Have you ever thought you knew how your life would turn out and it turned out the total opposite
than how you imagined? Things you thought true was anything but? Yet, you are forced to go on
with life the way it seems and how it is dictated to you? When people we think care for us find
it there main goal in life to mess up yours.
I will not sit here and act as if I am incompetent and nothing was at all my fault, but I put trust in
people I thought loved and cared about me. I was very sick some years back and trusted my friends
and family with details and passwords for the sole purpose of keeping up with friends and being a
firm believer in prayer I would ask for prayer. I was so afraid, but to all who know me I would
never show fear. I always said, Everything is going to be fine, but underneath I was afraid, alone and
without the one person I asked for.
Looking back now I realize I made it and there was nothing to fear, yet I felt deserted.
Looking back now I am saddened at what might had been. But, through my determination to show
this person I would survive with or without him in my life I made a full recovery.
I just feel better knowing the truth and once again completely trusting in someone I thought
I never would again. I have always known this to be a good and true person yet let down
by the fact that I then thought them to be very shallow.
I began to believe as long as we are perfect we have nothing to worry about, but let us need
help or care and we are someone else's problem.
I have picked up the pieces and moved on in life, but nothing ever comes easy for me
and I am constantly plagued what if's? My short relationships are to my fault as always
having to be the dumper rather than the dumpie.
I know this knowledge changes nothing but does give me the peace of mind that things
were not as they seemed and the person was willing to help me at that time. Yet, life
has a way of moving on with ya or without ya. I am so happy for this person and
so happy that they never meant to hurt me.
