Happy Halloween

Halloween is my favorite time if the year....

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN

To Have Loved

10 long years I have wasted, and a love so pure I have tasted,

there is nothing sweeter than to love another unconditionally 

even if the love was never returned completely, it is the pain

that cuts so deeply.

If there is no pain or sense of loss how do we understand the 

cost? There is a cost in loving another, either to gain a love 

that will never die or we lose ourselves when our love is

lost forever.

I would rather have loved and lost than to never had loved

at all, for it is love that keeps us human, that keeps us alive

without ever loving, how can we too be loved? 

Always On My Mind

Just when I think I am doing good or think I am well I find myself holding on by a tread. God knows I hate Whiners, but I have found myself doing it a lot lately. To be intelligent I sure can be so stupid. I went home to Georgia to let go of my past. I shared my deepest thoughts and hopes with someone, but they betrayed me. No, no one betrayed me I suppose, but I betrayed myself my trusting enough to confide in them. I admit I myself was the F*ck up. I held onto something far to long and wasn't sensitive to the feelings of others. I knew it wasn't normal to continue to love a dead man the rest of my life.

I simply had a shock this week. Yes, I knew I cared deeply for this person, but there was always Jason and I haven't been able to let go him. I am better yes the past couple of weeks. I put everything of his away. I stopped wearing his football jerseys to sleep in, put all his things and his pictures away, but I f*cked up big time. OMG I wished I hadn't. But, I know now it can never be and it hurt so bad I can barely breathe. OMG I never knew I could truly feel this way about anyone else. We had talked I explained my feelings and my actions and what I was doing. But, I suppose love and life moves on with ya or without ya!For what is worth I am sorry and I regret my past actions. Have a wonderful and blessed life.

♥ For What It's Worth, You Were Always On My Mind ♥

    

5 Highest Paid Doctors in the World (A Blog I Wrote in 2012 Before Obama Care)

People always assume that doctors, regardless of area or specialty, are highly paid individuals that live in mansions, drive luxury cars, and wear expensive clothing. Think again!

Although medicine is a very lucrative profession, there can be quite a huge income disparity between what different doctors earn. After years of intense study at medical school and years spent in residency, doctors are often burdened with hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans. The average medical student can come out with close to $300,000 in debt. That is a lot of money to spend on education, especially when you take into consideration that doctors like pediatricians and family practitioners often less than $100,000 a year.

Skyrocketing professional liability insurance and costs associated with managing a practice can also diminish a doctor’s salary. If you are considering a career in medicine, carefully weigh the pros and cons of different specialties you might find interesting. So who are the five highest paid doctors in the world? After researching different online surveys of various doctors’ salaries, here is a list of the five highest paid doctors in the world. Although the ranking will vary from survey to survey, these listed doctor specialties consistently came in the top five.

1). Orthopedic Surgeon – $315,000 – $519,000

Orthopedic Surgeons are highly training surgeons that perform operations involving the muscular and skeletal system. Orthopedic surgeons often own their own practices and are frequently employed in settings to treat sports-related injuries.

2). Cardiologist – $314,000 – $512,000

Cardiologists are specialists in treating diseases and disorders related to the human heart and cardiovascular system. They are employed by hospitals as well as private clinics. Often, cardiologists can specialize in other areas such as pediatric, invasive, geriatric and neonatal cardiology. Cardiologists also can work as interventionists, helping patients fight heart problems associated with obesity.

3). Radiologist – $315,000 – $507,000

Radiologists are doctors that often diagnose various conditions and diseases using a variety of imaging devices such as x-rays, cat scans, etc. These doctors are also frequently used in cancer treatment facilities to administer radiation therapy.

4). Urologist – $309,000 – $461,000

Urologists specialize in treating diseases and disorders related to the urinary organs. These specialists also help diagnose and treat diseases related to male and female infertility. Often, these doctors are employed in private settings.

5). Anesthesiologist – $309,000 – $362,000

Anesthesiologists are specialists that administer anesthesia and other pain management therapies to patients who are in the process of undergoing surgical treatment. These doctors become familiar with a wide variety of anesthetic treatments and are usually employed in hospital settings where surgical operations are performed.

Although you should not use this information to deter you from pursuing your future medical career, its always intelligent to take into consideration which areas and specialties of medicine will be the most lucrative. No one wants to go through years of school and rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars of student debt to not have it pay off on their paycheck.

 So Yes, With Obama Care Coming Into Effect More Doctor's & Health Care Professional's Will Be Moving To Other Countries, Just Trying To Survive Financially. 

  

Bloody Mary

She lived deep in the forest in a tiny cottage and sold herbal remedies for a living. Folks living in the town nearby called her Bloody Mary, and said she was a witch. None dared cross the old crone for fear that their cows would go dry, their food-stores rot away before winter, their children take sick of fever, or any number of terrible things that an angry witch could do to her neighbors.

