"Right On Time"

I am home from my first date with Kyle and to my surprise everything went well. I felt completely at ease with a stranger that I met on Tuesday by sheer accident as his Latte was spilled and him standing right in front of me in the line at Starbucks. I tell myself this must be fate and a higher power intervening to introduce me to someone I would had never met other wise. We do not run in the same circles and our careers have nothing in common. The average person would think me a little naive to be talking about a guy I just met this way, but they do not know my life. 

Those who know me know of my losses in life. They are losses that I have never seem to let go of after years. My losses were that of my mother and the love of my life my (soul Mate) within a short period of time. If my soul mate were still living I would be married and maybe even have a couple of children by now. I would be happy something I haven't truly been in years now. 

Kyle too knows the pain of losing someone he loves and finding himself shut down from pursuing a relationship. I was surprised when Kyle mentioned his loss before I ever mentioned mine since I find I talk about my loss far too much. But, not a day goes by that I do not speak to my soul mate and I feel that he still guides me in all things. No one knows me truly or how to react to me. I am sane I know my soul mate is no longer here, but I know my memories and my love keep him alive to me. 

I know that I have a lot of love to share with someone, but to me it cannot just be anyone. Just last week before I met Kyle I realized that there was certain person that truly cares for me, but I  respect him enough that I do not want him hurt. I wrote the blog "A Girl Like Me" to say to him I love you in a special way, but I just can't love anyone right now. I know I need to focus on work since I was distracted for a few months with nothing but loneliness. I don't know why I am always alone in life and love is nothing I can afford to dream of. 

I don't know where things will go with Kyle, but I am ready to take things slow to find out. I am not looking for love but if it finds me again it does. I have just been in awe of how a chain of events could bring a couple of strangers together as if forces of nature over powered us into submission. I know neither of us was looking for anyone on Tuesday morning. 

Yet, now we have talked for hours on end about our hopes and dreams and where we want to be in five years, ten years and the rest of our lives. Now we have met again and we were suppose to go out on a date tonight, but we talked on the phone and met for lunch and then spent the entire day together. He was a perfect gentleman and I love that he can make me laugh and I him. Laughter goes a long way in healing ones soul. 

"I look forward to much more laughter and companionship"