When Reality Comes Full Force & Slaps Your Face

Have you ever thought you knew how your life would turn out and it turned out the total opposite

than how you imagined? Things you thought true was anything but? Yet, you are forced to go on 

with life the way it seems and how it is dictated to you?  When people we think care for us find 

it there main goal in life to mess up yours. 

I will not sit here and act as if I am incompetent and nothing was at all my fault, but I put trust in

people I thought loved and cared about me. I was very sick some years back and trusted my friends

and family with details and passwords for the sole purpose of keeping up with friends and being a 

firm believer in prayer I would ask for prayer. I was so afraid, but to all who know me I would

never show fear. I always said, Everything is going to be fine, but underneath I was afraid, alone and

without the one person I asked for.

 Looking back now I realize I made it and there was nothing to fear, yet I felt deserted. 

Looking back now I am saddened at what might had been. But, through my determination to show 

this person I would survive with or without him in my life I made a full recovery. 

I just feel better knowing the truth and once again completely trusting in someone I thought

I never would again. I have always known this to be a good and true person yet let down 

by the fact that I then thought them to be very shallow. 

I began to believe as long as we are perfect we have nothing to worry about, but let us need

help or care and we are someone else's problem. 

I have picked up the pieces and moved on in life, but nothing ever comes easy for me

and I am constantly plagued what if's? My short relationships are to my fault as always

having to be the dumper rather than the dumpie. 

I know this knowledge changes nothing but does give me the peace of mind that things

were not as they seemed and the person was willing to help me at that time. Yet, life

has a way of moving on with ya or without ya. I am so happy for this person and

so happy that they never meant to hurt me. 

Beautiful Days

I am blessed to be here and have this time to reflect on my future. The days are

bright sunny and this is as close as I have been to paradise. Saint Pete Beach 

is pronominal with a beautiful clear blue ocean, and the bluest skies I ever saw.

I wake up each morning waiting for the sun to rise while drinking coffee and I start

to write my blog for the day. I find that writing has given me a outlet to put things out 

there I normally wouldn't say  to anyone. I think a lot about the past, but I cannot 

dwell there but must live in the present. I have so much to be thankful for in life 

a career that I love and a great family outlet to lean on, two wonderful Godmothers

and many friends and colleagues I adore. 

I see life as beautiful no matter what clouds may appear I must find my sunshine 

and rainbows to carry on with my beautiful life. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

and I can find mine in a sunrise, sunset, flower, butterfly, hummingbird,the sun upon

my face, the wind in my hair, a baby's cry, a child's giggle, the roar of Harley, skydiving,

 snorkeling, sitting on a beach with my feet in the water and sand in my bottom or driving my 

bike on a mountain road. I know it seems as though I do a lot, yet I am only living life and

living it to it's fullest. I don't want to grow-up I like being a big kid. A kid that makes fishy faces 

and watches Disney movies and children love me. 

I love life and I have an amazing one, but only due to my and God's making. He can

mold me into what  I need to be cause he's still working on me....

Amazed

I am truly amazed that without speaking a word a friend can know exactly what I am thinking 

from a 1000 miles away. Most men do not get what a woman thinks or feels standing in the same 

room with her and her shaking her finger in his face. I am simply blown away at how a subtle hint

coming out of left field could find it's way to the right person and there be a complete understanding 

on there part. I know nothing will ever come of it because it was never meant to be, but this does give 

me hope that someone that cares is truly listening to my plea, and that someone truly understands me.

  

                                                    

                                  

Tragedy Strikes 2ND Amendment Rights In Cross Hairs

                                                                               

When I first learned of the shooting in Aurora  Colorado, I was appalled that yet another tragic

event by a mad man was to be remembered in American history. I first prayed for the families of

the deceased, their families and for the recovery of the wounded. Yet, right away I remembered 

election year + fatal shootings = 2nd Amendment rights coming under fire.

As I always say guns don't kill people, people kill people. As long as there is a sick demented 

mind there will be chaos and destruction with or without a gun.  

