10 questions you should ask the person you’re dating

If you were going for a job interview you would have a huge list of questions to ask the company, so why would you not prepare some questions for your date?


Are you a saver or a spender?
Although we all like to think money doesn't matter when it comes to love, if you’re going to get serious with your date you need to know if they are a saver or a spender and understand how their attitude to money corresponds to your habits.
How to ask this question: To subtly ask this question ask your date where they went away this year. If the location seems to be within their means when you consider their job then your date is probably good with cash.

Are you seeing anyone else?
Establishing where you stand and what kind of relationship you are in is really important if you don’t want to end up hurt or hurting your date. Find out what they think your relationship is to avoid unnecessary confusion.
How to ask this question: There is no subtle way of asking this question and it is best to simply ask it directly. Prepare another topic of conversation though in case the situation becomes awkward once you have asked.


The list
Once you've been dating for a little while and you think you could get serious with your date it’s time to write down the names of every person you have dated or slept with. You might think nothing is worth this humiliation, but finding out three months into a relationship that your boyfriend slept with your sister and never called her back is not a fate anyone should have to suffer.
How to ask this question: Watching a film where a couple write a list of people they dated is a great way to introduce the idea and will help you to ask this question.


Do you have children?
You would be surprised by the amount of people who don’t ask whether their date has kids and by how many parents struggle to tell their date that they have children when not asked.
How to ask this question: If you want to ask this question you could talk about one of your friends or relatives who have kids and then after telling a funny anecdote about their children casually ask your date if they have children.


Why did you break up?
Why past relationships in your date’s life broke down can reveal a great deal about your date. Not only can you judge their values from past break ups, you can also begin to understand any insecurities they may have inherited as a result of their ex. Remember though, their explanation for a break up is just one side of the story.
How to ask this question:  Avoid talking about exes on your first few dates, but after you've gone out together four or five times then you could begin to talk about your own ex and how you broke up. Once you've finished you can then ask about your current date’s past break ups.


Religion and politics
Religion and politics are very sensitive topics and in part they are sensitive because they are important to people. Knowing how your views about the world correspond will help you understand one another better and help you judge whether you have a future together.
How to ask this question: To ask directly what someone’s religious and political views are can be seen as being blunt and it can sometimes be best to ask questions about your date’s life and their opinions on current affairs, which in turn will reflect their religious and political views.


Can I meet your friends?
This is a very telling question and you need to watch your date’s reaction closely if you want to understand how they feel about you. If they seem really keen for you to meet their friends then it’s a sign they really like you, but if your date seems a little hesitant perhaps they’re not quite ready for that level of commitment yet.
How to ask this question:  Wait for your date to talk about one of their friends or what they got up to at the weekend before asking whether you could meet their friends soon. This will make the question seem less planned and it will seem more natural.


Marriage
If you've got your heart set on tying the knot or if you can’t see yourself ever wanting to get married then it’s best to share your opinion on weddings as early as possible. Although the connection you feel is important, for a relationship to work your plans for the future have to compliment each others, so be honest and share your thoughts about marriage.
How to ask this question: Chances are if you’re thinking about weddings then so are your friends. If someone you know gets engaged or actually has their wedding whilst you are dating use this opportunity to bring up the topic of marriage.


Pets
It seems like the silliest of things when you begin dating but if your date is a big dog lover and you can’t stand animals then this may cause a big problem five years down the line.
How to ask this question: Ask your date if they have any pets. If they don’t then ask them why; they may be pet-less because of their circumstances and not because they don’t desperately want animals.


Hobbies
When they are single, people tend to fill their lives up with friends, volunteering, hobbies and work. Yet once you start to date someone seriously you need them to give up some of their activities in order to give your relationship the time and attention it needs to succeed. Some people struggle to do this though and it can cause a lot of heartache.
How to ask this question: Ask your date what the most important things in their life are and try to gauge whether their sports team is always going to be number one in their life.

10 ways to know you're no longer in love

Attracted to other people
Checking out a cute waiter or having the odd secret daydream about a beautiful celeb is perfectly normal and feeling attracted to someone in this way is not a sign that you are no longer in love. Yet if you start to feel strongly attracted to someone ‘real’ in your life, like a colleague, for example, or a friend, then this may be a sign you need to break up with your partner.

