There are maybe's, what haves, should haves, could haves and nothing short
of asking myself that 10 million dollar question.. "Was It Ever Really Real?"
How can one single person bring so much joy into your life, make you feel
as if you were drifting on a cloud and then rain havoc on your world? Why
can't people say what they think, and believe what they feel? Where is
the truth, much less what is the truth? Can truth be found in the world
today?
There are so many people in the world playing games that it is hard to distinguish truth from fiction. It is so easy to believe in some people, because your heart tells you that they are true and worthy. I know that there are those who are true and worthy, but they not only lie to you, but to themselves. They live in worlds prearranged for themselves, by the church, there parents and live everyone else's life for them but never there own. These people can never truly be happy. I know you never lied, I know you only spoke the truth, or what you thought the be at the time, but the truth is a double edged sword. When you kill me you also kill yourself.
My truth is this: I wear my heart on my sleeve where I always
have and I always get hurt. I must say I am glad that is was you.
Things can finally be over for me in my heart and my dreams of
a fairytale love that was suppose to come true years ago shall
now cease to be.
It has been so hard to trust people , but I trusted you with my very life. Maybe, years ago all my dreams could come true, but things are different for you now. I thought that you were my prince charming, strong, viral and would defend my honor at all cost. That you would give me one kiss and I would awake from my slumber. That you would become my prince and I your princess and you would love me until the end of time.
I moved on to a higher ground, seeking refuge from the storm, the storm that came down on me with such a force it left me by the wayside. I was scared, frightened, sick and alone. Everything I once trusted and the person in who I trusted,left me alone to be battered by the storm with no thought of my well being.
I have a future, with no more lost dreams, no more what if's and
wondering time and time again why things didn't work out the
first time. For what it is worth I know the truth or at least I hope
I know the entire truth this time. There are no more rose colored
glasses that I wear. I see the truth for what it is and even though
I do not 100% agree with it, this is my fate.
I am a survivor and I will survive no matter what is thrown at me. No matter how many times a guy breaks my heart. If you break my heart once there may still be a chance, but break it twice and there is no chance at all. Fool me once shame on you, but fool me twice and shame on me. I only trusted you and what you said you wanted,it was your decision to make and you made none. I will not sit alone waiting on a maybe, a could be, but you know and will always know in your heart that it was a should be. A sure thing.
The thing that hurts the most was you could not tell me anything, not by phone or a email you threw me and my dreams straight to hell. You are certainly not the man I thought I knew so well, I could take the truth why didn't you tell me? Everything I know I read between the lines. If you were torn you could have told me so. You could have bowed out gracefully with your head held high and I would have respected you for that. Not knowing anything drove me crazy and I am not one to beg.
Love means never having to say your sorry. Love means putting the one you love first and foremost which you did but then didn't have the guts to tell me.
I am happy for you I really am, but I should have been
able to tell you. May God Bless You! I hold no grudges.
I would have never, ever got hurt if you hadn't said things
to me that you could never mean in a 1000 years
I think the grass is fine where you are at....
Be careful what you wish for, it might just turn and bite you in the ass.
My feelings exactly!
ReplyDelete