Why I Never Let Go...

After the blogs I just researched and wrote I realize why I have been on a emotional roller coaster with my grief for so long. Yes, After the deaths of mama and Jason within a short period of time, I simply never dealt with it. If I dealt with their deaths I would have to admit that they were both gone and I was all alone. I would have to let go of all the hopes and dreams and plans that Jason and I had for our futures together. I would have to give up the man of my dreams, my prince charming, my best friend and my soul mate. How could I ever imagine letting him go for I would lose a part of myself.

Yes, I saw a psychiatrist which prescribed 50mg of Zoloft for me that gave me diarrhea, dry mouth and made me gain weight. I also saw a therapist for a short while as well. Anyone that knows me knows I hate to take medicine so I came off the Zoloft after a month or so since it wasn't helping me. But, I kept myself busy with work and school and did my best not to think about my losses. I was then living in a dorm with 3 other roommates and I shut myself off from them as well. I never dated and when I was attracted to a man I felt that I was cheating on Jason. I know in my spare time I would go by the liquor store and by me a 5th of Jack Daniels and would sit there and drink until I passed out. Since I was in a dorm it was as if I was never alone to grieve and I wasn't going to be the cry baby of the room. That was when I needed to grieve and couldn't.

My daddy is a biker that demands respect and I couldn't be me around him. I found myself saying I am sorry about every little thing to people and he would say you have done nothing to them so don't say "Sorry" it is a sign of weakness. Yet I feel I have so much too be sorry for sometimes. I know I took care of my mama yet although I was there taking care of her as her caregiver I felt I never did enough. May if I did this or that I would have made it easier for her. Or I forgot to tell mama this or that and I hope she knows how much I love her. Then with Jason the same things really if I was out front on my bike he would never had hit that deer. At one time so I didn't have to explain what happen to him over and over to people I said he had a brain tumor and made it a rare form of cancer so people would let it go. I lied and I hate lying but every new person I had to tell I had to relive it all over again. I thought about it enough. Still to this day I remember the last time I told Jason I loved him was at a red light. I was constantly telling mama because I knew she was dying, but I didn't get that with Jason.

I know everyone that reads this must think that I am crazy or unstable and I can just add I feel that I am sometime. Lord knows I don't always get my way, but I have bargained for years with him just to give them back to me. I even wonder sometimes still if I am even lovable? I met someone, but I am not good enough for them and they deserve much better than me. I know that with all my heart. Being alone is best for me or for now anyway.  

Coping with Grief and Loss

Understanding the Grieving Process

Losing someone or something you love or care deeply about is very painful. You may experience all kinds of difficult emotions and it may feel like the pain and sadness you're experiencing will never let up. These are normal reactions to a significant loss. But while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can renew you and permit you to move on.




What is grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief, including:

Divorce or relationship breakup
Loss of health
Losing a job
Loss of financial stability
A miscarriage
Retirement
Death of a pet
Loss of a cherished dream
A loved one’s serious illness
Loss of a friendship
Loss of safety after a trauma
Selling the family home


The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief. However, even subtle losses can lead to grief. For example, you might experience grief after moving away from home, graduating from college, changing jobs, selling your family home, or retiring from a career you loved.


Everyone grieves differently
Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in many years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.


Myths and Facts About Grief
MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.
MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.
Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn't mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.
MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren't sorry about the loss.
Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.
MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.


Are there stages of grief?
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up.


The five stages of grief:


Denial:   “This can’t be happening to me.”


Anger:   “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”


Bargaining:  “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”


Depression:  “I’m too sad to do anything.”


Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”


If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may help to know that your reaction is natural and that you’ll heal in time. However, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages—and that’s okay. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. And if you do go through these stages of grief, you probably won’t experience them in a neat, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re supposed to be in.

Kübler-Ross herself never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework that applies to everyone who mourns. In her last book before her death in 2004, she said of the five stages of grief: “They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.”

