Monday, February 18, 2013

Summer Storm




It rained. Rained and rained until the streets flowed like rivers and the trees bowed like paupers to the king. The trails lost their footing and rocks slid down the path to find a new resting place until the next big gush. I didn't think much about it; so isolated under my big red roof in this muggy adobe house. The white stucco walls keep the solidified wetness out and I am just left with the pitter patter and the sensation of moisture upon my ears and on my skin. But I really notice what has happened when I hit the hills. Nothing is the same on the same old path...no leaf left unmoved and not bird left unsung. It's still so dark from the passing storm that the crickets chirp in confusion and the frogs croak at noon. Just like my taste buds, my nose is drawn to life by the pure dampness of my surroundings. Eucalyptus, fir, lavendar, blossoms, dirt, earth, balsam and vetivere all rush inside me. A prick on my side lets me know I am alive and the bee stuck in my skin reminds me of the passing summer. It's gone. Summer, sunshine, and that chunk of life I tossed to the wind. The skin on my ribs begins to swell in response to the venom and I feel warm. Rain, warmth, and the opposing cold. I feel asleep in this weird other world. Everything looks the same but nothing is...only I am the same. Constant, walking, always trying to change but never really feeling the rain. It's time to flow, move. Even if the pace is a trickle...just like the droplets on my window. They may go ever so slow but at least the get somewhere. Rain on me.

Moving again. Not sure when or where. Just know it is going to happen soon. Will I ever stop? Probably not!

Written 2009 -A Wilson

Thoughts Of The Day





For some reason this blog has recently become a place for whiners, i.e. me, to come and do their deal. I don't like writing whinny things and I don't like reading them so that will stop promptly.

Life is so freakin nuanced. Sometimes I can point out the 101 things that I love about my current life and in the same breath feel completely swallowed by the weight of my world. Most recently my time has been spent wrestling with the following-

+ I would love to leave the country without a return ticket, but I can't imagine living a day without my family.. I like who I am more with my dogs. But I really want to see Nepal.

+ I love dancing (duh) but don't know how much. It's hard to sort out your loves into "love-less" and "love-more" and "love-first". Do I love it enough to sacrifice relationships for? Do I love it enough to justify working a job I hate so that I can enjoy that love? Do I love it more than I love my other loves? It seems trivial until you find yourself having to make lists of what you value in life, and you can't even do that.

+ Vegan pumpkin pie is to die for. Bananas in the filling, coconut milk in the whip=amazing. Although 4 pieces may have been too many. Thanks nice lady cookie friend!

+ In the past 8 years I have experienced being a minority. In my silly little life this has happened very few times but now it's normal, and weird. I don't know how to feel about this; happy, mad, uneasy, free, bad, etc. Examples in the last 3 days: only white girl in the shoe store, only English speaker in the bank, only straight girl at the Halloween party, only degree holder at the show, .I want my children to be minorities sooner than in their 20's that way they know it's okay to be alone in something and to respect others who hold that spot often. Does this sound weird?

+ I love sleeping and scrubbing. I would go to bed at 8 every night if I could and use the most rough, exfoliating, invigorating soap out there all over my body every shower if I thought I could do that without loosing both my social life and my skin.

I think it's marvelous how fog sets so low, so close to the ground, so that those who want to venture above it, can, and in return get to experience the god-like view. Cloud tops like cushions. Night



Balancing Life




I feel I've lost a bit of my touch with reality, or at least that feeling of reality. Like when you know that you are somewhere and when you wake up tomorrow you will still be there and that people expect you to show up to work and such. It's probably all the moving forward I've been doing in the last 8 years that's keeping me from ever sensing permanence or anything like it. Really I don't mind; I like the sense of floating above the world, moving through it like a piece of hair that floats from one edge of my glass of water to the other.