Your life is too full
When you first began dating your partner do you remember how you used to rush home from work just so you could be together? In a long-term relationship you can’t expect to want to spend as much time with your partner as you used to do when you first began dating, but if recently you've been filling up your days and your nights and your partner is not a part of your plans, it might be a sign you’re no longer in love.


You can’t forgive them
Sadly most relationships are marked by upset and most healthy relationships also involve a certain amount of forgiveness too. If you are struggling to forgive your partner for something that previously you would have been able to get over, you should ask yourself why. Can you not forgive them because you don’t love them?


You go clammy over commitment
Your relationship should always be moving forward and although you might have felt comfortable moving in together a few months ago, how do you feel now? Does the next step – whether that involves meeting their parents or having a baby – freak you out? If you begin to go clammy over your partner’s questions about commitment it might mean you no longer want to be in your relationship and you need to talk through these feelings with your boyfriend or girlfriend.


You don’t want to help them do their accounts
When you love someone you want to do anything for them and will offer your help and support when they need it. One sign that shows you might have lost that loving feeling is if you no longer want to give them that help and when they ask for your advice or assistance you resent them for needing you.


You look for fights
Some days, when you are in a stinking mood, fights can erupt easily and are a natural part of life. Yet if you are constantly looking for fights and blow up normally insignificant annoyances, making them into a big deal, it might be because you secretly want to break up with the person you are seeing. The next time a fight breaks out think about why you are so upset and whether the blame you are dishing out is deserved.


You don’t want to have sex
Love is very physical and although it’s perfectly normal for your sex life to not be as wild or as passionate as it was in those early days, sex should still be a significant part of your relationship. If you have lost the urge to have sex with your partner it may be because you haven’t done it in a while. If you are comfortable doing so, try to make sex a priority for a few weeks and if you still don’t want to get intimate with your partner after that period it might indicate that you’re no longer in love.


You’re not in sync
Body language experts believe that it is possible to tell when couples are no longer in love with each other by the way they move and interact when together. For example, if the man goes to hold the hand of his girlfriend and as he does so his girlfriend brushes her hair from her face with the hand he went to hold, it reveals an underlying discordance between the couple and shows they are no longer in sync.
If you find that there are lots of instances where your actions clash and your body language is awkward when together, it could be a sign you've lost your connection and you are no longer in love.


You’re holding out for better
Although you’re relatively happy in your relationship if you secretly think that there is someone better out there for you then chances are you are not in love.  Believing that someone else is more suited to you or hoping that this is not The One clearly shows you that you are no longer in love with your partner and it might be time to face the situation head on and think about breaking up.


You doubt your feelings
In the movies when teenagers aren't certain whether they are in love or not, some wise owl tends to tell them that: ‘You’ll just know when you are’. Similarly, if you doubt your feelings and are having to ask yourself whether you’re no longer in love with your partner, then the chances are you’re not in love – you should just know.
Remember though that love is never continuous and there will be some days when you feel bowled over by the strength of your feelings towards your partner and other days when you don’t feel that strongly at all.

5 secrets he’ll never tell you

Secrets and scandals are a part of everyone’s life and even if you think you and your boyfriend are immune from the scurrilous dramas that affect every other couple, you’d be wrong. Even the most honest men keep secrets.

#1. Did he love you back then?
Although most chick flicks depict all guys as being hopeless commitment-phobia, in reality it would seem that a lot of men actually announce those three killer words prematurely. Did your man tell you he loved you too soon? If he did, it may not have been because he instantly fell in love with your pretty smile and sharp wit; he may just have said those three little words to get laid.
A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men tended to say they loved girls because they thought it would increase their chances of having sex with them. If you are now beginning to doubt your guy’s intentions, don’t bother asking him for the truth unless you have a lie detector machine to hand – he won’t tell you the true reason why he declared his love to you and never will.