Grief can be a roller coaster:
Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss. Even years after a loss, especially at special events such as a family wedding or the birth of a child, we may still experience a strong sense of grief.


Common symptoms of grief:
While loss affects people in different ways, many experience the following symptoms when they’re grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal—including feeling like you’re going crazy, feeling like you’re in a bad dream, or questioning your religious beliefs.

Shock and disbelief – Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting him or her to show up, even though you know he or she is gone.
Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.
Guilt – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn't say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.
Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry with yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.
Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.
Physical symptoms – We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia.

Coping with grief and loss tip 1: Get support
The single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.

Finding support after a loss:
Turn to friends and family members – Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Draw loved ones close, rather than avoiding them, and accept the assistance that’s offered. Oftentimes, people want to help but don’t know how, so tell them what you need—whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or help with funeral arrangements.
Draw comfort from your faith – If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you—such as praying, meditating, or going to church—can offer solace. If you’re questioning your faith in the wake of the loss, talk to a clergy member or others in your religious community.
Join a support group – Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers.
Talk to a therapist or grief counselor – If your grief feels like too much to bear, call a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.

Coping with grief and loss tip 2: Take care of yourself:
When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.

Face your feelings. You can try to suppress your grief, but you can’t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.
Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a scrapbook or photo album celebrating the person’s life; or get involved in a cause or organization that was important to him or her.
Look after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. When you feel good physically, you’ll also feel better emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. Don’t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready.

Plan ahead for grief “triggers.” Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. If you’re sharing a holiday or lifecycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.

When grief doesn't go away:
It’s normal to feel sad, numb, or angry following a loss. But as time passes, these emotions should become less intense as you accept the loss and start to move forward. If you aren't feeling better over time, or your grief is getting worse, it may be a sign that your grief has developed into a more serious problem, such as complicated grief or major depression.

Complicated grief:
The sadness of losing someone you love never goes away completely, but it shouldn’t remain center stage. If the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps you from resuming your life, you may be suffering from a condition known as complicated grief. Complicated grief is like being stuck in an intense state of mourning. You may have trouble accepting the death long after it has occurred or be so preoccupied with the person who died that it disrupts your daily routine and undermines your other relationships.

Symptoms of complicated grief include:

Intense longing and yearning for the deceased
Intrusive thoughts or images of your loved one
Denial of the death or sense of disbelief
Imagining that your loved one is alive
Searching for the person in familiar places
Avoiding things that remind you of your loved one
Extreme anger or bitterness over the loss

Feeling that life is empty or meaningless


The difference between grief and depression:
Distinguishing between grief and clinical depression isn't always easy as they share many symptoms, but there are ways to tell the difference. Remember, grief can be a roller coaster. It involves a wide variety of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you’re in the middle of the grieving process, you will have moments of pleasure or happiness. With depression, on the other hand, the feelings of emptiness and despair are constant.

Other symptoms that suggest depression, not just grief:

Intense, pervasive sense of guilt
Thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying
Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Slow speech and body movements
Inability to function at work, home, and/or school

Seeing or hearing things that aren't the

How to Heal From Complicated Grief

Grief is a natural process of loss, beginning when you realize that someone you love has left and ending with

your acceptance of the loss. Grief becomes complicated when feelings of hopelessness and questions about the conditions of loss prevent you from completing the grieving process. Complicated grief occurs when you feel a sense of responsibility for the loss and when those feelings prevent you from moving on with your life.