I do admit however that things in the last few weeks have felt something almost sustainable. My home is cozy and warm, and  my bills are minimal, and life costs here are low. I've got a handful of loyal and loving people in my life, and I love this city. I wonder how long I will appreciate these things. Really I think it's rarely the things in my life that bug me but usually me who bugs them ya know?. Usually, I just change enough to grow tired of it. Yet three things in my life I have never grown tired of; my career, love and dance. That's why I hope and almost believe in success here. Also, the lovely Vagabond band leader whom I listened to perform on the quaint Mississippi street reminded me that Baltimore today is like Paris in the 20's, booming with arts and life. That means we all get creative, band together, and make something work. This whole idea of being here and now in a time that could possibly be historic makes me want to invest and invest in a very real, serious way in this community.

 I very much fear being surrounded by kids, having to be their leader, and in a way want to meet that challenge ( this is very uncharacteristic of me, a hard-headed let-me-at-it type of lady). I grew this way a few months back But in the last week , I have had numerous rewarding laughs, hugs, kisses, and tickles with some munchkins that makes me think I've created this wall of fear and maybe it's time I take it down.




Food For Thought



It's like somewhere in my afternoon sandwich, logged between the slices of wheat bread and casual conversation, I swallowed an egg the size of a rice grain. It finds a resting place in the pit of my stomach and begins to grow. It's noticeable the instant I ingest it; a parasite that I'm watering. Stupid enough I know that I'm it's only true blue source of inspiration, the reason it has to go on, it's one and only. I should have the power to kill it; no I DO have the power I just need to find my worries kryptonite. It's not good enough to ignore it, to find another thought to think or keep my hands busy with work and games. Growing hunger tells me that the source is the cure, the mind is the poison and I need to think these thoughts away. This is my new imperative. I am committing myself to the recognition and destruction of worry, distress, and pain. Not everything is in my control and that's ok. And for those things that are? I need the patience to wait until I can address them. This is a world that works fully and completely separate of my daily doings and to expect it to mold around my stress is ludicrous. When it can be approached it will, and till then I wait. Not hungry, not fostering a little life deep in my stomach. Simply living with the freedom and knowledge that it will be okay. It all will be okay.


Home is where the heart is




The gravel lets me know I've arrived. Somehow I make my way from here to there with not so much as a single thought about direction until the time comes to press the clutch and rail up hard on the old, gurgling E-brake. Home....or at least something like it, pulls up into side view. I'd be lying if I said I knew my exact thoughts at the sight of the place because usually my head is juggling 5-7 thoughts simultaneously. I don't say this to brag but rather to lament since as a fully-fledged member of the female sex I tend to multi-task with less than perfect efficiency. In fact, the constant task balancing tends to detract from my overall effectiveness at daily living as simple tasks like recovering keys and remembering to remove my laundry from the drier become epic when I recall that I was not thinking about the laptop I set my keys on when it came time to abandon them but rather at what time my dog's last had a bowel movement. Even that very run-on sentence pales in comparison to the trains currently running through my head. As such thoughts digest I reach the door and am met with barks, paws, tails and my own scrambling to contain the wiggling beasts. My bed peaks at me from the corner of my eye and walking toward the bright rays coming through the window I think "this is my adult room". Honestly, I think like that. I look at the color of the walls, the pattern on the bed sheet, the computer on the small side table and think that never in my childhood mind did I picture this room when I thought about my life when I grew up. I try to remember what or where I thought I would be and the memories are still bright and in tact, as if I had spent enough time creating them that my effort laminated them in time for future reference to such a masterpiece of forethought. I pictured myself in a big, open room with lots of light colors. I would have a small part time job and thus devote a lot of time to decorating my home, which of course, I owned. I could hear a family in the background, a husband for sure and a dog too. I had no roommates, no benefactors, and I was very proud of myself for this. The kitchen smelled of fresh cooked foods and outside was a small farm. All this by 20.

