

I am still letting go my love, yet I love the way you loved me. I am smiling at you today Jason and I just know you are smiling back. 

I don't want to fall asleep, cause I'd miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing...

Prada exhibit in Venice= Am I not A Fashion Diva?

Sure I like nice things, but most designers I do not like except for shoes or purses. For example look at the new Prada exhibit in Venice. They look like costumes to me. I mean I might would wear the hair and face dress for Halloween. Does= this mean I am not in style?

"I See Dresses That Could Be Worn By Many Disney Female Characters" 

Don't I remember These, But This Is Funny...

Hold Still & Let Me See If I Like The Outfit. Please!

I learn to sew, quilt and needle point from my granny, but I cannot knit at all which my grandmother my daddy's mom tried to teach me. I remember going into the store and picking out the pattern, material, buttons or zippers anything the pattern called for and going to granny's and I would get on one sewing machine while she got on another. I remember the hardest thing for me to learn was button holes. Looks simple, but it's not as simple as it looks. 

I Thought This Was Cute & It Brought Back Some Memories....

SO SIMPLICITY  DANCE!

   

My week so far

I was very surprised at how things have went at work this week. I suppose I do not know all the rules here as of yet, but I was very surprised at how much I have actually worked on my own. I know at my previous hospital that when someone new joined the team they did nothing much but shadow for a week or so with minimal duties assigned to them, but not the case here. I have treated patients, written prescriptions, dictated and worked up charts. I'm Pooped! I worked two very long days and worked through lunch today, because I just never found the time.

Although, I did feel at home when I actually saw patients. I suppose there are those of you that know I changed my specialty to pediatric trauma medicine from a Neonatologist? It simply got to be too much for me emotionally. I cared for babies not meant to survive and some didn't, but when they grew and were healthy it was rewarding. Who knows I may return to Neonatology someday, but this is a new adventure for me. I am working in general pediatrics for now.

Last week I have everything set at home. Every service I need and some I do not need has been acquired. I had movers to move me but I loved unpacking and putting everything where I wanted it. As everyone says I put everything in almost the same place (setting). Everything is clean, I mowed the grass with my new lawn mower and weed eatted. Everything looks and smells nice. I was in Gain with Downy fabric softener.I cleaned both the carpets and the hardwoods again  even though they were clean just to be on the safe side.

I suppose you noticed that I have written many blogs prior to going to work. I love to write when I get nervous it calms my nerves. For what it is work I am liking Durham and I find everyone I meet happy, smiling and helpful, just my kind of people.