News Flash

I had about enough negative energy today to last a lifetime. If you have a problem with me I will be the first one to try to help you solve it. In another life we could probably be you best friends. It started out okay you were building me up and tearing yourself down, which made me feel very sad for you so I wrote you back. Letting you know that you were beautiful and it had nothing to do with that. I refuse to blog about what went down, but you questioned my morals and made me out to be a bad person. If I need to be reminded of my morals God himself will call me on them and I will feel conviction about my actions.. I apologized to you and felt bad and you turn the tables to make me out to be such a bad person of low moral standards. 

I know people say things when they are hurt, but in reality I never hurt you. I was trying to help you and you lashed back to hurt me. No I am not perfect, but I do try. God is my judge and not you. Laying guilt trips on people do not get you everything you want. As I said, I am sorry you are hurt, but don't harass me.  

The Real Me

I often wonder what it is that I do wrong?  Do I seem too eager? Do I seem like a pushover? I really could do with or without someone in my life to stop every heartache that I have felt by being too trusting and truly caring about someone. I will talk to this person and then everything seems and feels great and then he goes off the grid. I call or leave a long heartfelt email that he never responds to. I am me and I will change for no one. What you see is what you get. I feel first and foremost that a guy will fall for my looks and not see the real me inside. I am a God fearing person that believes in Karma, and I try my best to do the right things in life, but I do live in a very ugly world. A world full of people  that lie, cheat and steal. I do not wish to be one of these people. I pray for the sick, the needy and hope to put my mark on this world so everyone will remember me when I die. I want to be a good person with outstanding morals, but I do fall short at times as do we all that are made up of flesh and bone. I tell myself that I am owed something from something that went wrong in my past and oh how I love this person but It does not make it right. I wish that I could do everything right in life and never hurt a living soul, but I know that cannot always be accomplished. I want someone that be happy with me and the life I have chose to live. Someone that can look within and see my heart and soul and respect me for who I am and what I do. I have worked long and hard to come to these cross roads in my life. I had given up many things during my residency that I truly loved to do like play in a bowling and pool league, I have not been able to ride my bike as much as I would like and I had to put my body building dream on hold. When I am accepted into a practice,possible back home in Ga I will still travel as much as I can. There is still so much of the world I have yet to see. I am spontaneous and if my job allows it would be nothing for me to take off and go on a trip. I can be packed and ready in one hour for any occasion or event that arises. I loved to be romanced with candle lit dinners at home cooked by the guy I am with. I enjoy all types of music from R&B, Country, Classic Rock, to the Classics such as Beethoven and Mozart. I love all sorts of movies from Disney, Action, Drama, Comedy, Horror, yes and I have plenty of chick flicks, but Good-fellas is one of favorites. I have a bucket list and I am a adrenaline junkie I want to become a pilot, be certified to skydive without an instructor, mountain climb, ride a bronc and a bull. I use to calf rope as a kid and loved it. There are so many things left to do and all I need is someone that loves me inside out and wants to share a life with me. I want the Note Book ending. I will settle for nothing less.      

Stay at home this election cycle

It seems that so long as I have been aware of politics people having been telling me to VOTE as if everybody having the right to vote is a mandate to use that right. This ubiquitous command has for a long time bothered me. The underlying statement seems to be, "vote" in order to be considered a conscientious citizen no matter your knowledge of the people or policies up for election.

However, I would contend that if you are unaware of policies and parties on the table then you and everybody else is better off in general if you DO NOT VOTE. The reason is simple, if you vote without knowing who or what you are voting for then at best you could be watering down the votes of conscientious citizens who do choose to learn about the issues and the people seeking public office.

At worst, you become a puppet of those with the money and inclination to manufacture advertisements and lies to such an extent that your vote is bought without you even knowing it. You see an ad on the TV or someone passes on a false truth, not knowing it and that pushes you to vote. And now, more likely than not, your vote is being used as a weapon against thoughtful, well-informed citizens.