Now, my mind knows I was just dreaming of my home down South. As, I lay on my bed, comprised of, sheets my mom bought, and a comforter that I loved and had to have because they matched the sheets mom bought. wondering how I got here. Don't get me wrong; I love where I am and would not change a thing. I love the freedom I have as a young, unmarried doctor, living simply and honestly off each paycheck. I love the distance I keep from the place I live and the friends I leave at the end of each workday to come find my retreat in this small rich suburb.. I love the snobby feel of the coffee shop and how I laugh every time I pull up in my used Toyota next to the BMW's for my morning .50 brew. But the discourse between what is and what I thought would be creates a sort of permanent tenitus in my mind, reminding me of the nature of dreams. How do I see my future right now? What pictures have I sold myself about tomorrow? How much more distant can they possibly be from what I used to think today would be? If nothing else, the suspense is killing me. Let it be tomorrow already.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Guide To Using Coupons


Love them or hate them. Take them or leave them. The truth still stands—using coupons can save you a lot of money…if you know how to use them correctly.
Let's face it: No one wants to spend hours clipping coupons just to save a couple of bucks. But if it's done right, couponing shouldn't take more than an hour a week of your time–and it could save you hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year. At least that's what couponing looks like for Andrea Deckard, author of SavingsLifestyle.com. She saved $6,500 in her first year of couponing—and she's willing to share her secrets.



What's the Best Way to Start?

Deckard points out that printable coupon sites, like Coupon Network, are particularly convenient for grocery coupons, along with newspapers. "I encourage people to subscribe to the newspaper," she says, "because if you purchase one in-store, you may not receive the same coupons, and a weekly subscription tends to be cheaper than subscribing to just the Sunday edition." For online shopping, she likes Savings.com, which constantly updates coupon offers for hundreds of retailers.

Andrea also advises looking at your spending over the past three months. Set a small goal to reduce your expenses by 10 to 20% in three months, and aim to spend no more than one hour searching for coupons each week. "In the beginning, it could take a little longer to scope out where the good deals are for your favorite stores," she says, "but setting a goal for one hour, once you figure that out, is realistic."

After three months, challenge yourself to spend 10% less, and continue to set small challenges for yourself in this way until you reach your desired savings. According to Deckard, focused efforts could realistically save 50 to 75% on your grocery bill. "Whatever you do, don't compare yourself to others," she adds. "Your family's situation is unique, and your goals will likely be different. Make only small changes that you can stick with for the long haul."

5 Fool-Proof Tips for Successful Couponing


Before acting on the below five steps, start with Andrea's rule for beginners: If a store doesn't have a minimum of five sale items that you need, don't bother going. You'll waste both time and gas money if you're driving around to different stores for just one or two items.


Get Organized
Whether you clip and sort coupons in a binder or file them all by store into separate folders, experiment with different methods that will help you save time both when searching at home ("Hey, I already have a coupon for mustard!") and when you're in the store.


Focus on One Store to Start

If you purchase most of your cleaning supplies at Target, for example, begin your coupon search there. You'll be less overwhelmed this way, and you'll gain confidence as you start to see how much you're saving on the things that your family needs. When you feel you've conquered one store, you can branch out to other places that you frequent.


Clip Based on Need

Figure out what exactly you'll be shopping for and base your coupon search on those items only. So if you're heading to Shop Rite for three dinners that you plan to make, focus your coupon search for items on your "to buy" list, and ignore everything else.

Stockpile to Save Even More
Once you've gotten the hang of general couponing for a purpose, you can start stockpiling purchases for your favorite non-perishable items, like rice, pasta and coffee. To do this, keep a running list of the items that are in constant rotation in your house, and update the inventory each week so you'll always know what's running low. This way, when you come across that 15% coupon savings on pasta sauce, you'll know if you need to use it or not. Not only will you be stocked up on things that you'll actually use, but you'll also have gotten it all for a great price.

Learn the Drugstore Rules
Shopping at stores like CVS, Walgreens and Rite Aid can take more time to master, since they each have their own reward system. So read all the fine print on their coupons, and when you do find a store that you believe offers the best rewards, do the majority of your shopping there to get the most savings. (And check out this comparison of online drugstores for even more saving advice.)


There are 23 Questions You Will Be Asked In A Job Interview


Let's face it; no one likes the interview process. Well, certainly not the people being interviewed anyway. You have to be on your best behavior, you only get one chance to get it right, and it's like taking your driving test all over again. Over the years I've been to countless interviews. To get my first job out of college I attended some 15-20 interviews a week. Whether it was in Britain or over here in the States, the questions never really seemed to change from job to job. Not only that, but the answers to them are usually the same, with your own personal interpretation of course. Here I present 23 questions you're likely to be asked, and how I have learned to answer them. Why 23? Because I had more than 20 and less than 25. Remember, being interviewed is a skill, and if you do the preparation you should ace it every time. 