#2. Why he called you by his ex’s name
When your boyfriend accidentally calls you by his ex’s name it can feel as if your whole world is crumbling around you. Do you act casual and just shrug it off, or is there a more sinister truth behind his slip up?
Well, if you take note of a study that found that a quarter of all British men want to get back with their first love then you might want to raise a few issues with your guy. However, even if you did confront him would he tell you the truth? It would seem not, as the study also found that a whopping one in six men are still secretly in touch with their ex.
#3. That he’s depressed
More than five million men in the US are thought to have depression, yet the figure may be higher because many guys don’t talk about their feelings. Studies have found that guys are much less likely to admit to feeling depressed than women.  Although studies have not concluded why this is, it may be because some men want to live up to a macho stereotype, whilst others are unsure who to turn to for help.
To help your boyfriend, be aware of the signs that indicate your man is depressed. He may be unusually tired, have lost his sex drive or have new health problems like backache, constipation, diarrhea or headaches. There are lots of other symptoms too, but these are some common signs to look for and be aware of.

#4. His long-term plan
So, on a Sunday morning you often lie in with your boyfriend and talk about your future. You talk about getting married, the amount of kids you’ll have and where you’ll both settle down. Although you think this is a two-way conversation and that you are both being honest and frank with one another, be warned, things may not be as they seem.
Men will often go along with this fairytale-like game, but their actual long-term plan is very different. If you think your guy might just be placating you, ask them concrete questions, like ‘At what age do you want kids?’ and, ‘If we moved to the suburbs, how would I get to work?’. Although he may not have the answers to these questions (because, in reality, who does?!) his reaction may become defensive and angry. That’s a sign he’s keeping his long-term plan a secret.

#5. He wants a hug
We all had our suspicions, but now the truth is out; men love to hug. A study undertaken by the Kinsey Institute found that, for men, hugging and kissing were very important to their overall happiness in a relationship. Yet, for women, the study found sexual satisfaction was more important to their happiness within a long-term relationship.
So, the next time you see your boyfriend give him a big squeeze because the chances are, he’s desperate for a cuddle but won’t ever ask for one.

Signs you've found ‘The One’

How to tell if you are in love
In life, there are certain things you are 100 per cent certain of. For example, you know that you can’t stand that creep from finance and that, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t pull off the Dougie in a club. Yet annoyingly, there are other things in this world that we can’t be sure of and, as luck has it, they are often the really important things in life; like knowing if you have found ‘The One’.
#1. You have that post-exercise look : After sweating it out at the gym or flinging your limbs about in a Zumba class most of us are left with a red face, a beating heart and clammy hands. Interestingly, studies have found that we experience similar physical reactions when we are in love. So, if you want to know if you've found ‘The One’ pull out a mirror and have a good hard look at yourself; do you have that post-exercise look?
#2. You've developed mild OCD : A group of Italian scientists conducted a study in 1990 that found that people who had fallen in love showed symptoms of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). So if you find yourself becoming a little more obsessive about certain things that normally would not bother you, it might be a sign that you are head over heels in-love.
#3. You've turned into a vampire : For all of the Twilight fans amongst you, we’re sure you’ll be thrilled to hear that when you are in love you take on a few vampire-like traits. Scientists believe that people who have recently been bitten by the ‘love bug’ lose their appetites and may need less sleep than normal. These changes are thought to be instigated by chemicals and hormones within the brain.
#4. You can talk about that drunken night out : With your previous boyfriends or girlfriends, how did you resolve past issues? Did you scream and shout at one another and feel as if your views were never heard? Did you bottle everything up and pretend that your ex’s actions never hurt you? If you can see a significant shift in the way you both deal with issues in your current relationship and you feel like you can both communicate any problems you face then it’s a strong sign that you are right for one another.
#5. Your mum approves : You may not think that your mum or dad’s opinion counts for much when it comes to the love of your life, but if your family or your friends hate the person you are dating it’s a sign they are not right for you. Your family and friends will only want what is best for you and therefore, if they don’t like your new partner, chances are they’re bad news.
#6. You’re over your ex : In the past, you may have always had a few lingering feelings towards your ex. Yet now, your new relationship has made your ex seem insignificant and your old relationship has been truly superseded by this new guy or girl. Feeling as if you are completely over your ex is another clear sign that you've found ‘The One’.

