If you were going for a job interview you would have a huge list of questions to ask the company, so why would you not prepare some questions for your date?
Are you a saver or a spender?
Although we all like to think money doesn't matter when it comes to love, if you’re going to get serious with your date you need to know if they are a saver or a spender and understand how their attitude to money corresponds to your habits.
How to ask this question: To subtly ask this question ask your date where they went away this year. If the location seems to be within their means when you consider their job then your date is probably good with cash.
Are you seeing anyone else?
Establishing where you stand and what kind of relationship you are in is really important if you don’t want to end up hurt or hurting your date. Find out what they think your relationship is to avoid unnecessary confusion.
How to ask this question: There is no subtle way of asking this question and it is best to simply ask it directly. Prepare another topic of conversation though in case the situation becomes awkward once you have asked.
The list
Once you've been dating for a little while and you think you could get serious with your date it’s time to write down the names of every person you have dated or slept with. You might think nothing is worth this humiliation, but finding out three months into a relationship that your boyfriend slept with your sister and never called her back is not a fate anyone should have to suffer.
How to ask this question: Watching a film where a couple write a list of people they dated is a great way to introduce the idea and will help you to ask this question.
Do you have children?
You would be surprised by the amount of people who don’t ask whether their date has kids and by how many parents struggle to tell their date that they have children when not asked.
How to ask this question: If you want to ask this question you could talk about one of your friends or relatives who have kids and then after telling a funny anecdote about their children casually ask your date if they have children.
Why did you break up?
Why past relationships in your date’s life broke down can reveal a great deal about your date. Not only can you judge their values from past break ups, you can also begin to understand any insecurities they may have inherited as a result of their ex. Remember though, their explanation for a break up is just one side of the story.
How to ask this question: Avoid talking about exes on your first few dates, but after you've gone out together four or five times then you could begin to talk about your own ex and how you broke up. Once you've finished you can then ask about your current date’s past break ups.
Religion and politics
Religion and politics are very sensitive topics and in part they are sensitive because they are important to people. Knowing how your views about the world correspond will help you understand one another better and help you judge whether you have a future together.
How to ask this question: To ask directly what someone’s religious and political views are can be seen as being blunt and it can sometimes be best to ask questions about your date’s life and their opinions on current affairs, which in turn will reflect their religious and political views.
Can I meet your friends?
This is a very telling question and you need to watch your date’s reaction closely if you want to understand how they feel about you. If they seem really keen for you to meet their friends then it’s a sign they really like you, but if your date seems a little hesitant perhaps they’re not quite ready for that level of commitment yet.
How to ask this question: Wait for your date to talk about one of their friends or what they got up to at the weekend before asking whether you could meet their friends soon. This will make the question seem less planned and it will seem more natural.
Marriage
If you've got your heart set on tying the knot or if you can’t see yourself ever wanting to get married then it’s best to share your opinion on weddings as early as possible. Although the connection you feel is important, for a relationship to work your plans for the future have to compliment each others, so be honest and share your thoughts about marriage.
How to ask this question: Chances are if you’re thinking about weddings then so are your friends. If someone you know gets engaged or actually has their wedding whilst you are dating use this opportunity to bring up the topic of marriage.
Pets
It seems like the silliest of things when you begin dating but if your date is a big dog lover and you can’t stand animals then this may cause a big problem five years down the line.
How to ask this question: Ask your date if they have any pets. If they don’t then ask them why; they may be pet-less because of their circumstances and not because they don’t desperately want animals.
Hobbies
When they are single, people tend to fill their lives up with friends, volunteering, hobbies and work. Yet once you start to date someone seriously you need them to give up some of their activities in order to give your relationship the time and attention it needs to succeed. Some people struggle to do this though and it can cause a lot of heartache.
How to ask this question: Ask your date what the most important things in their life are and try to gauge whether their sports team is always going to be number one in their life.
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