I actually came clean today with what makes me tick, my hang ups, my inhibitions, and put it out there for the entire world to see. I am a living survivor with survivors guilt that has ran rampant for years. This is not a easy thing to do to come out and tell everyone your flaws. I have tried to explain myself 1000's of times, but was unsuccessful in doing so. I am a survivor of many things and I shall find a way to overcome this as I do with everything else. But, love is a matter of the heart that you really have no control over. So on this first day of October 2013 I promise myself that I will love myself again. That I will stop blaming myself for Jason's death and that I will try to see him as a common man and not a saint.
I have so much to give and to receive. I haven't allowed anyone to truly love me since I could not find it in me to love myself. I am taking baby steps, since everything I jump into with both feet fails. I want to be a new me the part that I have kept hidden from the world. I should be a academy award winning actress with my stellar performance of the smiling girl that make others laugh and feel good about themselves. Meryl Streep doesn't have a thing on me I tell you.
TODAY I AM ME
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