Writing With My Heart & Soul

I love to write...

I could honestly write about anything on God's green earth and beyond ..

I am comfortable writing on any topic ..

&

I am never bored while doing so.... 

I have wrote since I was a preteen in my little diary my parents bought me and moved on to journals later. They were things I never wanted anyone to see such as about boys especially. Although, I had just one boyfriend back then it was all completely innocent yet I found it to be private. I share so much now I know. I had tragedy to strike and a therapist I had at the time thought it was best that I take up blogging as a way to express my pain though the net with people I did not know and to welcome any feedback. I was on live journal then and I received lots of feed back both good and bad. But, I must admit on blogger no one reads my blogs and I get no feed back whatsoever. I sometimes share my blogs on my facebook page and people leave me a like, but I know they do not read them in there entirety. I know since they would have something to say about them. I am not a great writer, but mediocre. But, everything I write is important to me or I would stop writing completely.     

I suppose I will write even if no one reads anything I do. I have a job, a life but writing is a passion of mine. I have countless songs I have wrote as well as poems. I was unable to write songs living in the City, but I will be able to pick my guitar and sing without the fear of someone hearing me here or disturbing my neighbors as I did in the city.  I am renting a quaint little cottage about 10 minutes from work, and I have grass to mow. I am really feeling better about my life here so far. It is as if this little house is my muse (thoughts have been coming to me non stop since my arrival and couple of days ago.) I know once I start work that my continuous thoughts of story topics and the words there in will cease, but for now I am enjoying the adventure of the mind.  

I WILL LIVE

Out Live

life can

really knock you down

it's done well

in this me

thought I was down

for the count

and some days

I really wanted to be

I just can't stop

getting up

and trying again

but one day

one fine day

I will....

I will out live

pain

I will out live

darkness

I will out live

hate

I will out live

war

I will out live

money

I will out live

abusiveness

I will out live

time

I will out live

color & skin

yeah

some day

some how

I will die

...only once

[but I will live

twice] 

It Doesn't Matter

Doesn't matter

it doesn't matter

where you've been

what "hole you crawled out of"

[or are trying to]

if you came from money

or never had much

whether your life story

is G rated

or R...or X

whether depression

has it's claws in you

whether you gave yourself to sex

or were dragged kicking & screaming

whether

you

harm yourself

[& what that means/ how that helps]

whether you know your parents

& wish you didn't

or never met them

& wish you did

it's not where you've been

it's not what you've seen

it's where your going

& who's taking you there

that counts

Jesus

thank you

for not being afraid of brokenness

not being afraid of darkness

for wanting to be a part

of all of my life

the good & the bad

thank you that I can stay

with Jason Taylor

"I ain't gonna pray for you to love me

because I know you will

I just know it"

I know you do

thanks for your ruthless love

thanks for grace

like an untamed river

washing over everything

thank you

that while I "don't have all the time in the world"

you still do

while I don't have all the answers

I still have you

while I'm no hero

you will save me

mostly from myself 

thanks for being you

and loving me

There Is Hope

Hope?

why does this seem

like such a joke

sometimes?

like it's on an island

we can barely see

and never reach

yet

when you get some

it can be such a huge thing

"game changer"

doesn't seem to cover it

nothing else seems

to either

it seems flimsy

till you have some

then suddenly

it can be a lion

ready to bite your head off

you look at things that made you wither

and laugh at them

feels stupid

and you don't care

no matter how dark the night

if you can reach the dawn

you just

might

make it

so

there is

hope 

after all...