  

James Holmes, 24, is seen in this undated handout picture released by The University of Colorado on July 20, 2012.

On Friday at 12:30 am, at the midnight premiere of the newest Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, at a Century 16 movie theater in Aurora, a shooter set off a smoke bomb and opened fire, wounding 50 people and killing 12. It wasn’t twelve hours before the issue of gun control was raised; even the shooter’s suspected identity, 24-year old California native and University of Colorado PhD student James Holmes, had not been released at the time.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg called on November’s presidential candidates to detail their stances on gun control, operating off the assumption that guns were the problem, and the reason for the shooting. “And this is a real problem. No matter where you stand on the Second Amendment, no matter where you stand on guns, we have a right to hear from both of them concretely, not just in generalities - specifically what are they going to do about guns?”

Others pointed to the fact that the shooter owned an assault rifle as one of the four guns he owned, raising questions of what type of weapons should be legal for a person to possess. They question whether it serves any positive purpose to keep such weapons legal.

The neglected fact when addressing gun control issues in the wake of a tragedy, however, is that there are two ways to achieve the equality of power which could have prevented such a tragedy. The discussed solution is to remove all potentially dangerous power in the form of gun (and later, in some places, knife) control. The UK, for instance, has had severe gun control laws in place since a 1996 school shooting in Scotland prompted the legislation’s passing. This did not, however, stop a shooter in 2010 from killing twelve people before taking his own life, a rampage which neither civilians nor police were able to stop.

The other option, however, is for everyone to have more power to protect themselves, through encouraging rather than discouraging people who would use guns as positive tools from obtaining them. When one person with harmful intentions has a gun, it becomes a tragedy, but, as a 2007 Colorado church shooting  showed, when another armed person is prepared to stop them, such situations can be averted or severely lessened. The reverse of this situation is the 2010 Ft. Hood shooting, in which 13 highly trained military personnel were gunned down in a situation in which their being armed was forbidden.

Guns make the news when they are the tool of a tragedy, but not when they avoid it, because an avoided tragedy is rarely news. Even discounting immediate and ridiculous finger pointing, the politicization of tragedies such as the Aurora theater massacre does not lead to as nuanced an understanding of issues as is needed to form an informed opinion on them.

10 Reasons Why I Love Being A Pediatrician

I am lucky. I realize this. I get to do a job I love each and every day. And because I am often asked why I became a pediatrician, I thought I’d share my top 10 reasons as to why I feel very fortunate to do what I do. So in no particular order...                                                 

1. I am able to follow a child from birth to adulthood. Being able to follow the growth and development of my patients from baby years to adulthood is probably my greatest joy. Watching them grow from these tiny little entities where eating, sleeping and pooping (and peeing) are all that matters until young adulthood where their goals may include making the world a better place to live in is such a rewarding thing for me to witness.

2. I get to have amazing conversations. This includes cooing contests with 2 month-olds to discussing favorite rides at Disneyland with 6 year-olds to having in depth conversations about the life and the curve balls thrown our way with high school students are things I get to do on a daily basis. And I enjoy each and every one of them the same.

3. I work with great people. Typically, anyone who likes to work with children has a great attitude and outlook on life because one realizes it’s about the children. My office... no exception.

4. I become part of the family. Over time I really feel like I become part of the patient’s extended family. This often gives my well-child-care visits a sense of catching up on life, just like we do with relatives and friends who live many miles away.

5. I watch the parents mature. Not only is it the patients who develop and mature, but the parents do as well. I thoroughly enjoy witnessing first time moms and dads so tentative and unsure develop into such confident and experienced parents.  

6. I get to meet so many interesting people. Sure, I enjoy conversations with people of similar interests to me, but I’m also fascinated by those who chose a completely different path in life. It’s a reminder each and everyone one of us is unique.

7. I have an impact on the lives of so many. Yes, I try to impress upon my patients the significance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle but I also try to slip in the importance of living by the code of “doing the right thing” as well. Not an easy thing to do with someone my age but with a 10-year-old, you still have a chance of leaving that type of an impression.

