My life finally feels as though it is on track not so much that I am dating, but I am finally getting out of the house and living life to the fullest. No wondering what I am going to do with myself on my days off, since I already have something planned. To enjoy someone's company, and they yours matters more than we think could possibly think when we are sitting home alone. I am still a hopeless romantic, that believes in the power of love and the happily ever after (some call bull shit.) I know this will not happen to me all at once, but when two people finally decide they cannot live without each other. I believe there is someone out there that I could make happy, and they would to feel as though they could not breathe without me in there life. They to would want nothing more than to make me happy. Life doesn't always work out as we wished it would, but I feel if we are patient and wait God will send us our soul mate in his time.
Life is good for me now, I am happy and content with the knowledge that all the bad things in my life are in the past now.(Where I needed to put them years ago). There can be nothing left for me but blue skies and sunshine now. I love feeling this way, something I have not felt in years. I am eager to wake up and start my day after finally sleeping eight hours.(Something unheard of for me since I only slept three to four hours a night). I am focused and precise in my work and my colleagues are noting a difference in my work, appearance and demeanor. I was always spreading smiles and sunshine at work, but for several months I had truly lost my bright and perky demeanor.These are the things people love about me, and that I can keep them laughing,but my light went out for a little while. But, it's back now.
Life is too short to hide under a rock waiting for the right moment to emerge. Life is meant to be lived. Life is meant to me lived to the fullest. If we happened to hide under a rock we will eventually stay there never to emerge and claim the precious life given to us.Believe me it is hard to trust again, but I must to live a happy productive life regardless of the past. Hindsight is 20/20 so easy to see the mistakes that we ourselves made along the way. We can blame others since they hurt us and our pride, yet we were the fool for believing in a dream, but truly for believing in them. You have to trust people you can see, you know, and never dream of what might be. I learned the hard way, but really we must learn to forgive those who despitefully use us. This is baggage we cannot hold on to. This is baggage that we must let God deal with for we are weak in the flesh. On a more positive note: I forgive you!
I now seek out happiness in all things under the sun. I know that where my past is now= In the past where it belongs. There are people that I shall never forget in my life, most of them made me the person I am today. I learned very valuable lessons that shall follow me all the days of my life. I learned that when life throws you off you have to get back on the horse and ride. I learned that each step in our lives are stepping stones and it how we react to losses, or lost love that will finally ground us and place our foot firmly on the rock. I climbed out of that valley victorious through Jesus Christ our Lord.
I have no regrets. I regret nothing about the persons I loved and lost. If it was suppose to be so then God would had intervened and made it so. I carried around regrets for years, but I know there was nothing else I could do. To those I loved I did the best I possibly could for you, and I loved you with every fiber of my being. It is time for me to live again. I cannot change the way things worked out, if I could I would had. I can only let go until I see you again.
"GOD BLESS "
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