Trusting Others

Every single person in your entire life will, at some point or another, disappoint you.

This is inevitable. No one is perfect. No one is capable of reading your mind. No one is 100% capable of meeting every need you have, at every moment you have them. We know this, because you are not perfect. You are not capable of reading anyone else's mind. You are not capable of meeting every need anyone else has, at every moment they have them.

What is true about us is also true about everyone else. And when this is the case, and we are flawed beings, that means everyone else is flawed. Which means, at some point, you're going to trust someone to do something and they are going to fail you.

Relationships, therefore, are built on two things: how often this happens, and the reason why.

If someone disappoints you a lot, and they don't seem to care, they're a pretty miserable friend. In fact, it's likely they're not a friend at all, and you're throwing yourself away on that person, like spending good money after bad on a car that simply will not work.

If someone disappoints you a lot, but they don't mean to and they feel bad about it, you're at fault for trusting someone to do something they're incapable of doing.

If someone is reliable for the most part, and then one day fails you and feels terrible about it, you have to decide if you're going to hold that against them or get past it and give them another chance. If it happens again, the same way, you have to figure out if you're willing to live with that one person never being able to step up for that one thing and always feeling terrible about it.

And of course, there are strata of circumstances in varying degrees of both trust and concern between (and beyond) those above. And in every single circumstance, one thing is consistent: you.

You have to be able to make the decisions on what to do in every case. You have that control. If you stand back and think "well, I can't do better than this man who says he loves me but beats me" or "I love her, despite the fact that she's disgusting and nasty and mean and what can I do?" Or "He was supposed to get me a job with that company, and because he didn't, I can't be a [whatever]" -- Well, you're in control of that feeling, right then and there. You're making a decision via apathy or despair or loneliness. But you're still making the decision.

At the end of the day, you are responsible for how you feel. You cannot outsource your emotions; no one else can feel what you feel for you, and thus they are not responsible for your emotional state. That doesn't mean they aren't wrong when they fail you, and it doesn't mean that someone's hateful, selfish or negligent behavior should go without consequence. But how you feel about it? That's all on you.

And it's going to suck when someone fails you -- I'm not saying that you shouldn't be sad, angry or disappointed. You have to be if you're human and not a sociopath. What I am saying, though, is that you can't carry that feeling around with you and have it affect your life in a destructive manner. You cannot give up on life and point to the person that disappointed you at some point and say "It's their fault." You have to get up and eat breakfast and get dressed and live out your day, day to day, no matter who disappoints you, where when or why.

Giving up on anything because someone else failed you isn't their fault -- it's yours. It's your life. Other people are aspects of your experience. Don't make them responsible for your successes, failures, feelings and emotions.

Reality

 

I have a dream of the sun always shining.

Of smiles

Of laughing

I have a dream of the snow melting.

Of the sneers and frowns dying

Of all sorrows vanishing

I have a dream of the wind blowing.

Of removing all worries

Of everyone relaxing

I had a dream.

Then I awoke.

SHAME ON YOU!

It seems as if the last few weeks have been a reminder that you cannot trust people, 

even people you think you know so well. People you think are the most honest, caring

and reliable people you have ever known are liars and cheats. You have no idea about

people until you have been burned by them. I was hurt more than I have ever been 

hurt in my entire life, and I lost a friendship over it. 

I pray that I will learn to trust again, but I think I will always proceed with caution.

This has made me bitter and cold, something I have never been before. I have been 

mad or had my feelings hurt before, but this has almost destroyed me. This person

knows my pain from my past and yet feels they must get there turn at bat or 

drive the nail in a little deeper. 

I refuse to be hurt, I have gave it all to God. I am a firm believer in Karma and

so I know things will turn on them in the end for hurting me so. I have always

been a trusting person and one who cares probably too deeply. Yet, I am a

survivor and I will get though this as I have every other pain that has came

my way. 

Shame on you! Shame on you for the lies you told and for hurting me!