8. I get to do other things as well. Being a pediatrician has allowed me to use another part of my brain as well... including writing and blogging for DailyStrength over the past few years.

9. I get to teach. Practicing medicine in a large urban area with many training programs allows me the opportunity to teach what I’ve learned and pass it on to those just beginning or exploring the field of medicine.

10. I remain useful in my own household. Obviously, I’m being a bit sarcastic here but until my last child heads off for college, I do feel relevant for the next 14 years. Although, I’m sure my kids at this point may think differently.

Anyway, there you have it. Maybe not glorious stuff, but certainly all of which satisfy my heart and soul. 

                                                                           

Life Is Good

                                                                                        

 Life Is Good

                                         

Nothing in life comes with a guarantee or a promise of commitment. Life is just life and we never know 

what to expect from one day to the next. The only sure things in life is that we shall pay taxes and die 

this is certain. I myself get my feelings hurt and throw my little pity party for a day or two and then I am 

over it and ready to move on with this extraordinary wonderful life that God has given me. Everyone

should be aware of how precious this thing we call life truly is. 

We should truly savor each day and make it last as long as possible. We should really open our eyes

and watch every sunrise and sunset. Show the people that we love exactly how we feel about them 

and tell them daily. Have you ever lost someone close to you? If you have you must realize all

the "Why didn't I do this?"  "Why didn't I visit more?" "I wonder if they really knew how much I loved 

them?" Then the why me? Why my mother? Did I do something? Am I being punished.? This is all

guilt a form of grief. 

I did these things therefore I would love to save someone the heartache of having to live through 

this yourself. God is not mad at you, he loves you. You are not a jinx and no one else will die if

you decide to be with them. (Boy do I regret this one) Later in life we regret things that we did 

in our grieving state. But, then you realize that life is just as it is suppose to be after all. The 

people we least expect can touch our life in a profound way. Just having someone to talk 

to that we are comfortable with can be essential to getting past any situation that arises in

life.

I once had someone that I could tell everything to and even share my most intimate secrets,

now that person is not there anymore. As the cycle of life revolves so do people and how they

relate to us. Simply put life happens and people outgrow us. 

Life is good. We can make it good, but it is solely left up to us to direct or redirect our destiny

Today I will take the time to smell the roses, to tell the people in my life how I feel about  them. 

Today I will live.

Today I will Choose to Love even though my lost in life is great.       

          

   

Life's A Beach

Life's A Beach

I awake and wipe the sleep from my eyes, and thank God for a brand new morning. The sound of the coffee maker, the smell of it's aromatic aroma has waken me.  From the shadows that appear to me I can tell I have little time to set up for my day. I go into the bathroom wash my face, slip on my shorts and top and pour myself coffee before walking out onto the balcony. I love to sit on this balcony each morning while having coffee and watch the sun rise with all of it's majestic glory. For here I am very much aware that God is sitting on his throne made of gold looking down upon me. I feel so very close to him as if St. Pete Beach is his heaven upon this earth.

As I sit here I wonder if he finds goodness in me? I realize that he knows the number of hairs upon my head and has known me before I was a twinkle in daddy's eye. I want so much to please God yet I know so many times I fall from grace. All in all I know he knows my heart and he has a plan for me that far exceeds anything I can dream of myself. 

No matter how I feel about the things that Blake and I have been through I know we shall remain friends. It shall be out of the norm for a while to live apart, yet we did not live together that long. I have known him for so long now yet our relationship has been on and off again since last June. Things will be good for us once we find our soul mates and can move into long lasting, loving relationships.

All in all no matter if I get the blues because a relationship has not worked out I can still remain friends with that person. Time I find does not heal broken hearts, but maybe I myself can do better the next time I love. I blame myself because of a past love that will remain with me until my dying breath. Although, I am a kind, compassionate and caring I am not easy to love. I have walls in place that are hard to break through even for the strongest of men. I avoid dating if all possible since I hate putting myself out there knowing eventually I will get hurt.