I was inspired by my parents to be creative and I was given many outlets to express myself. From drawing pictures on the wall in my room to racing dirt bikes from the time I was 3 to being taught to play the guitar and other string instruments. I was told I could be anything I wanted to be in life and so I believed it. Now comes the hard part proving it.
I have loved and been loved and there is nothing like it in the world. I hear parents tell there child you are not in love with (him or her) you are too young you don't know shit. This infuriates me and there child shall suffer and make them suffer in the long run by rebelling. Teens do fall in love and in fact adults could learn from this kind of love. The teens love far beyond how grown-up have the capacity to love. The adults have forgotten how to love and are going through the motions of being in love. The adults just say those three precious words with no actions behind them. I am so glad that my parents never told me I wasn't in love, but welcomed Jason with open arms.
I get distracted from my work trying to find a love and make it work. I know that when it is really meant to be it will happen and there will be nothing I can do about it but reciprocate the love given to me and will do so with a glad heart. I have a romantic soul, but I also wear my heart on my sleeve. I tried online relationship, but it is very hard. I find that you can really put your heart on the line with the beautiful words of another and the words can touch you in a place that you never thought possible. But, still I find myself thinking of that person constantly and it clouds my thoughts and can effect my work. My work is important to me and it completes me. It is who I am now. I use to love to define myself as a lady biker and I still am, but it can only free my soul and not pay my bills. To me my work really isn't work at all but an adventure, a purpose and defines who I am.
I have always believed in God and although at times I know I have disappointed him, I know there is nothing I can do or achieve without him. The past few weeks that I have took to find myself I realized I was not alone for the Lord was there with me. I can do all things through him that comforts me, I am his child and nothing shall come between us. I needed a renewed faith. When we find ourselves deep in the valley with no tools to climb out on our own if we turn to the Lord, he shall bring us out of that valley and set us high upon that mountain once more.
Without him I am nothing, but with him I am Everything
This is a good reflective essay, and the sunshine is your beacon. Faith in God is what everyone needs, but just never forget that He let's you make your own choices, right or wrong, and the consequences that become of them. The answer to your dreams and prayers is out their, and I do believe it requires great patience and good choices. I know that losing someone is not your fault, but learning how to live through the pain of loss is part of living, and besides your intelligence and big heart you still have your youth and your beauty. Those are things that many wish they still had. You've got the world by the tail, you just have to convince yourself of that :)
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