So, I have come up with a bit a rubric. For every candidate you are considering voting to support or voting against, list 5-10 positions and policies you know that they support or oppose. Then read one small article or opinion piece that addresses your candidates perspective on that issue to be sure that that is what the person believes. If after that point you still feel strongly enough in support of that person then consider voting. But the night before casting your vote, please take an additional twenty minutes to read and think over criticisms of your candidate and his or her rivals and their policies.

If neither candidate is to your liking, then find a third party or don't vote at all. A voting turnout of less than 60% should not be seen as an indictment of the voters but rather that of the national parties and the dominant political parties that poorly represent the will of the nation.

So if you find both political parties too repugnant to endorse, do your part and consider staying home this election cycle. I have always been advised not to complain if I fail to vote. Last election I voted Republican as always, but had doubts on casting my vote then. Now I have decided that I do not agree in the least with the policies the candidates are selling, so I will not cast a vote this year. The past few election years there have not been a candidate I believe in full heartily, so this will be this first year I refused to cast a vote.    

THE NOTEBOOK

I want to be swept away by an unsuspected love, I do not wish to see it coming. There is no one in my life, but there has always been the dream of someone to complete me and not change me, to fall in love with me with every fiber of there being as I would love to love someone that way again. As I said, and I was serious I am not looking for anyone now since I seem to get hurt, by men that cannot even commit to dating you, getting to know you, but distance always seems to play a major role in getting to know someone truly. 

I wish upon a star, a star so bright that I can feel it's warmth. I look at this star and wonder if there is someone out there looking at this star and having the same feelings as myself? I wonder if they know I am out here, that I too get lonely and wonder if my life will ever be complete. You don't have to have someone to love you to be a good person, a caring person, but it does feel good to know that someone cares for you. It may or may not be love, but you have a feeling that it will fulfill your every want or need. It will render you dumb and speechless as a school girl being kissed for the first time. 

  So yes, I dream of love, a love that will surpass the hands of time. I am Allie in the "Note Book" searching silently for my Noah. I want the Notebook ending. To give of yourself to one person for as long as we both shall live. It is the kinda of love that love stories are wrote about, but so seldom do we find a love such as this, but it is possible. I am a hopeless romantic that has been kissing toads. 

I give up until I can find my one true love, my soul mate the one who takes my breath away when he is not in the room. The one who's voice makes me quiver with excitement and touch I crave. Are you out there? Do you gaze upon this same star? Do I already know who you are? Are you ready for love? Does it excite you? When I find the one he will be able to answer yes to all these questions?

I WILL KNOW WHO IT IS! 

No Worries

Been a while since I blogged, but I lost my muse again ;)

Nothing much going on here with me, since I am single and some what

keeping to myself. I went out last weekend after traveling into the city,

but what was a good night for me turned into a disaster and I lost a friend. 

There have been so many things that have not went my way, but I have not

blamed others for my own mistakes. 

I have had tragedy in my life, but crawled out of that hole I placed my own

self in and went on with life. I cannot blame God, my family, friends etc. for

things beyond my control. Life does not stand still, it does not wait on you

it revolves just as the earth and it doesn't matter if you are on board or not

it will go on with or without you. I chose to live, to my my life the best that 

it can possibly be. 

In a way I am old fashioned when it comes to relationships. I do not mess 

with married men or men that are in long term relationships with women. 

I would not want some woman to mess with my man, so I refuse to mess 

with someone else man. I will never allow myself to come in second in a 

man's life. If I cannot rate number one in someones life then they are 

not worth wasting my time on. 

So I choose to be single. Being single is not the worse thing that could 

happen to someone, being with someone and being miserable is. I am

happy. I don't have to worry about cooking large meals, washing extra

clothes, and I can sleep all over the bed and there is no one to complain. 

I can come and go as I like and not have a jealous man question me

about my every move. Oh and by the way it does take a hour to go

to the grocery store and back. 10 to 15 min there and then back 

and then finding everything you need takes that long. 

I have a lot of work to do and no time for a man at this point in 

my life. If I am meant to be with someone I am sure that God 

will send him to me and I will know. You can love and never

be loved in return, but I am not worried about it in the least.

Love is spontaneous and comes around when you least expect 

it. If you dwell on finding love it will never come your way. 