I Am Thankful For All My Blessings

I am thankful for my many blessings and they are many. Like so many people I get bogged down

by life and therefore when I whine about being hurt by people I must sound as if I am not completely thankful for this life in which I lead. But, that couldn't be further from the truth. I thank God each and everyday for his many blessings he has bestowed upon me. I know where my blessings come from and I am thankful. Without God in my life there would be no blessings to speak of. I know that each person has to live there life and some do without God in it, but knowing God helps you see each new blessing as it arrives.

This last year has been a wake up call for me as far as romance and trusting people, but I am hopeful that God will help me over come this. I am still blessed to have lived and loved and we learn from the mistakes that we make. 

I am Thankful for my family, friends and each new breath I take

I am thankful for Bentley, Cara and Orion for they are my best 

friends and my babies. I am thankful for my Georgia Home and

my home here in Baltimore. I am Thankful that I have plenty to

eat and shelter from the storm. I am most thankful for my job and

the children I care for. I am thankful that I am able to do what I 

love and my reward is that of babies and children getting well and

going home. My list is endless for I have so much to be thankful for

and I count each blessing daily. 

I pray that you to can count your blessings

God Bless

&

Happy Thanksgiving  

  

LIFE

I know I sound critical and broken down by life, yet life ain't going to whip my ass. I have many more miles ahead of me and and I shall not be removed from life by simple heartaches. I have a feeling there will be many more heartaches to go before this life is over. 

I am always thought to be the heart breaker, but truth be know I intimidate men. They think they want me, and then they have no clue how to treat me. I will not come in a mere second to anyone. Most men do not approach me out of fear of being shot down. Then there are those who think because I am from the South they are so much better than I am.   

News flash, not to toot my own horn but I am so much better than the men that come my way.

WORD OF ADVICE

It is the people that you think you know best that completely and utterly  blow you out of the water. The people that you trusted the most that take advantage you. The people who say they love and respect you that will show you what love is not. How can you trust people who lie to you? Thing is once you have been burned you learn not to play with fire anymore. Life is so full of surprises and the players are getting harder to read. The players in the game are the ones you least suspect 

Seems everyone has an agenda and the players look like the people you have known for years.

The same people that say they love you will stab you in the heart and flee the scene. Why can't people be truthful and honest to you and themselves? Believe it or not the sharks are always circling to see who they can devour. 

Trust issues , yes I have them. Even more so now that I have been attacked in a surprise attack. I cannot even trust myself to make wise decision that pertains to my life any longer. I will survive as I always do, but the scars will be there for life now. 

WORD OF ADVICE: 

TRUST NO ONE! 

"The Raggedy Girl"

The Raggedy girl, sits in her raggedy world, dreaming of a life that  sparkles and gleams.

these are only things that she dare dream. But Raggedy girls life is that of a servant for the 

Queen……

 To sweep up ashes of others is Raggedy Girl’s  duty..

To clean up all the dreams of the privileged her fate…

The dreams that do not come true for the privileged all fall into ashes  upon the ground….

Raggedy girl  is the keeper of the ashes….

Each time there is heartache and grief  upon the privileged it is Raggedy girls job to clean them up…

Each time Raggedy girl is called upon she  sweeps each heartache carefully under the rug for it to return no more to plague the privileged….

Raggedy girl can not be seen or heard in this manor high upon the hill for it would break all the rules….

As soon as her task is finished she must return to the dark, cold dungeon in which she dwells…..

Raggedy girl can only dream of a life, simple but bright, one where she can feel the sun upon 

Her face and the wind in her hair. …..

The Raggedy girl has a dream, Oh but will it ever come true? …..

Also in her dream she dreams of a man, a simple man , but to Raggedy girl he is a prince (her prince charming)… 

Oh, does Raggedy girl dare dream of a real life? ………….

Is Raggedy girl entitled and worthy for all her dreams to come true?…. 

She cannot help herself for she can only imagine a life other than the one she is living…..

Oh’  how could Raggedy girl possibly escape this dungeon  in which she dwells and become free….

This is Raggedy Girl dream each and every night as she lies upon her bed…..