Then the little girls in the village began to disappear, one by one. No one could find out where they had gone. Grief-stricken families searched the woods, the local buildings, and all the houses and barns, but there was no sign of the missing girls. A few brave souls even went to Bloody Mary's home in the woods to see if the witch had taken the girls, but she denied any knowledge of the disappearances. Still, it was noted that her haggard appearance had changed. She looked younger, more attractive. The neighbors were suspicious, but they could find no proof that the witch had taken their young ones.

Then came the night when the daughter of the miller rose from her bed and walked outside, following an enchanted sound no one else could hear. The miller's wife had a toothache and was sitting up in the kitchen treating the tooth with an herbal remedy when her daughter left the house. She screamed for her husband and followed the girl out of the door. The miller came running in his nightshirt. Together, they tried to restrain the girl, but she kept breaking away from them and heading out of town.

The desperate cries of the miller and his wife woke the neighbors. They came to assist the frantic couple. Suddenly, a sharp-eyed farmer gave a shout and pointed towards a strange light at the edge of the woods. A few townsmen followed him out into the field and saw Bloody Mary standing beside a large oak tree, holding a magic wand that was pointed towards the miller's house. She was glowing with an unearthly light as she set her evil spell upon the miller's daughter.

The townsmen grabbed their guns and their pitchforks and ran toward the witch. When she heard the commotion, Bloody Mary broke off her spell and fled back into the woods. The far-sighted farmer had loaded his gun with silver bullets in case the witch ever came after his daughter. Now he took aim and shot at her. The bullet hit Bloody Mary in the hip and she fell to the ground. The angry townsmen leapt upon her and carried her back into the field, where they built a huge bonfire and burned her at the stake.

As she burned, Bloody Mary screamed a curse at the villagers. If anyone mentioned her name aloud before a mirror, she would send her spirit to revenge herself upon them for her terrible death. When she was dead, the villagers went to the house in the wood and found the unmarked graves of the little girls the evil witch had murdered. She had used their blood to make her young again.

From that day to this, anyone foolish enough to chant Bloody Mary's name three times before a darkened mirror will summon the vengeful spirit of the witch. It is said that she will tear their bodies to pieces and rip their souls from their mutilated bodies. The souls of these unfortunate ones will burn in torment as Bloody Mary once was burned, and they will be trapped forever in the mirror.

Bloody Mary Returns: When her evil stepmother kills both her brothers, a young girl must fight for her life using every resource she has at her disposal.

Ghost Stories Video's "Happy Halloween"

Below is The Video Of A Caller From The Video Above ...Creepy!

Why I Never Let Go...

After the blogs I just researched and wrote I realize why I have been on a emotional roller coaster with my grief for so long. Yes, After the deaths of mama and Jason within a short period of time, I simply never dealt with it. If I dealt with their deaths I would have to admit that they were both gone and I was all alone. I would have to let go of all the hopes and dreams and plans that Jason and I had for our futures together. I would have to give up the man of my dreams, my prince charming, my best friend and my soul mate. How could I ever imagine letting him go for I would lose a part of myself.

Yes, I saw a psychiatrist which prescribed 50mg of Zoloft for me that gave me diarrhea, dry mouth and made me gain weight. I also saw a therapist for a short while as well. Anyone that knows me knows I hate to take medicine so I came off the Zoloft after a month or so since it wasn't helping me. But, I kept myself busy with work and school and did my best not to think about my losses. I was then living in a dorm with 3 other roommates and I shut myself off from them as well. I never dated and when I was attracted to a man I felt that I was cheating on Jason. I know in my spare time I would go by the liquor store and by me a 5th of Jack Daniels and would sit there and drink until I passed out. Since I was in a dorm it was as if I was never alone to grieve and I wasn't going to be the cry baby of the room. That was when I needed to grieve and couldn't.

My daddy is a biker that demands respect and I couldn't be me around him. I found myself saying I am sorry about every little thing to people and he would say you have done nothing to them so don't say "Sorry" it is a sign of weakness. Yet I feel I have so much too be sorry for sometimes. I know I took care of my mama yet although I was there taking care of her as her caregiver I felt I never did enough. May if I did this or that I would have made it easier for her. Or I forgot to tell mama this or that and I hope she knows how much I love her. Then with Jason the same things really if I was out front on my bike he would never had hit that deer. At one time so I didn't have to explain what happen to him over and over to people I said he had a brain tumor and made it a rare form of cancer so people would let it go. I lied and I hate lying but every new person I had to tell I had to relive it all over again. I thought about it enough. Still to this day I remember the last time I told Jason I loved him was at a red light. I was constantly telling mama because I knew she was dying, but I didn't get that with Jason.

I know everyone that reads this must think that I am crazy or unstable and I can just add I feel that I am sometime. Lord knows I don't always get my way, but I have bargained for years with him just to give them back to me. I even wonder sometimes still if I am even lovable? I met someone, but I am not good enough for them and they deserve much better than me. I know that with all my heart. Being alone is best for me or for now anyway.