5 signs your relationship is over

How to spot a dead-end relationship
Do you feel like you're stuck in a relationship rut but aren't sure whether things will ever change? It's normal for relationships to hit the odd rocky patch, but if you experience three or more of the signs below and 'the chat' hasn't resolved anything, it's often a sign that the fat lady has sung and Elvis has well and truly left the building. In other words, it's over.
1: Incompatible goals for the future
They say that opposites attract, but when you want children and your other half panics at the mere mention of parenthood, or your partner wants to immigrate to another country and you want to stay put, this kind of opposition can cause a problem. Whilst it's possible to work through such mis-matched goals and reach a fair agreement that both parties are happy with, sometimes it's hard to do that without thwarting your – or your partner's – dreams. Perhaps the most unhealthy thing you could do to your relationship at this point is try to persuade one another to sacrifice future plans in order for you to stay together. Not only is this selfish, but more often than not it leads to feelings of resentment between you and your other half, which often results in a break-up anyway. If there's no compromise and you feel as though your plans for the future are being jeopardized, it's probably best to part ways for the sake of your freedom and happiness.
2: Sneaking around
The key to a great relationship is honesty and trust, so if your partner is sneaking around then it defeats the object of being in an intimate relationship and you need to tackle the problem head on. Go about it carefully though; following him/her into town to 'catch them in the act' only to find that they were purchasing your surprise birthday present could lead to all sorts of complications, and you don't want to risk being the embarrassed guilty party. Instead, it's a good idea to communicate with a secretive partner to make it clear that you've noticed they're up to something and you're offended that they couldn't talk to you about it. If you still feel like your other half is up to something, it might be a good idea to call it a day on your relationship as the trust barrier has clearly been broken.
3: No special gestures
After weeks or months of being wooed by your other half in the early stages of a relationship, when the dust begins to settle it can feel as though Cupid has disappeared off the face of the earth and suddenly you're stuck in a relationship rut. We're not expecting to be swept off our feet and taken away to an exotic island to be showered in expensive gifts, but many couples often lose sight of the small romantic gestures that make the relationship feel that bit more special. If special gestures are sparse in your romance, this by no means suggests that it's over; you may just need to make a little more effort to be romantic – suggest more things to do together and the problem should be resolved in no time. However, if after a conversation you realize that all romantic gestures have stopped because you no longer feel as strongly for your partner as you once did, this is a sign that your relationship should come to an end.
4: You can't seem to leave the past in the past
Relationships where the past can't seem to be left where it belongs are often a recipe for disaster. If you're having an argument, respond appropriately to what is happening here and now, not what happened six weeks ago. Granted – past issues can cause an underlying problem in the relationship if they are never spoken about, but once a problem has been addressed it's time to move on from it. It's a common deal-breaker in relationships to keep bringing up past issues during an argument to use as ammunition against your other half. If you can't learn to forgive and forget – or your partner can't learn to forgive and forget a mistake that you have made – then it might be time to cut all ties and start afresh.
5: You're constantly bickering
Arguing is a natural way to get things off your chest and emphasize what's upsetting or annoying you to improve your relationship in the long-run, but when things have soured to the point that you spend more of your time arguing than not, it's often time to raise the red flag. Healthy relationships are about having good conversations and being happy when you're around your other half, not constantly being surrounded by negativity and feeling angry or upset. Don't be tempted to stick together when all you do is fight; as easy as this is to do, you will end up feeling even more miserable in the long run.