Raggedy girl must escape before it is too late…

On this night she puts a plan in motion, her heart beats fast and her pulse quickens at the very thought…

Raggedy girl must make her escape tomorrow night if she is to live…

She makes her plans to sneak down the corridor, hiding in the shadows along the long endless hallway all

The way to the door that she once saw and to make sure the door is not locked, if the door is locked she does not know what she will do. The more plans Raggedy girl makes for her escape she is plagued by nervousness and anxiety. She starts to remind herself of all the things that could happen if her escape is not successful. She finally drifts off to sleep and her prince charming is there (Come, he says) (Come) ( Come to Me Raggedy girl. 

As she awakes she wonders if she really had made plans to leave tonight or was it just part of her dream?….    

She knows that the plans are well thought out and she just pretends to think of the plans as dreams for she is truly terrified to carry out the task. This is real, this is what she wants with every fiber of her being. She just has to carry out her escape tonight as she planned. …..

This day was the longest day in Raggedy girls had every remembered. There was no heartache or grief on this day so Raggedy girl was not beckoned all day, all seemed haughtily quite in the manor today. Raggedy girl sit on her bed and  thought of this for the first time, if my escape is successful what happens then? What will I do? Where Will I go? Will I be able to survive in a world with no one? She wondered are there other Raggedy girls in the world like me? Has others worked as a service to others all there lives and never had a real life of there own? Where will she sleep at least she has a bed and food here. Will she find these things in the world? Where will this man in her dreams be? Will she be able to find him? What will she do if she cannot find him? Does he really exist? …..

It is the hour for Raggedy girl departure from this place, the only place she has ever known. It is dark very dark, but a dim gleam of light beckons to her in the night and shines just enough for her to see. Raggedy girl opens her door, the only door she has ever known that has held her here for as long as she remembers. She opens the door quietly, but  her hand shakes as she does so. …..

Once in the corridor she lets out a sigh, but the worse is yet to come, she feels it deep within and starts to shake. She tells herself you can do this and precedes down the darken corridor, one foot in front of the other, and she refuses to look back. She knows if she looks back that she will turn and run back to the only thing she has ever known. So she walks on with only the dreams that  has beckon to her each night for most of her adult life….

Aimlessly she walks on , but no door does she see. At times she feels as though she is walking in circles, as if she was in a maze. She summons her memory to sustain her and to give her  some idea of where she is now and summons strength to carry on in her quest for freedom. Then she remembered that in her dreams last night the man appeared (the one she calls prince charming) He had said, Come, Come to me Raggedy girl, Come. Raggedy girl closed her eyes and she willed his voice to come to her now and lead the way for her to find him. Without him and if he is only a dream she might as way find her way back to her bed and stay here for she was too frightened to make it in the world alone. 

Raggedy girl was ready to give up, because it seemed as though standing here awake  that her prince

Charming had to be just a dream. This made Raggedy girl very sad that he talked to her every night in her dreams , but in reality where was he when she really needed him? She slid down the darkened wall and started to cry , she cried for her life alone in the dark, she cried that she was mistaken and she would never escape this terrible dark place after all, she cried for the man that she loved that turned out to be only a dream.

As she sit there in that dark corridor floor wondering how she could have been so mistaken about everything. She thought she could escape this place and go into the light for once in her life She thought the man that came to her each night would be real. In her dreams the two of them had planned a life together, children and a future together. In her dreams he had waited for her until she could be free of this prison she was living in, but now he couldn’t just let her hear his voice and lead her out  and to freedom. Raggedy girl placed her face into her hands and wept uncontrollably. She needed to be quiet but she could not help herself. The flood gates of her heart opened up and  her garments she was wearing became wet from her tears, and now she was lost, cold and wet, 

Raggedy girl composed herself and became strong and was determined to leave this hell that been her prison for so long. She felt hurt that her prince was not there in spirit and she could not rely on him to help her find her way out. She started to dry her tears on her sleeve since there was nothing else available. Her vision became clear, and as a matter of fact the corridor seemed brighter than before with a gleam about it. She gained courage and increased her pace from one foot in front of the other to a run. She was going to get out tonight if she died doing so, and she realized that she had been waiting on the man for help and it never came. In the distance she saw a light over a door and she ran to it fast and realized the light over the door read exit.