Instructions

1. • 1
     Analyze your grief and determine if you have spent more than six months concentrating on your loss. If so, ask yourself if the time you spend concentrating on the loss of your loved one is adversely affecting your ability to move on.
   • 2
     Schedule an appointment with a professional therapist who will help you work through your complicated grief. Expect her to ask questions about your loss and how the loss has affected your life. Work proactively with your therapist and ask for methods that you can use when you begin slipping back into your grief. Review these techniques and integrate them into your daily life. Speak honestly to your therapist about the issues you face when you confront your grief.
   • 3
     Write about your feelings regularly. Use a notebook or a computer and store your writings. Make this a personal project by Writing your feelings down in your own way. Recount the events surrounding the loss and describe your feelings about each event. Use any writing technique that you are comfortable with, such as poetry, short stories, journals or internet blogs. Share your writing with your therapist, especially if you discover something new about your feelings during the process.
   • 4
     Tell your story to people you trust. Search for people who will listen without passing judgment against you. Find friends who are willing to listen and explain how the grief has affected your life. Be honest about any feelings of guilt or remorse and share your story with others.
   • 5
     Make time in your life for calm reflection. Think about other things in your life, such as your friends, Career or hobbies. Give yourself permission to move on by giving yourself time for self reflection. 

     
     

     

     
     

Letting Go 14 Days Clean and Sober

When I first started this blog ( Letting Go + Day's Clean and Sober) everyone assumed I think because they did not read the blog that I was a alcoholic or a drug addict, but thankfully I am not either. I understand addiction as a sickness and that can only dwell within us if we let it. My addiction was to Jason Taylor the love of my life and my soul mate that I lost in a motorcycle accident. I will not talk allot about Jason since I was able to go to his grave site a couple weeks ago and let go of our past. Yes, I was hopeful that I could start a future without his constant presence in my life. I must say I need to take one of the days off and make it 13 days since I fell off the wagon one day. But I did pick up where I left off the very next day.

I originally thought when I started this process that things would fall into place, but it has been hard. I had thought I could move on and start dating, but now I wonder if that will ever be? I have acted like fool and I have said things I should have never revealed to anyone.This is harder than I thought. I know I have no guarantee that this will ever work, yet I press on. But, I have to be 100% before I could even consider dating someone while my heart is still some where else. I don't know why? This is so stupid to hang on to nothingness. I know all of this is my fault since I wear my heart on my sleeve. After mama and Jason died so close together I thought I was a jinx? I realize that I may never be with anyone, and that is something I should get use to. I have made mistakes and I will never be perfect I know that. I have said it in the past, but I still don't think I did enough for mama and Jason in this lifetime and I will be punished the rest of my life.  

I wish I could say that this week was very productive, but I cannot. I am getting Jason off my mind a little more, but that is only opening door to worry about everything else in life. Please dear Lord help me I will never make it without you.

Halloween By Numbers

Famous Ghosts in American History

Some of America's most famous citizens are now reported among its most famous ghosts. Abraham Lincoln, John and Abigail Adams, Dolley Madison and Andrew Jackson are among the spririts purportedly still lingering in the White House. Other tales of ghostly apparitions from unmanned ships to haunted paintings persist through history.

Portrait of Theodosia Burr
On December 31, 1812, the beautiful and vivacious Theodosia Burr, wife of wealthy Governor Joseph Alston of South Carolina, left her husband's plantation and sailed north on the Patriot to visit her beloved father, the famous Aaron Burr, in New York City. In early January the vessel was accosted off Cape Hatteras by ships of Great Britain, then at war with the United States, but was permitted to proceed on its journey. The Patriot was never seen again nor, with any certainty, was Theodosia. An angry storm that very night swept the coast of North Carolina. Some say that during the gale pirates boarded the Patriot, removed all valuables, forced passengers and crew to walk the plank, then sank the ship. But legend persists that Theodosia survived, that she was cast ashore in a small boat onto the Outer Banks, bereft of all possessions except a portrait of herself, and that, with her sanity completely gone, she was thereafter cared for by a Banker fisherman and his wife.