5 easy ways to make your relationship stronger

Make your relationship better by addressing old issues : Fights, jealousy and previous misdemeanors upset our little bubble of romance and can make relationships a tricky minefield. If you find yourself constantly arguing over the same issues, or blowing up in anger over the smallest of triggers, it may be because you and your partner have not addressed some old issues. Next time this happens, try to stay calm and work out why you have reacted in this way. If you recognize that you are angry about something that has happened in the past it is time to be brave and sit down with your partner to discuss it. Try not to accuse them. Instead talk through the problem, being as clear as possible about the way you feel. Try to look them in the eyes, as this helps build trust and intimacy. Once you've talked through your feelings attempt to work out a solution together. Although it may take a long time to heal this unresolved issue, if you feel you cannot forgive the person, it may be time to walk away. These issues will only continue to repeat themselves.                                                                                                                                                                                         Make your relationship better by taking time out :Between going to work, keeping fit and doing chores, it can be difficult to find the time to spend some decent time with your partner. In the UK alone, a typical childless couple only spends an average of two and a half hours a day with their partner, and of that time nearly an entire hour is spent watching TV. If that sounds familiar it’s time to make some changes. Firstly, have a TV ban and take your partner on some dates. If you’re struggling for ideas, pretend that you are going on your first few dates. Where would you take a guy or girl to impress them; a romantic hillside spot for a picnic or a trendy bar to see a new band? Choose locations that allow you both to talk to one another and ideally that are new to you both. Sharing new experiences will help reinvigorate your love life and will bring you both closer together. Remember, these dates are all about fun, so enjoy it.                    Make your relationship better by changing gender : The opposite sex can seem like a different species. Men and women have different habits, ideals and needs. Therefore it’s no surprise that we often find it difficult to get along with each other. The key to a good relationship is to understand that we are not alike. We will not always share the same attitudes or perspectives. So, the next time your guy tells you that you are overreacting, or your girl tells you that you don’t care, listen to them. Instead of exploding with rage at their idiocy, ask them why they think that and actually take what they say on board. You then need to explain, clearly and calmly, why you think otherwise. This is not to say that you should use their gender as an excuse when they treat you badly. However, trying to get into one another’s mindset and understanding why your partner acts in a certain way may help you overcome many nasty obstacles and end a lot of fights.                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Make your relationship better by getting more sex : Sex can be a chore. After a long day at work do we really want someone getting hot and sweaty on us? We could have another 20 minutes in bed! Yet, the more we do it the more we want it. So at times, although it sounds very unromantic, it can be best to just power through and do it a few times a week. Once you've combated your reluctance, you’ll reap all of the benefits. Not only are there zillions of health perks to having regular sex, your relationship will also benefit. This is because when we have sex the love drug, oxytocin, is released, which makes us build up a strong bond with the guy or girl we’re in bed with. It also promotes trust and makes us feel more generous towards one another. The best way to get more sex is to make sure you and your partner consider it to be a priority. Also try to find a time that suits you. If you get too tired to have sex before bed, try to do it in the morning or when you first get home.                                                                                                                                              Make your relationship better by spending time apart : Okay, we know that we are at risk of contradicting ourselves, but relationships are all about balance. So although you need to make sure you spend quality time together, it’s also not healthy to live in a two person love nest constantly.  Not only will your partner’s every move start to irritate you beyond belief, but boredom may begin to creep into your relationship. Having your own interests, social scene and hobbies will help keep you stimulated, balanced and healthy, and these qualities will inevitably also pass on into your relationship too. The trick to spending time apart is to agree with your partner how much “time off” you want to give each other. Once agreed, find something that excites you. This may be a holiday with friends, a charity challenge or training for a new event, like a 10k or marathon. Choose something that helps you develop as an individual as this will help you feel more independent and more interesting within yourself and your relationship.                                                                                    

CARLY RAE JEPSEN LYRICS "Tonight I'm Getting Over You"

I wanna smash your fears

And get drunken off your tears

Don't you share your smile with anyone else but me

I wanna touch your heart

I wanna crash it in my hands

Make you plead and cry as you give up all the lies

We're not lovers

But more than friends

Put a flame to every single word you ever said

No more crying

To get me through

I'll keep dancing till the morning with somebody new

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Over you

Over you

Stuck in a real bad dream

And man it feels so new to me

Should be in your arms but I'm begging at your feet

It's been a real hard night

And I just hold my pillow tight

It won't love me back, no,

It's not you and I

We're not lovers

But more than friends

Put a flame to every single word you ever said

No more crying

To get me through

I'll keep dancing till the morning with somebody new

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Over you

Over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Tonight I'm getting over you

Over you

Over you

(Tonight I'm getting over you)

We're not lovers

But more than friends

Put a flame to every single word you ever said

No more crying

To get me through

I'll keep dancing till the morning with somebody new

Tonight I'm getting over you