Here she was standing in front of a door that read exit. Raggedy girl had to stand there for a minute and gain composure. But, she was be damned if she got this far and she was not  going to wait a minute longer to open this door. She quickly turned the handle, but before she stepped out she was over come by all the noise of people talking loudly and other noises she did not recognize on the other side of the door

She took a deep breath and open it fast. The lights were so bright, brighter than she had ever experienced before and the noise overwhelming. She stood there trying to make out where she was and did not have a clue. She saw signs behind a long counter with people standing behind the counter and people standing in front of it. There was very long lines so she thought about looking around first to try to figure out where she was. Raggedy girl was truly nervous since she had never saw anything like this before. She looked back to the door that she had came from and there was a man standing in front of the door now. Should she go back through the door or stay here? She asked herself.

She wished the man would leave from in front of her door she had came through. She was starting to shake and thought she would surely pass out right there. As she went closer to the door knowing she did not know what to do and was safer  from where she came from than here in this world. As she slowly walked toward the door in what felt like an eternity. As she approached the man turned slowly and in his hands was a sign that read. 

   “RAGGEDY GIRL”

Does My Blog Title Fit? You tell me

                       Living an Extraordinarily Beautiful Life

I know that what I write most of the time may seem as though I live the farthest thing from this title, but in truth my life is extraordinarily beautiful. Even though, I have had my share of heart break and major losses in life "My life is still beautiful" . Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there are may chapters in my life ready to be lived and blogged about. 

I have loved and been loved in return by the most incredible man I have ever known. Although, he was called away to be with Jesus that one true love shall sustain me all the days of my life. To love and to be loved is the most beautiful thing on God's green earth. I know that I shall never know this kind of love again, but I smile each time I think of Jason and can see his kind and loving face. I can close my eyes and he is there. This beauty alone makes my life worth living. 

I see beauty in a new born baby, I see this beauty in a sunrise or a sunset, or to lie on the ground and watch the stars underneath a Georgia sky. I stop long enough to smell the roses. I love sights, colors, shapes and architecture, A old building can say a lot about the person that

designed it. A old house can say a lot about it's owner and the people who have lived there. I 

love my home, my heritage, and no one can make me feel inferior. 

I have the career I have always wanted, family and friends that truly make me happy. What else could a girl really need? As long as you have a love for God within you there will always be an Extraordinarily beautiful life. As long as you feel blessed with the things that you have and thank God for them everyday you are forever happy and smiling.

I know I am far from perfect, but I'd really like to be. I try not to judge others, but sometimes when I am hurt, the people who hurt me I have been known to lash back at them, only to feel bad and ask for forgiveness later. How can we seek forgiveness from God, if we ourselves cannot forgive our fellow man? 

For you see even though I may sometimes whine about the things that did not go my way, that does not mean that all in all that I am not living a beautiful life. Even with a broken heart I use that as a learning experience of what not to do again. I try to be a good person although many times I may fall short because I am flesh and bone. I do make mistakes, but I do try to rectify them. 

I feel as long as I am smiling someone is smiling back at me and I might just make there day a little better. Little things make me happy, like a ecard or a hand written letter in the mail from my granny. One of granny's hand made knitted Christmas sweaters that I wear once to make her happy and there is a new one every year. I want one year to have both mama's and daddy's families together for Christmas under one roof at my farm back home. These are things that make me happy. Or when Jason was alive he would go into the store to pay for gas and come out with a plastic or felt rose.   

I can find beauty in nature, walking, hiking and even in a lady bug I see on a leaf. I see beauty in the faces of my dogs as they beg for a treat. I saw beauty in the face of my very own English Bull with over bite and all (a face only a mama could love) His name was General Lee and I had him 13 years before his death. The General looked like the Georgia Bull Dog. 

I am happy for I am alive today thanks to a team of doctors that saved my life from a brain stem/ spinal cord injury I sustained in a car accident. I beat the odds and I am 100% healed. Well I always give God credit for my healing and he makes my life beautiful and happy I am still around to tell this story. 

"FOR YOU SEE I DO LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARILY BEAUTIFUL LIFE"   

They say the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, But is it really?

There are maybe's, what haves, should haves, could haves and nothing short

of asking myself that 10 million dollar question.. "Was It Ever Really Real?"

