Tuesday, September 17, 2013

10 ways to know you're no longer in love



Attracted to other people
Checking out a cute waiter or having the odd secret daydream about a beautiful celeb is perfectly normal and feeling attracted to someone in this way is not a sign that you are no longer in love. Yet if you start to feel strongly attracted to someone ‘real’ in your life, like a colleague, for example, or a friend, then this may be a sign you need to break up with your partner.

Your life is too full
When you first began dating your partner do you remember how you used to rush home from work just so you could be together? In a long-term relationship you can’t expect to want to spend as much time with your partner as you used to do when you first began dating, but if recently you've been filling up your days and your nights and your partner is not a part of your plans, it might be a sign you’re no longer in love.


You can’t forgive them
Sadly most relationships are marked by upset and most healthy relationships also involve a certain amount of forgiveness too. If you are struggling to forgive your partner for something that previously you would have been able to get over, you should ask yourself why. Can you not forgive them because you don’t love them?


You go clammy over commitment
Your relationship should always be moving forward and although you might have felt comfortable moving in together a few months ago, how do you feel now? Does the next step – whether that involves meeting their parents or having a baby – freak you out? If you begin to go clammy over your partner’s questions about commitment it might mean you no longer want to be in your relationship and you need to talk through these feelings with your boyfriend or girlfriend.


You don’t want to help them do their accounts
When you love someone you want to do anything for them and will offer your help and support when they need it. One sign that shows you might have lost that loving feeling is if you no longer want to give them that help and when they ask for your advice or assistance you resent them for needing you.


You look for fights
Some days, when you are in a stinking mood, fights can erupt easily and are a natural part of life. Yet if you are constantly looking for fights and blow up normally insignificant annoyances, making them into a big deal, it might be because you secretly want to break up with the person you are seeing. The next time a fight breaks out think about why you are so upset and whether the blame you are dishing out is deserved.


You don’t want to have sex
Love is very physical and although it’s perfectly normal for your sex life to not be as wild or as passionate as it was in those early days, sex should still be a significant part of your relationship. If you have lost the urge to have sex with your partner it may be because you haven’t done it in a while. If you are comfortable doing so, try to make sex a priority for a few weeks and if you still don’t want to get intimate with your partner after that period it might indicate that you’re no longer in love.


You’re not in sync
Body language experts believe that it is possible to tell when couples are no longer in love with each other by the way they move and interact when together. For example, if the man goes to hold the hand of his girlfriend and as he does so his girlfriend brushes her hair from her face with the hand he went to hold, it reveals an underlying discordance between the couple and shows they are no longer in sync.
If you find that there are lots of instances where your actions clash and your body language is awkward when together, it could be a sign you've lost your connection and you are no longer in love.


You’re holding out for better
Although you’re relatively happy in your relationship if you secretly think that there is someone better out there for you then chances are you are not in love.  Believing that someone else is more suited to you or hoping that this is not The One clearly shows you that you are no longer in love with your partner and it might be time to face the situation head on and think about breaking up.


You doubt your feelings
In the movies when teenagers aren't certain whether they are in love or not, some wise owl tends to tell them that: ‘You’ll just know when you are’. Similarly, if you doubt your feelings and are having to ask yourself whether you’re no longer in love with your partner, then the chances are you’re not in love – you should just know.
Remember though that love is never continuous and there will be some days when you feel bowled over by the strength of your feelings towards your partner and other days when you don’t feel that strongly at all.


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