The years went by. In 1869 the strange woman became ill, and a doctor from Elizabeth City was called in to attend her. He did what he could, but it was clear that she had not long to live. As he was leaving the sick room, the poor fisherman's wife told the doctor that, as she had no money, he would have to choose something from the house for his pay. When he replied that he would like to have the handsome portrait hanging on the wall, the afflicted old woman sprang from her bed. "It is mine! You shall not have it! I am on my way to visit my father in New York, and I am taking this picture of his darling Theodosia!" With that, she grabbed the canvas, rushed through the door, ran down the surf, and walked into the ocean.. The next day, the portrait washed up on the beach. It is fact, not legend, that the doctor took the picture from Nags Head to his home in Elizabeth City, that a descendent sold it an art dealer who in turn sold it to a member of the Burr family, and that it exists today.

Ghosts of the USS Constellation
Sitting proudly at rest in Baltimore Harbor, the USS Constellation emits an aura of peace of and security. Where once men died under the hail of grapeshot, children now walk. During her 175-year history, much blood has flowed over her wooden beams. So what or who, among the countless who have met death on her deck, was the ghostly apparition that was photographed in the forecastle in 1955? Lt. Cmdr. Allen Ross Brougham, USN, the man who snapped the photo, believes it is a captain returning to inspect his ship. Hans Holzer, a professional ghost hunter and author, says it could be any one of three spirits "haunting the old ship." To a Catholic priest who came face to face with the ghost, it is an old salt, unwilling to leave the beloved sea. Legends of ghosts and other strange occurrences have long been told about the United States Navy's first ship. But the first indication that they were more than the reminiscences of old sea dogs came at 8 bells on a cold December night in 1955.

Commander Brougham had his camera set. Waiting patiently, he allegedly caught the ghost forever on film. At 11:59:47 P.M., to be exact, the Navy officer "detected a faint scent in the air-a certain something not unlike gunpowder." Then before him, he said, appeared a "phosphorescently glowing, translucent ectoplasmic manifestation of a late Eighteenth Century or early Nineteenth Century sailor, complete with gold stripe trouser, cocked hat and sword." He barely had time to snap the shutter before the eerie figure vanished, he said. A few years later, repairmen heard strange moans and cries coming from below the decks, but every time they went to investigate they found nothing.

In Hans Holzer's book, Portal to the Past, reference is made to the experience of a Catholic priest who visited the Constellation in 1964. When the priest arrived, there was no member of the Maryland Naval Militia to take him aboard for a tour. So he went below by himself. While wandering beneath the deck, he said, he was startled by an old sailor who volunteered much information about history of the ship and the proper names for the equipment. After thanking his guide, the priest went above deck where he met several of the regular tour guides. He congratulated them for having such a knowledgeable man as the one who led him around. The real guides were horrified. "We have no one below," they protested. In haste, the guides and the priest rushed down the narrow stairway, but the old guide had vanished into the air.

Sybil Leek, the famous English witch, once paid a visit to the stately ship. She claimed she picked up vibrations from three spirits; a captain, a sailor and an apprentice seaman, who had all died violently. Which one of these denizens of the spirit world was the one photographed, if any, is unknown.

Sarah Soule
Ghost ships, in the mythology of the sea, are almost as plentiful as barnacles on a rock. One of the most celebrated is the phantom schooner of Harpswell which was seen by many people, usually in the late afternoon, fully rigged and under sail; a breathtaking sight, though apt to vanish without warning in a shimmer of light or a sudden rising of fog. This vision has been immortalized in the poem The Dead Ship of Harpswell, by John Greenleaf Whittier, whose opening lines are as follows: What flecks the outer gray beyond The sundown's golden trail? The white flash of a sea-bird's wing, Or gleam of slanting sail?

The period around 1812 was a splendid time for industrious young men to make a legitimate fortune on the high seas. A couple of boys barely into their twenties could prosper trading cod and lumber for the rum, molasses and coffee of the Indies, which was precisely the career George Leverett and Charles Jose envisioned when they set out from Portland, Maine. Their destination was the Soule Boatyard in South Freeport and their mission was to arrange for the building of their own new vessel. However, shortly after arriving in South Freeport they met the lovely Sarah Soule, fell violently in love with her, and out of sorts with each other. Perhaps because of his Portuguese blood, Jose pursued her more hotly, though in the end it was George Leverett she preferred. After a bitter argument, during which Charles tried to hurl George into the Royal River, the friendship between the two men ended. Charles disappeared and George proceeded with construction of the ship. When she was finished, he appropriately named her Sarah and prepared for his wedding to Sarah Soule.

