For A Friend!

I am writing this for a dear friend. A dear friend that has been with me through my heartache this week. It wasn't phone calls since all I could do was cry and no one can understand a word I say while I am blubbering. Anytime I logged into facebook which was not that much at all there this person was with a kind word and seemed to know how I felt and why I could be so affected by both my mama and my soul mate Jason's death anniversary. Each year I tell my self I will not allow myself to let my emoticons get the best of me, but the day arrives and I am overcome with sadness.This person sat and talked to me for hours on IM and knew exactly what to say, when to say it and when to back off!

This song goes out to my friend!

  

The One

While I may be a very stubborn realist at heart, instead of scoffing at the usual cliché saying about how there's always 'The One' person for you, me and everyone else in this world, I choose to firmly believe in it.

I mean, it'd be a sadistic sort of personal satisfaction if I could prove it otherwise, but there's just too many living examples floating about in huge happy bubbles right in front of my eyes for me to not acknowledge the truth in that statement. My way of perceiving it, however, evolved as I get older, and also after going through a few heartfelt experiences that, hmmm, hit really close to home..?

The One was initially what I'd like to think of as someone who already co-exists with me in this world, and it is only a matter of whether I'd have the chance to be able to someday, somewhere, find him and live happily ever after woohoo! *throws confetti*

Ahem, that was very cliché.

On the other hand, how I actually perceive things in current times is a different concept that's skews slightly closer to my kind of reality, with more complicated mechanics, unfortunately.

The One that I believe in now, doesn't necessarily already exist in this world for you to coincidentally stumble upon on a fine, sunny day; he or she will eventually exist through the intense confirmation and commitment towards the relationship that you have with them, and the magnitude of effort that you're willing to put in to make things work until the very end.

They come into existence because you truly, and wholeheartedly want them to be, and nothing else that is otherwise.

Being there for those who helped us

I have been blessed with allot of wonderful friends... I've shared that before. I love my friends, and am always there to help in whatever they need. We know each other differently, all the 'good' and all the 'fun' in each other. We enjoy each other's company, and spend time together that we sometimes take for granted.
When we find ourselves or someone we love is suddenly faced with an illness that we think will never hit that close to home, that feeling of helplessness is almost too much to bare. We think that we're, somewhat, invincible.... that we're too strong to have such a devastating illness.

The emotions of discovering such an illness in someone you are so close to, are immeasurable.... you dwell on the realization that a best friend that you always call whenever you want to take a spontaneous road trip.... one who you know will always have your back... one who will keep your secrets.... one who understands you when no one else will.... is facing something that NOBODY should have to face.

It's not fair!!

But God is good, and He will get us through things that we don't understand. I will do whatever I can for my friend, and most of all, I will pray... ALLOT! It's been a very emotional day for me, so if some of this doesn't make sense... it's okay, it doesn't really have to, right now.

I just felt I needed to write something. Thanks for reading it.

8 WAYS TO GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE

Alright pretty ladies, I'm going to share with you 8 ways to get out of the friend zone. We all have those cute guy friends that we wish would see us as more than an asexual person they hang with, but have no idea how. It's so frustrating when all you want is the guy who calls you to go grab a beer to actually mean it as a date instead of as just "one of the guys." The following ways to get out of the friend zone are going to help you shine in a new light to these men, and who knows, maybe even score you someone you had put in the friend zone yourself.
1. SHOW YOU ARE WANTED

This is the basic and most primal instinct for men. All a guy wants to see about a girl is that other men find her attractive, and want to pursue her. Once this happens, the natural competitive factor kicks, whether guys realize it or not. Just showing you are wanted by other men is a simple way to get out of the friend zone. Go out to a bar, play a game of dodgeball, go hang with your "friend" and his friends, just make sure to flirt it up with anyone who tries to hit on you! The attractive factor is not that important, the key is just igniting the caveman in your friend.


2. DON'T MAKE THE EFFORT

Girls, you don't want to be obvious that you want your guy friend. Blowing up his phone to hang out or talk is not the best way to win a guy over. If you didn't care if he thought you were crazy or obsessive, sure, constantly see what he is doing every night of the week. Let him come to you, and ask you to hang out. If he wants to talk to you about his about problems, or what is going on his life, let him. Make sure you don't over load him on your issues. Use every other friend you have but him, to talk about your life.