1. So, tell me a little about yourself.
I'd be very surprised if you haven't been asked this one at every interview. It's probably the most asked question because it sets the stage for the interview and it gets you talking. Be careful not to give the interviewer your life story here. You don't need to explain everything from birth to present day. Relevant facts about education, your career and your current life situation are fine.

2. Why are you looking (or why did you leave you last job)?
This should be a straightforward question to answer, but it can trip you up. Presumably you are looking for a new job (or any job) because you want to advance your career and get a position that allows you to grow as a person and an employee. It's not a good idea to mention money here, it can make you sound mercenary. And if you are in the unfortunate situation of having been downsized, stay positive and be as brief as possible about it. If you were fired, you'll need a good explanation. But once again, stay positive.

3. Tell me what you know about this company.
Do your homework before you go to any interview. Whether it's being the VP of marketing or the mail room clerk, you should know about the company or business you're going to work for. Has this company been in the news lately? Who are the people in the company you should know about? Do the background work, it will make you stand out as someone who comes prepared, and is genuinely interested in the company and the job.

4. Why do you want to work at X Company?
This should be directly related to the last question. Any research you've done on the company should have led you to the conclusion that you'd want to work there. After all, you're at the interview, right? Put some thought into this answer before you have your interview, mention your career goals and highlight forward-thinking goals and career plans.

5. What relevant experience do you have?
Hopefully if you're applying for this position you have bags of related experience, and if that's the case you should mention it all. But if you're switching careers or trying something a little different, your experience may initially not look like it's matching up. That's when you need a little honest creativity to match the experiences required with the ones you have. People skills are people skills after all, you just need to show how customer service skills can apply to internal management positions, and so on.

6. If your previous co-workers were here, what would they say about you?
Okay, this is not the time for full disclosure. If some people from your past are going to say you're a boring A-hole, you don't need to bring that up. Stay positive, always, and maybe have a few specific quotes in mind. "They'd say I was a hard worker" or even better "John Doe has always said I was the most reliable, creative problem-solver he'd ever met."

7. Have you done anything to further your experience?
This could include anything from night classes to hobbies and sports. If it's related, it's worth mentioning. Obviously anything to do with further education is great, but maybe you're spending time on a home improvement project to work on skills such as self-sufficiency, time management and motivation.

8. Where else have you applied?
This is a good way to hint that you're in demand, without sounding like you're whoring yourself all over town. So, be honest and mention a few other companies but don't go into detail. The fact that you're seriously looking and keeping your options open is what the interviewer is driving at.

9. How are you when you're working under pressure?
Once again, there are a few ways to answer this but they should all be positive. You may work well under pressure, you may thrive under pressure, and you may actually PREFER working under pressure. If you say you crumble like aged blue cheese, this is not going to help you get your foot in the door.

10. What motivates you to do a good job?
The answer to this one is not money, even if it is. You should be motivated by life's noble pursuits. You want recognition for a job well done. You want to become better at your job. You want to help others or be a leader in your field.

11. What's your greatest strength?
This is your chance to shine. You're being asked to explain why you are a great employee, so don't hold back and stay do stay positive. You could be someone who thrives under pressure, a great motivator, an amazing problem solver or someone with extraordinary attention to detail. If your greatest strength, however, is to drink anyone under the table or get a top score on Mario Kart, keep it to yourself. The interviewer is looking for work-related strengths.

12. What's your biggest weakness?
If you're completely honest, you may be kicking yourself in the butt. If you say you don't have one, you're obviously lying. This is a horrible question and one that politicians have become masters at answering. They say things like "I'm perhaps too committed to my work and don't spend enough time with my family." Oh, there's a fireable offense. I've even heard "I think I'm too good at my job, it can often make people jealous." Please, let's keep our feet on the ground. If you're asked this question, give a small, work-related flaw that you're working hard to improve. Example: "I've been told I occasionally focus on details and miss the bigger picture, so I've been spending time laying out the complete project every day to see my overall progress."

