WARNING: This one is a DOOSEY!!!

Okay--I have a big ole whine today!!! Huge!!  WARNING: This one is a DOOSEY!!!

Selfish, self-centered--that it is.  Narcissistic--I"m sure!

Here's my whine:  people wonder why I do a lot of things---if not most things independent of others--

And why I dedicate a lot of time  (most of the time I would spend "with others" alone or with with family).

Well--let me tell you!

BECAUSE PEOPLE BACK OUT OF THINGS FAR TOO MUCH--AND THEN EXPECT ME TO NOT CARE---EVEN THOUGH THEY ALWAYS CARE IF I DON'T HAVE A BIG HUGE FREE SCHEDULE ALL THE TIME THAT FITS IN THEIR LIVES!!!!!

I HATE that--I always have!!!

Ever since I was a teenager--seriously!!!

It's always been this  horrible Catch 22 for me.  

The usual event planning by me because everyone loves my taste. Ha

I am tried--after being prompted--to set up an "outing"!

I tried to invite all sorts of people--married,  unmarried, all sorts.

No one wants to contribute there time to help me, but expect things to get done and run smoothly.  

No one--or hardly anyone signed up to come.

Then I had 2 people--friends--message me that they could come.

And then--at the last minute (LITERALLY--like as if I was walking out the door to my car) I get a text that said NEITHER of them could go!!

The story of my life! And people wonder why I opt to do things by myself so much!!

On my way to any outing or event that this happens I wonder why people suggest events, parties or outings if they will not clear there calender to make it a priority? Everyone seems to love spending time with you, plan things that takes away from you time, your schedule with no concern for your time or feelings.  

 I came up with the 3 reasons why this happens:

A.  I like spending time with myself!!! Shockingly, I'm not afraid to be by myself--like a lot of women seem to be.  I TRUST myself--and obviously--the Spirit--cause who the heck else do I have to hang out with regularly?

B.  Myself and I--we have the same schedule!  Makes scheduling things WAY easier

C. Myself and I--we have the same tastes!  Meaning--I don't have to cow-tail to someone else's tastes cause someone else either has no concept, or does not care that I have to eat at certain times, and so forth.

So yea--that's why I do things by myself a lot.  It's not that I don't like doing things with other people--but often there is so much to arrange and rearrange, and rearrange again--it takes up more energy and time than it's worth.  More than once I get done with some activity with other people (not usually family--although even family can be more than enough stress--more than enough--believe me!) and I think "was that worth it?" 

There's this horrible news article/advice column that has been floating around online for years now.  An article from a married "friend" to an unmarried "friend"--who, I admit, was insensitive and stupid.  I try very hard not to be one of those friends.  But--it's AMAZING to me how much I try to be sensitive about other people's schedules, and husbands, and children, and needs--and others--don't seem to give a flying fart that I have a schedule, that I have needs, and that sometimes, I would REALLY prefer that my life not have to be turned upside down because someone else can't contain their needs for a freaking DAY!!!  It amazes me to this day, how people--especially those of my faith, assume that I have a "fly by night" schedule--where I can just pick up and go out with them any old time THEY want to.

You know--I HAVE A JOB!!! A REALLY REALLY BUSY STRESSFUL ONE AT THAT.  I HAVE FAMILY TOO--WITH NEEDS--LOTS OF THEM!!! I HAVE PEOPLE I PRAY FOR AND CARE ABOUT AND ADVOCATE FOR AROUND ME ALL THE TIME (WHETHER IN PERSON OR NOT)!!!!  AND SOMETIMES, I JUST WANT A NIGHT TO CLEAN MY FREAKING HOUSE SINCE I'M NEVER HOME, AND DON'T USUALLY GET TO DO IT UNTIL MY TOILET IS GROWING!!!

I know, I know--I'm so whiny, and complaining!!!

AGGGHHH!!!! 

Okay--so it's two whines today--but seriously--people wonder why..........???????????????????

I wrote this a while back while feeling used--, but now I'd be happy just to do everything over without complaints. I realize people do mean well. but they too have hectic schedules. I will not be volunteering anytime soon because my heath, but I will be willing to help anyone in any way..    

Alright--you can now return to your own whine and cheese!