3. KEEP SEX LIFE OUT OF CONVERSATION

First off, listening to him talk about the girls he has been sleeping with doesn't make you feel good, so why be that ear for him to talk off? Don't let him know you don't want to hear about his love life, because he will know the answer to why before he even asks you. This goes for you also. Don't think talking about that amazing date you went on will make him jealous. He is a guy, he really doesn't care. If you keep love life out of the friendship topics of conversation, he will always have a curiosity about your dating life. Keeping that hint of mystery is important to men. It lets them fantasize, wonder if you would be good in bed or not, think about what you are into or not into romantically. A guy hearing about your dates will automatically let them know where you stand on skill and promiscuity levels depending how long your relationship with those partners last.


3. KEEP SEX LIFE OUT OF CONVERSATION

First off, listening to him talk about the girls he has been sleeping with doesn't make you feel good, so why be that ear for him to talk off? Don't let him know you don't want to hear about his love life, because he will know the answer to why before he even asks you. This goes for you also. Don't think talking about that amazing date you went on will make him jealous. He is a guy, he really doesn't care. If you keep love life out of the friendship topics of conversation, he will always have a curiosity about your dating life. Keeping that hint of mystery is important to men. It lets them fantasize, wonder if you would be good in bed or not, think about what you are into or not into romantically. A guy hearing about your dates will automatically let them know where you stand on skill and promiscuity levels depending how long your relationship with those partners last.


5. BE UNAVAILABLE

When a guy asks you to hang out, tell him you have plans. Be too busy to hang with him more often than not. Let him realize other people want you around them, and you aren't at his beck and call. You just became ten times more appealing to him because you now are a chase, wanted by others, and making him feel and be unimportant. Have the ball in your court when it comes to making plans. Go ahead and even ignore his texts. You can respond in a few days when you are ready to go out with him. Make sure to not come off prissy and throw it in his face that so and so wants to hang out. It's not attractive. Remember, you are a woman of mystery! It gives the guy a chance to realize how much he enjoys your company when you aren't there to give it to him all the time.


6. BE THE COOL GIRL

Guys love when their friends like their girl friends, besides "girlfriends." When you are hanging out with your crush, make sure to really connect and bond with his friends. Join into their group, that way next time all of them are together you are talked about in a positive light. They may even decide they want you to come hang out with them, except you will be too busy sticking to rule number 5 in this article. When you hang out with your guy friend one on one, focus more on being able to have great conversations about topics he enjoys. It's important to put more emphasis on that when wanting to become more then friends. Men bond over connection so check out some of the stats on his favorite sport team, look up a new beer that just came out, or see the latest movie he was raving about.


7. BODY LANGUAGE

When trying to win a guy over I always recommend using body language to show your interest. In this case, the body language you want to use is very introverted. Make sure there isn't physical touching. When you speak with him keep one shoulder in and one shoulder out. It shows you are listening, but you are still able to leave if uninterested. When you laugh together, turn your head to look around. Focusing on other people and objects in the room shows him you aren't that interested in whatever he is saying. When saying goodbye, if you hug make sure it is quick. Don't do any kissing on the cheek and part fast. This will all throw him for a loop, especially if you have been the shoulder touching, leaning in to him, 100% focus on him, kind of girl.


8. HOW YOU DRESS COUNTS

You probably haven't thought that much about how you look when just hanging with the boys. Of course, you want to look cute and impress him, but this is the time where how you dress and when you wear it is important. If you are going out with the boys to see a movie, get some wings, do a happy hour during the week, sexy casual is key here. Never look like you tried too hard when the place you're going to looks like it didn't try hard to impress you. But, when that weekend comes around, doll yourself up to the dime! Let him realize you are one hot lady ready to go out on her night. This way it doesn't look like you are trying to impress him, it just goes with a natural Friday or Saturday night. How a guy first sees you is pretty much the picture that stays in his head until you do something to change that. So every time you go out with him he still sees that girl he first met. But if you trick his brain into seeing someone new, a different girl than he is used to, he will be seeing you in a new light.

The good news is that with all these techniques you are bound to turn one friend into a lover. The difference between guys and girls is that once a girl puts a guy in the friend zone, he is for the most part never sexually thought about. A guy, no matter how far in the friend zone you are, will always think about sex with you. It is in their human nature. So ladies, use these ways to get out of the friend zone and let me know which ones worked best for you!

12 Signs Your Crush Would Be a Good Boyfriend

1. HE’S THE SILENT PARTNER

Let me fill you in on a little secret, from someone who has been there; there are usually two types of guys in each group… the smooth operators and the silent partners. Trust me, 9 out of 10 times, the silent partner makes the better boyfriend. The smooth operator is usually the ringer (i.e. the guy who gets all the girls with his smooth talk and rambunctious personality), and while they might seem like they’re more fun, they are also total players for the most part. Let’s face it, they’re great at flirting and are likely that way with every girl they meet. The silent partner, on the other hand, usually waits for his friend to bring the girls in, decides if he is interested, and takes his time in asking you out. He’s more reserved and probably doesn't date as much, but when he finds the right girl, his personality warms up and he usually isn't interested in dating around, making him an ideal candidate for a relationship.


2. HE GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SEE YOU

One of the most obvious signs your crush would make a good boyfriend is his willingness to meet you on your turf. Anyone can stop by your place when he is in the area, but a real indication that it will grow into a lasting relationship is whether or not he goes the extra mile (literally). Admittedly, this isn't always easy to do, especially if your crush lives far away or they have a demanding work schedule, but at the end of the day, relationships are based on a mutual desire to be together, and there will always be challenges to keep you apart. If he’s not able to overcome those bumps in the road from the get-go, there’s a good chance he won’t ever be.


3. HE MAKES AN EFFORT WITH YOUR FRIENDS

Okay, he is crazy about you, but can he handle your gal pals? Let’s face it, if you’re going to be in a relationship with this person, he really needs to be able to at least get along with your friends. Oftentimes, good guys can find it difficult to be uber sociable around a group of girls, so don’t fret if he isn't Mr. Sociable when he is the only dude. Instead of throwing your crush in the lions den to see how he does, organize a little outing with a mixed group of guys and girls so he doesn't feel so awkward, then see how he does.


4. HE’S KEEN ON MEETING YOUR PARENTS

Guys are not going to put themselves through the ringer (i.e. your dad’s crushing handshake that let’s your crush know he means business) if they’re not serious about dating you. One of the easiest ways to tell if your guy is going to make a good boyfriend is whether or not he wants to meet your parents or not. It’s best to wait a few dates before subjecting him to an entire evening with the folks, but if he’s showing signs of disinterest in meeting them after more than 5 or 6 dates, kick him to the curb. Blood is thicker than water, you don’t want to waste your time with someone who isn't going to be cool with the family.


5. HE ENCOURAGES YOUR DREAMS AND AMBITIONS

You’re good at what you do and know what you want out of life, and that might not always be reflected in what you’re current occupation, salary or job title. Dating someone who is not only understanding of that, but believes in what you are trying to accomplish can be a large factor in whether you make it as a couple or not. A man who encourages and even challenges you is better than gold, hang on to him! On the other hand, if he is condescending--even just to the point of making little jabs or jokes-- about your dreams now, it’s unlikely he will ever be supportive towards your drive in the future.


6. HE’S NOT SHY ABOUT PUBLIC AFFECTION

A great way to tell if your crush would make a good boyfriend is his body language toward you when you’re out in public. No, I’m not referring to him trying to hook up with you in a movie theater. Does he grab for your hand while you’re walking, or perhaps wrap his arm around you while you’re waiting in line at a restaurant? If so, it’s his way of telling you that he is proud to be seen with you, and probably interested in a long-term relationship with you.


7. HE’S A GENTLEMAN AROUND YOU, EVEN IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS

Guys really know how to turn on the charm when they want something, but very few are going to keep up that front when they are around their own group of friends. How your crush treats you when he’s around his buddies is a great indicator of how he’s going to act when the front comes down. If he’s a bit shy about kissing you or holding your hand, it’s not a totally done deal, he might just be a little more reserved about PDA – which is not necessarily a bad thing. But if he turns into a complete douche canoe, it’s time to move on!


8. HE DOESN'T PLAY GAMES

As much as we loved playing Candy land, Twister, and Pretty Pretty Princess when we were younger (okay, we still like them), no one is interested in playing games with someone they actually like. When you first start dating someone, you may want to test the waters and see how you feel about them as much as they do, but if after 4 or 5 dates they are still playing Hide-and-Seek with you, it’s clear they aren't that interested. If your crush always calls when he says he is going to, doesn't cancel dates with you (unless it’s an emergency of course), and always arranges the next time you will see each other, he will definitely keep that up in a relationship. And, let’s be honest, every girl wants a boyfriend she can depend on.


9. HE SURPRISES YOU WITH GIFTS

It’s great when you meet someone showers you with Tiffany’s, but even better when your crush finds sentimental ways to let you know he is thinking of you. Maybe he knows you have an affinity for Pez and surprises you with a dispenser, or leaves you little notes in your locker. This kind of thoughtfulness is one of the best indications that he would make a great boyfriend. Note: don’t judge too much on what the gift is, it’s less about what they bring and more about the fact that he is thinking of you on a regular basis.


10. HE'S OUTSIDE OF HIS COMFORT ZONE FOR YOU

A family member once told me that the way she knew her now husband was going to make a great boyfriend was the fact that he went ice-skating with her. Doesn't sound all that fantastic, until you imagine him falling all over the place while she whisked on by like Kristy Yamaguchi. If your crush is willing to do an activity with you that is completely outside of his comfort zone, it’s a good sign he cares more about making you happy than being comfortable himself, a fantastic quality to make a relationship last.


11. HE’S GENUINE AND MODEST

No one is perfect, I’ll take a guy who is real any day over someone who is all about looking good on paper. If your crush underplays the thoughtful things he does, it’s usually a good sign that this is his usual behavior, which is a great attribute to have in a boyfriend. If he makes a big deal about what he does for you, it’s likely that even he recognizes that this is abnormal behavior and it will likely stop the moment you are in the relationship.


12. HE’S A GOOD FRIEND TO OTHERS

How your crush treats his friends can be a great example of how loyal he would be as a boyfriend. If you already have an established friendship with your crush, pay attention to how he treats your friendship… is he a shoulder to cry on when you need it? Do you enjoy just hanging out with him when you have no makeup on with your hair in a messy ponytail? These are all things that you will likely want in a relationship down the road, so if you’re crush is already a stellar friend, he will likely make a great boyfriend!

There are several signs to watch for when you start dating someone to see if they’d make a good boyfriend. While he may not have all of the them covered, the more of these qualities your crush has, the more likely he is to not just become your boyfriend, but to make a good boyfriend… one that you’ll want to keep around for awhile. Have a stellar boyfriend already? What signals did he give early on to let you know he would make a good bf?

That's What Friends Are For...

Acquaintances...Real friends...Benefit friends...Best...Intimate friends...Good friends...

Dione Warwick, Stevie Wonder, Elton John and Gladys Knight had a huge hit, "That's what friends are for".  

Of late, I've been thinking a lot about he meaning of friendship.   The investments we make are often irreplaceable, but sometimes they get lost in time.  

To me friendships are bridges.  I honestly believe that every connection happens for a reason.  Some are meant to take you from one place to another, in your life.  Some carry you the miles that life has to offer.  At times they are like a oneway street, with both people heading in the same direction.   Sometimes the relationship is like a super highway with one person surpassing the other; At other times you head in different directions and sadly endings.       

There are friend's that show up just when they need you.

 Friend's you've had for a lifetime.

Friend's who have your back.

There has to be chemistry.  Some you fall in love with for  a lifetime.

Friendships are often imbalanced and based on need.  Ultimately they are necessary, unique, non transferable and aid in a desire to be loved.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Being a friend is easy whenever times are good.

Sometimes we grow massive amounts of friends

 when we give freely of our gifts.

A true friend is someone who will stick by you 

even when times are tough 

and there are no freebies in sight.

This is the kind of friend to encourage

 and the kind of friend we should be.

"The only way to have a friend is to be one ."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

To My Dear Friend From Germany, Always Remember I Love You

I am very concerned for a dear friend that I have only known online for the last 10 years, for you see he lives in Germany and I live in the States. I promised I would not write about him so I must withhold his name to protect my promise to him. I have so many emails so I hate to even go in there to look for something from him, but I have prayed that I will hear from him on facebook. I do not have that much time to be online and I pray that he will contact me soon.

This guy is the nicest guy you would ever care to meet. He is loving and caring and has so many friends because he is so special. I love him so much and he is the best friend I have ever had. Please be well my dear friend and please know that I love you. 

Your Friend Always/Love & Prayers