13. Let's talk about salary. What are you looking for?
Run for cover! This is one tricky game to play in an interview. Even if you know the salary range for the job, if you answer first you're already showing all your cards. You want as much as possible, the employer wants you for as little as you're willing to take. Before you apply, take a look at salary.com for a good idea of what someone with your specific experience should be paid. You may want to say, "well, that's something I've thought long and hard about and I think someone with my experience should get between X & Y." Or, you could be sly and say, "right now, I'm more interested in talking more about what the position can offer my career." That could at least buy you a little time to scope out the situation. But if you do have a specific figure in mind and you are confident that you can get it, I'd say go for it. I have on many occasions, and every time I got very close to that figure (both below and sometimes above).

14. Are you good at working in a team?
Unless you have the I.Q. of a houseplant, you'll always answer YES to this one. It's the only answer. How can anyone function inside an organization if they are a loner? You may want to mention what part you like to play in a team though; it's a great chance to explain that you're a natural leader.

15. Tell me a suggestion you have made that was implemented.
It's important here to focus on the word "implemented." There's nothing wrong with having a thousand great ideas, but if the only place they live is on your notepad what's the point? Better still, you need a good ending. If your previous company took your advice and ended up going bankrupt, that's not such a great example either. Be prepared with a story about an idea of yours that was taken from idea to implementation, and considered successful.

16. Has anything ever irritated you about people you've worked with?
Of course, you have a list as long as your arm. But you can't say that, it shows you as being negative and difficult to work with. The best way to answer this one is to think for a while and then say something like "I've always got on just fine with my co-workers actually."

17. Is there anyone you just could not work with?
No. Well, unless you're talking about murderers, racists, rapists, thieves or other dastardly characters, you can work with anyone. Otherwise you could be flagged as someone who's picky and difficult if you say, "I can't work with anyone who's a Bronco's fan. Sorry."

18. Tell me about any issues you've had with a previous boss.
Arrgh! If you fall for this one you shouldn't be hired anyway. The interviewer is testing you to see if you'll speak badly about your previous supervisor. Simply answer this question with extreme tact, diplomacy and if necessary, a big fat loss of memory. In short, you've never had any issues.

19. Would you rather work for money or job satisfaction?
It's not a very fair question is it? We'd all love to get paid a Trump-like salary doing a job we love but that's rare indeed. It's fine to say money is important, but remember that NOTHING is more important to you than the job. Otherwise, you're just someone looking for a bigger paycheck.

20. Would you rather be liked or feared?
I have been asked this a lot, in various incarnations. The first time I just drew a blank and said, "I don't know." That went over badly, but it was right at the start of my career when I had little to no experience. Since then I've realized that my genuine answer is "Neither, I'd rather be respected." You don't want to be feared because fear is no way to motivate a team. You may got the job done but at what cost? Similarly, if you're everyone's best friend you'll find it difficult to make tough decisions or hit deadlines. But when you're respected, you don't have to be a complete bastard or a lame duck to get the job done.

21. Are you willing to put the interests of X Company ahead of your own?
Again, another nasty question. If you say yes, you're a corporate whore who doesn't care about family. If you say no, you're disloyal to the company. I'm afraid that you'll probably have to say yes to this one though, because you're trying to be the perfect employee at this point, and perfect employees don't cut out early for Jimmy's baseball game.

22. So, explain why I should hire you.
As I'm sure you know, "because I'm great" or "I really need a job" are not good answers here. This is a time to give the employer a laundry list of your greatest talents that just so happen to match the job description. It's also good to avoid taking potshots at other potential candidates here. Focus on yourself and your talents, not other people's flaws.

23. Finally, do you have any questions to ask me?
I'll finish the way I started, with one of the most common questions asked in interviews. This directly relates to the research you've done on the company and also gives you a chance to show how eager and prepared you are. You'll probably want to ask about benefits if they haven't been covered already. A good generic one is "how soon could I start, if I were offered the job of course." You may also ask what you'd be working on. Specifically, in the role you're applying for and how that affects the rest of the company. Always have questions ready, greeting this one with a blank stare is a rotten way to finish your interview. Good luck and happy job hunting.