Wednesday, September 19, 2012

No Worries

Been a while since I blogged, but I lost my muse again ;)

Nothing much going on here with me, since I am single and some what
keeping to myself. I went out last weekend after traveling into the city,
but what was a good night for me turned into a disaster and I lost a friend. 
There have been so many things that have not went my way, but I have not
blamed others for my own mistakes. 

I have had tragedy in my life, but crawled out of that hole I placed my own
self in and went on with life. I cannot blame God, my family, friends etc. for
things beyond my control. Life does not stand still, it does not wait on you
it revolves just as the earth and it doesn't matter if you are on board or not
it will go on with or without you. I chose to live, to my my life the best that 
it can possibly be. 

In a way I am old fashioned when it comes to relationships. I do not mess 
with married men or men that are in long term relationships with women. 
I would not want some woman to mess with my man, so I refuse to mess 
with someone else man. I will never allow myself to come in second in a 
man's life. If I cannot rate number one in someones life then they are 
not worth wasting my time on. 

So I choose to be single. Being single is not the worse thing that could 
happen to someone, being with someone and being miserable is. I am
happy. I don't have to worry about cooking large meals, washing extra
clothes, and I can sleep all over the bed and there is no one to complain. 
I can come and go as I like and not have a jealous man question me
about my every move. Oh and by the way it does take a hour to go
to the grocery store and back. 10 to 15 min there and then back 
and then finding everything you need takes that long. 

I have a lot of work to do and no time for a man at this point in 
my life. If I am meant to be with someone I am sure that God 
will send him to me and I will know. You can love and never
be loved in return, but I am not worried about it in the least.
Love is spontaneous and comes around when you least expect 
it. If you dwell on finding love it will never come your way. 

I am happy, content and need no one to validate me as a
woman, for I am woman. A woman that is a survivor, fighter,
and happy in my own shell. I will never give up, I will never
give in, my morals are who I am and I would never be me
without them. I refuse to worry about what things might have
been, but focus on a future that I see as bright.

I AM ME! 
I AM WOMAN!
I WILL NEVER CHANGE,
BUT WILL REMAIN THE SAME      


Sunday, September 2, 2012

Life As I See It For Now


I  have amazed myself at how good I did at work this week. I would be lying if I said 
I had not been some what distracted by thoughts of you but I expected that to still
happen some until my heart and mind releases you completely. I know that you 
also have many things going on and do not need me to detract you as well. I so much
want your life to work out and I know it is better with out me in it. I know you'll 
understand that it is nothing personal just the fact that we both need our time to
make our own ways in life. 

You are happy and have such an amazing network of family and friends and as long as
you are happy I am happy also. You are an amazing person and I have been so very 
blessed to have had you in my life if for a short while. 

I am so busy what with my job, my diet, workouts, my babies and taking care and making
my house a home that I have no time for nothing else. My life is so hectic and I really have no
time for facebook and blogger that I cannot see me doing this much longer. I am happy with 
my life just the way it is..Single and sticking to it. It is not so bad being single. In a couple of 
years I will go to the lab and use my eggs I have back home in storage. I will pick a genius
donor and I will have a baby all by myself and raise it so. I do not have to have the craziness 
of a baby daddy.;) 

I love my life now with no dreams or expectations. I can be a good Dr and live life doing what 
I love. Believe me I am happy and looking back now wouldn't have it any other way. I have 
been shown that life is good and what you make of it. Should I decide to settle down ever I
shall choose wisely.