10 Signs You Are In A Rebound Relationship

You try to bump into your ex

Have you ever ‘innocently’ planned a date at a restaurant you used to frequent with your ex or took a romantic stroll past your ex’s workplace with your new partner? No matter how much you try to tell yourself it’s just a coincidence, could it be that you are secretly planning to bump into your ex with your new partner in the hope of making them a teeny bit jealous? While most of us have felt the urge to show our ex what they’re missing, if making your ex jealous is a main motivating factor for your relationship, you are almost definitely on the rebound.

It’s all about the competition

If you view moving on as a competition and are preoccupied with the idea of finding someone new, falling in love and moving on to the next relationship milestone before your ex, then you are most likely on the rebound. While it can be hard to deal with your ex finding someone new while you’re still hurting and single, try to remember that moving on is not a competition you need to “win”. Stop focusing on what your ex is up to and concentrate on your own life, taking things at your own pace.

You need an ego boost

Breakups can be pretty devastating for your self-esteem, particularly if your relationship ended on a bad note, and this is one reason many people try to move on to somebody new quickly. However, it’s important to remember that your new dating partner is not just there to boost your ego. If you have an inkling you are rushing into a new relationship to boost your low self-esteem, it may be time to take some time out from dating to work on your confidence alone.

They don’t match up to your checklist

While it’s perfectly fine (and can even be beneficial) to date against your ‘type’, if you find that you are dating somebody who doesn't have any of the important character traits you’d like your other half to have, it may be that you have fallen into the “anyone is better than no one” mindset in your desperation to get back on the dating scene. If you are of the opinion that anyone will do, it’s safe to say you are in a rebound relationship.

They’re just like your ex

On the other hand, maybe you are dating exactly according to your type, with that type being your ex. If you find others have been commenting on the similarity of your new partner to your ex or you find yourself falling into the exact same relationship pattern you had with your previous partner, this may be a sign you are trying to replace your ex. Rather than rushing into an identical relationship (which clearly didn't work out the first time) take some time to think about what you really want and to properly get over your ex.

You’re moving too fast or too slow

While there are no hard and fast rules about how quickly a relationship should move along, if you find yourself talking about moving in together or thinking of baby names after a couple of weeks, or if you still know next to nothing about your partner months down the line, you could be in a rebound relationship. Trying to fast forward your relationship to the same stage as your last one is a classic sign of a rebound relationship. Alternatively, retaining emotional distance after some time together could be a sign that you view your relationship as something temporary.

You over-share

When you’re getting to know someone new, it is natural to share stories about your past. However, if you find yourself over-sharing details about your ex, it could be a sign that you are not yet over them. While you may feel that you are just being honest and open with your new partner, it should raise a red flag that your former partner is on your mind so much while you are spending time with your new one.

You’re constantly comparing

While you may have refrained from actually talking about your ex, if you find yourself mentally comparing your new partner with your ex all the time, this is another sign you are not over them. While it is good to acknowledge the ways this relationship is better for you than your past one, it is important to appreciate each relationship and person in their own right, rather than constantly holding them up for comparison.

You never really healed

How did you feel before you entered into this new relationship? If you can honestly answer that you were in a happy and emotionally stable place prior to meeting your new partner then this is great news. However, if you feel that you still had some unresolved emotions and hurt from your last relationship, it may be that you are using this relationship to distract yourself so that you don’t have to deal with these negative emotions.

You feel unhappy when you’re alone

If find yourself feeling down, lonely and confused when you are away from your partner, it may be a sign that you have not yet dealt with emotions from your last relationship. Many people rush into new relationships to distract themselves from negative feelings arising from a recent breakup; however spending time with someone new is only a temporary distraction and the feelings are likely to still be there waiting for you to deal with them.