Ill fortune arose on every side. At first there were strange obstacles in the wedding preparations. Then Captain Leverett found it oddly difficult to line up a crew. Still, he was a determined young man and, at last, with his bride in his house and a crew on his ship, Leverett sailed into Portland harbor to take on cargo for the West Indies. At the same time, there arrived a curious black craft which flew no flag and was outfitted with cannon. The ship was the Don Pedro Salazar and her captain was none other than Leverett's former partner and romantic rival, Charles Jose.

Much like a storm cloud on the horizon, the Don Pedro trailed the Sarah south. As the voyage progressed the Sarah's crew grew more and more uneasy and petitioned Captain Leverett to head for Nassau to report the menacing pursuer to the British Admiralty. He never reached the harbor. As soon as the Don Pedro saw what course Leverett was taking, she opened fire, killing all but Leverett and severely damaging, though through some miracle, not sinking the unarmed Sarah. Still blinded by jealousy and seeking murderous revenge, Jose could have tortured the survivor in a variety of traditional methods. However, Jose, after looting the ship, chose only to tie Leverett to the foot of the Sarah's mainmast and head him out to sea. It was then that Leverett experienced an extraordinary phenomenon. Helpless as he was and facing certain death and destruction on an unmanned and shattered vessel, he still was possessed by a strange notion that the ship was under control. Indeed the dead crew began to rise up and take their posts one by one. Sails were set and the ship's course was turned toward home. Captain Leverett, at this point, understandably lost consciousness.

On a bleak November day people on Potts' Point saw a fully rigged yet tragic wreck sailing with uncanny accuracy along the unmarked channel. Suddenly the ship came to a full stop without benefit of an anchor. A pale and silent crew lowered an apparently unconscious man into a boat, rowed him ashore and laid him on a rock, his log book beside him. Without even the squeak of an oar-lock, the ghostly sailors returned to the ship just as a heavy fog suddenly blanketed the harbor. When it had lifted the ship was gone. The unconscious man was soon recognized as George Leverett and it is said that he recovered at least enough to relate this tale, though he surely never went out to sea again.

The last sighting of the Sarah was in the 1880s on a crystaline summer afternoon. A guest seated on the piazza of Harpswell House looked seaward toward the horizon in time to see a wondrous vision. A great schooner, under full sail, her canvas gilded in the sun, was heading slowly for the harbor. He summoned a friend, but when they looked again the ship had vanished. Believers say that the magnificent wreck and her ghostly crew, weary from wandering, had reached home port for the last time.

Dolley Madison
Dorothy "Dolley" Madison was the wife of James Madison, the fourth president of the United States. She is known as the woman who turned the new nation's capital at Washington, D. C. from a dull swamp into a high-society social scene. Dolley served as the official White House hostess while her husband served as Secretary of State. Dorothea Paine "Dolley" Madison was one of the most popular first ladies to have presided in the White House. She was born in 1768 and became the wife and the young widow of John Todd, a Quaker lawyer of Philadelphia. 1794, at the age of twenty-six, she married James Madison, who became, in 1809, fourth president of the United States.

Dolley's wit and charm and her ability to remember faces endeared her to everyone. But she never liked to be crossed, as the legend of her ghost bears out. When the second Mrs. Woodrow Wilson occupied the White House, she ordered gardeners to dig up the familiar Rose Garden. They never turned a spade. Dolley Madison had planned and built the garden! Her ghost arrived in all her nineteenth century to upbraid the workmen for what they were about to do. The men fled. Not a flower was disturbed and Dolley's garden continues to bloom today as it has for nearly two centuries.

