Life's A Beach

Life's A Beach

I awake and wipe the sleep from my eyes, and thank God for a brand new morning. The sound of the coffee maker, the smell of it's aromatic aroma has waken me.  From the shadows that appear to me I can tell I have little time to set up for my day. I go into the bathroom wash my face, slip on my shorts and top and pour myself coffee before walking out onto the balcony. I love to sit on this balcony each morning while having coffee and watch the sun rise with all of it's majestic glory. For here I am very much aware that God is sitting on his throne made of gold looking down upon me. I feel so very close to him as if St. Pete Beach is his heaven upon this earth.

As I sit here I wonder if he finds goodness in me? I realize that he knows the number of hairs upon my head and has known me before I was a twinkle in daddy's eye. I want so much to please God yet I know so many times I fall from grace. All in all I know he knows my heart and he has a plan for me that far exceeds anything I can dream of myself. 

No matter how I feel about the things that Blake and I have been through I know we shall remain friends. It shall be out of the norm for a while to live apart, yet we did not live together that long. I have known him for so long now yet our relationship has been on and off again since last June. Things will be good for us once we find our soul mates and can move into long lasting, loving relationships.

All in all no matter if I get the blues because a relationship has not worked out I can still remain friends with that person. Time I find does not heal broken hearts, but maybe I myself can do better the next time I love. I blame myself because of a past love that will remain with me until my dying breath. Although, I am a kind, compassionate and caring I am not easy to love. I have walls in place that are hard to break through even for the strongest of men. I avoid dating if all possible since I hate putting myself out there knowing eventually I will get hurt.