How can one single person bring so much joy into your life, make you feel

as if you were drifting on a cloud and then rain havoc on your world? Why 

can't  people say what they think, and believe what they feel? Where is 

the truth, much less what is the truth? Can truth be found in the world 

today? 

There are so many people in the world playing games that it is hard to distinguish truth from fiction. It is so easy to believe in some people, because your heart tells you that they are true and worthy. I know  that there are those who are true and worthy, but they not only lie to you, but to themselves. They live in  worlds prearranged for themselves, by the church, there parents and live everyone else's life for them but never there own.  These people can never truly be happy. I know you never lied, I know you only spoke the truth, or what you thought the be at the time, but the truth is a double edged sword. When you kill me you also kill yourself.

My truth is this: I wear my heart on my sleeve where I always 

have and I always get hurt. I must say I am glad that is was you. 

Things can finally be over for me in my heart and my dreams of 

a fairytale  love that was suppose to come true years ago shall

now cease to be.

It has been so hard to trust people , but I trusted you  with my very life. Maybe, years ago all my dreams could come true, but things are different for you now. I thought that you were my prince charming, strong, viral and would defend  my honor at all cost. That you would give me one kiss and I would awake from my slumber. That you would become  my prince and I your princess and you would love me until the end of time. 

I moved on to a higher ground, seeking refuge from the storm, the storm that came down on me with such a force it left me by the wayside. I was scared, frightened, sick and alone. Everything I once trusted and the person in who I trusted,left me alone to be battered by the storm with no thought of my well being.   

I have a future, with no more lost dreams, no more what if's and

wondering time and time again why things didn't work out the 

first time. For what it is worth I know the truth or at least I hope

I know the entire truth this time. There are no more rose colored

glasses that I wear. I see the truth for what it is and even though

I do not 100% agree with it, this is my fate. 

I am a survivor and I will survive no matter what is thrown at me. No matter how many times a guy breaks my heart. If you break my heart once there may still be a chance, but break it twice and there is no chance at all. Fool me once shame on you, but fool me twice and shame on me. I only trusted you and what you said you wanted,it was your decision to make and you made none. I will not sit alone waiting on a maybe, a could be, but you know and will always know in your heart that it was a should be. A sure thing.

The thing that hurts the most was you could not tell me anything, not by phone or a email you threw me and my dreams straight to hell.  You are certainly not the man I thought I knew so well, I could take the truth why didn't you tell me?  Everything I know I read between the lines. If you were torn you could have told me so. You could have bowed out gracefully with your head held high and I would have respected you for that. Not knowing anything drove me crazy and I am not one to beg.

Love means never having to say your sorry. Love means putting the one you love first and foremost which you did but then didn't have the guts to tell me. 

I am happy for you I really am, but I should have been 

able to tell you. May God Bless You! I hold no grudges.

I would have never, ever got hurt if you hadn't said things

to me that you could never mean in a 1000 years

I think the grass is fine where you are at....

Be careful what you wish for, it might just turn and bite you in the ass.

   

Halloween's Arrival Just a Few More Day's

AMBER DRESSED UP!

Curiosity Killed The Cat 

Halloween is just around the corner, and with it comes goul's and goblins and things  that go 

bump in the night. BOO!! 

I love Halloween it is one of the most exciting holiday's there is in my book.

I love decorating the house for Halloween and making my very own "Jack O Lantern" that 

I purchase from a pumpkin patch. I always make a pumpkin pie as to not waste anything.

My candle scent is pumpkin pie as well. 

There are even Jack O Lantern's with pointy teeth

The Best Time To Play Dress Up

I think I will take my own groceries to the car ;)

Let's Eat

    

Decorating

This is my time of year......

I love being someone else for one night out of the entire year.

I love the smell in the air and all the excitement as the door bell rings  and you open the door  and hear (Trick Or Treat)

I love going harvest festivals and purchasing apple cider and looking at crafts people have made.

I love seeing everyone dressed up and having a great time!

Cara Loves Halloween! 

I just love Halloween & I Love  "Candy Corn"

Some of my fallen brothers RIP

I love making stuffed Bell Peppers in the shapes of Jack O Lantern's 

Scary Stuff!!!!!!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN