I once thought that life as I knew it was over, I was lost without you, I needed you, I talked to you as if you were still here. I asked your opinions about everything that pertained to my life. You were gone to me forever yet my heart still held on for dear life. As long as you were still in my life I was safe and nothing could ever harm me. As long as I held on to a us there could never be anyone else. I pushed people away and held them at bay. I was content to be together just you and I if only in the dreams of my heart.
I am writing this since it has been a week since I let go of you out in that Georgia cemetery. I thought that I would just not think of you again, but we both know that is impossible. So just like a alcoholic or a junkie that counts down the days of there sobriety I too will count the days since I let go. That I let go of you so that I could live.
I have to admit that I catch myself thinking of you, but then I quickly do something to keep my mind occupied and the thoughts soon cease. I haven't been on facebook that much since I am using this time for me to heal. Last week at work went well and I was able to completely focus on my task at hand. It is so good to be back to work and to feel as if I am needed and appreciated. The nights are not so long anymore and I am not checking the alarm every hour to see if it is time to get up yet.
I FEEL AT PEACE
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