Is It Love Or Lust?

Poets and authors have tried to define love for centuries, whereas scientists have only recently started. Many of us know intuitively that love is a major purpose for living; that connection is inherent in all that we do, and without love, we cannot survive as a species.

But what is love, and how do we know when we're in it? First, let's start off with what love isn't.

What Is Love? It Definitely Isn't...

Manipulation. "If you loved me, then you would..." isn't love, but rather infatuation.

Compromising who you are. If someone asks you to do or say something that isn't in your nature, that isn't true love. Although love does involve compromises between partners, someone who is in love with you will never ask you to change who you are in order to be loved.

Violent. Passions can definitely become inflamed with someone you love, but a relationship with physical or emotional violence isn't true love

Question: What is Dating Violence?

Answer:

Dating violence is described by Health Canada (1995) as, "...any intentional sexual, physical or psychological attack on one partner by the other in a dating relationship".

Choking, slapping, hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, threatening with a weapon, confinement and hair pulling all constitute physical abuse, whereas sexual abuse takes place when one person has been forced to have sex or perform sexual acts or attempting to have sex or perform sexual acts with someone under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

Emotional dating violence is somewhat more challenging to define as there are no physical manifestations (i.e. bruises) when emotional abuse occurs. Some types of emotional abuse include insulting, swearing, terrorizing, uttering threats, destroying property, forcing isolation, or being extremely jealous or possessive to the point of where it negatively affects the other person involved in the relationship.

Just lust. Yes, chemistry and physical attraction are important, but true love also includes commitment, trust and respect.