Andrew "Old Hickory" Jackson
The Rose Room is believed to be one of the most haunted spots in the White House. It contains Andrew Jackson's bed, and if we are to believe testimony of those who have felt his presence, "Old Hickory" himself still dwells in his former bed chamber. And well he might. In 1824 Jackson ran for president against John Quincy Adams and two other candidates, garnering the most popular and electoral votes, but not a clear majority; the election was decided by the House of Representatives, which chose Adams. In 1828 Jackson finally won the presidency, but he never forgot nor forgave his enemies. Bitterly resentful over his earlier defeat, he removed two thousand former office-holders, replacing them with his own appointments.

Twenty years after Jackson's death, Mary Todd Lincoln, a devout believer in the spirit world, told friends that she'd heard him stomping through the White House corridors and swearing. Still settling old scores?

John and Abigail Adams
President John Adams and his wife, Abigail, were the first occupants of the White House. During Adams' presidency (1797-1801), the capital moved from Philadelphia to Washington, a struggling hamlet built mostly in a swamp. Pennsylvania Avenue was unpaved, and frequent rains turned it into a quagmire. Although the White House itself was only half finished, Mrs. Adams cheerfully tolerated the noise and confusion of workmen coming and going. She was as fond of pomp and ceremony as Martha Washington had been, and, in spite of the inconveniences, held memorable receptions and dinner parties. Indeed, her invitations were highly coveted. But one immediate problem presented itself-where to hang the family wash. The White House was inadequately heated, and a number of rooms were cold and damp. Mrs. Adams finally decided that the East Room was the warmest and driest place in her august home, and that's where the clothesline was strung. The first lady has never forgotten. The ghost of Abigail Adams is seen hurrying toward the East Room, with arms out stretched at if carrying a load of laundry. She can be recognized by the cap and lace shawl she favored in life.

Although Abigail Adams is the "oldest" ghost ever to have been encountered at the White House, she is by no means the only former occupant to occasionally wander its halls and great rooms. The home of the American chief executive has been the site of so much intense life it seems only appropriate that from within its walls come stories and legends of presidents and first ladies who linger...after life.

My Favorite Time Of The Year BOOO!

Breaking: Jesse Ventura, Howard Stern Set For 2016 Presidential Run

Libertarian duo would shake foundation of White House contest

Former Governor Jesse Ventura and radio personality Howard Stern are set Wednesday on Stern’s radio show to discuss the serious possibility of a 2016 presidential run.

Image: Howard Stern & Jesse Ventura.
Talking on and off air to Alex Jones, Ventura made it clear this is very serious and not a stunt, and that the two are in real talks for a 2016 Ventura-Stern ticket.
Ventura will fly to New York this Wednesday to appear on Stern’s Sirius XM show, during which Ventura will formally request that Stern join him on the ticket.
Ventura told the Alex Jones Show that he is deadly serious about running for the White House with Stern as his VP. Due to Ventura’s refusal to entertain the notion of taking money from special interests, Stern, whose radio show brings in around $100 million a year, will be in charge of fundraising.
Although Ventura had to quit his radio show when he ran for Governor of Minnesota in order to comply with FCC regulations, Stern will not have to quit his current show because satellite radio is not subject to the same rules as terrestrial radio.
However, Stern has indicated he will probably quit his current show in 2015 anyway, leaving the path clear for a presidential campaign to begin the same year.
Off air, Ventura told Jones that Stern is one of the smartest people he knows and that his libertarian mindset make the two a perfect combination. It is likely that Ventura and Stern will attempt to secure the Libertarian Party nomination, which in 2012 was won by former New Mexico governor Gary Johnson.
Stern previously ran for Governor of New York as a libertarian candidate in 1994, promising to fix the roads and repeal the death penalty.
Ventura is about to commence a book tour but confirmed that he would run for president, with Stern as his VP, exclusively with the Alex Jones Show.
“If this does happen, strap yourselves in,” says Alex. “This will be the biggest political shakeup since Ross Perot ran for president in 1992.”