No Fear

I had a really good day today, and everything went so smoothly at work. It was actually the first day that Jason was not invading my thoughts. I was on the mark as I should be, sharper than a tack and my work was actually enjoyable instead of a chore or work. I had so much energy and no I didn't have a second cup of coffee or a energy drink which is so bad for me."I Know". Yet, coffee and Monster became my best friends during my residency with all the hours I was working.

Today seemed to go by so much faster and I was happy,content and productive. Today my smile was real and I know it showed. It has taken a few days since I let everything go Saturday at the cemetery, since I took down all pictures of Jason and boxed up his jersey's he wore and his letter man's jacket even the fake roses from the convenience store (just Because) since I returned home. They are all boxed up now  where they should have been years ago. I still have everything in case I should want to look at them, but I won't be wearing his jersey's to sleep in anymore. It will be a while before I open up those boxes ( I promised myself a year).

Well enough about that. I am just happy being me. I am looking forward to a long, loving and productive life without any ghost in it. I really looked myself in the mirror and I saw me Amber, not the broken Amber, but the Amber I was before. My Identity I claim. I am Amber Nicole Wilson. I am not broken but strong and I shall show no fear. I am the girl my parents raised. No more sorry's shall you hear from me, for that is a sign of weakness. I am invincible, I am woman hear me roar....