I am happy, content and need no one to validate me as a

woman, for I am woman. A woman that is a survivor, fighter,

and happy in my own shell. I will never give up, I will never

give in, my morals are who I am and I would never be me

without them. I refuse to worry about what things might have

been, but focus on a future that I see as bright.

I AM ME! 

I AM WOMAN!

I WILL NEVER CHANGE,

BUT WILL REMAIN THE SAME      

Life As I See It For Now

I  have amazed myself at how good I did at work this week. I would be lying if I said 

I had not been some what distracted by thoughts of you but I expected that to still

happen some until my heart and mind releases you completely. I know that you 

also have many things going on and do not need me to detract you as well. I so much

want your life to work out and I know it is better with out me in it. I know you'll 

understand that it is nothing personal just the fact that we both need our time to

make our own ways in life. 

You are happy and have such an amazing network of family and friends and as long as

you are happy I am happy also. You are an amazing person and I have been so very 

blessed to have had you in my life if for a short while. 

I am so busy what with my job, my diet, workouts, my babies and taking care and making

my house a home that I have no time for nothing else. My life is so hectic and I really have no

time for facebook and blogger that I cannot see me doing this much longer. I am happy with 

my life just the way it is..Single and sticking to it. It is not so bad being single. In a couple of 

years I will go to the lab and use my eggs I have back home in storage. I will pick a genius

donor and I will have a baby all by myself and raise it so. I do not have to have the craziness 

of a baby daddy.;) 

I love my life now with no dreams or expectations. I can be a good Dr and live life doing what 

I love. Believe me I am happy and looking back now wouldn't have it any other way. I have 

been shown that life is good and what you make of it. Should I decide to settle down ever I

shall choose wisely.   

My Opinions (Rantings)

Life comes with no guarantees that you're life will work out as expected or there will  

be a happy ending. I know that normalcy does exist and can be there for those brave

of heart willing to reach out and take hold of the brass ring. I say this women 

not to be mean, but we are waiting on the fairy tale that exist solely in the movies.

All men (our men) do not look like Tatum Channing or Matthew Mcconaughey

that is a fact but we love them anyway, if not we never loved them at all.  Let's

live in the real world ladies. 

 I mean how many women have lived with a guy 5 to 10 years and then there 

is a baby on the way before a man will propose to the woman he says he loves.What 

has happened to family values? I don't mean any harm to my friends that have lived

this, but when the baby is on the way and the couples marry everything is great and 

there love for one another becomes stronger. Then the baby is born and by the 

child's second or third Birthday the parents are ready to split up. How can you

get along and have a good solid relationship and then your own flesh and blood 

change it all? 

I envied these people, because they had everything in life I ever wanted, but looks

can be deceiving on the outside looking in. Wouldn't it be great if love could last 

forever? It can happen if we do not take the people we love for granted and always 

show them the love and respect that we had for them the first time we kissed them 

and our toes curled. People are people and when we find them they are doing 

and saying everything right. But, you have to realize when you live a life together

there will be bills, jobs and having to deal with the house and kids. People get 

bogged down with daily life and forget what is important to them. 

I am not going to date until I meet the right person and that person will become

an extension of myself and will compliment me as well as complete me. I know 

that there are couples out there that truly love and respect the one that they are 

with, but that is what it takes is respect for each other. There is no room in love for

fussing and fighting , because no one ever wins. Everyone has different opinions on

how things should be done, but there is also a thing called compromise. I will 

hold off on this since I need to put my career first. 

I know I am different from most women and because I don't fall for a wink of

a eye and a come on line. I would never want my man to cheat on me so I have

to respect that I do not date married men or men in relationships. I respect 

men that man up and take care of there families. I respect people that are 

always trying to perfect themselves and thrive to be all they can be, 

I know that guys think I go to the extreme in body building and feel I am 

just self centered and competitive but I want to be the best that I can be and

live to be 100, but not if I am sick. Should I get sick I would bow out gracefully 

and in the words of the Eagles " It's Your World Now" I love that song. 

I wished there was no sickness, no war, no hunger, a great economy and a job 

for everyone well enough to perform it. I wished there was no disasters 

and that everyone could live in harmony. In the words of Anne Murray 

We could use a little good news today.