10 Reasons Why I Love Being A Pediatrician

I am lucky. I realize this. I get to do a job I love each and every day. And because I am often asked why I became a pediatrician, I thought I’d share my top 10 reasons as to why I feel very fortunate to do what I do. So in no particular order...                                                 

1. I am able to follow a child from birth to adulthood. Being able to follow the growth and development of my patients from baby years to adulthood is probably my greatest joy. Watching them grow from these tiny little entities where eating, sleeping and pooping (and peeing) are all that matters until young adulthood where their goals may include making the world a better place to live in is such a rewarding thing for me to witness.

2. I get to have amazing conversations. This includes cooing contests with 2 month-olds to discussing favorite rides at Disneyland with 6 year-olds to having in depth conversations about the life and the curve balls thrown our way with high school students are things I get to do on a daily basis. And I enjoy each and every one of them the same.

3. I work with great people. Typically, anyone who likes to work with children has a great attitude and outlook on life because one realizes it’s about the children. My office... no exception.

4. I become part of the family. Over time I really feel like I become part of the patient’s extended family. This often gives my well-child-care visits a sense of catching up on life, just like we do with relatives and friends who live many miles away.

5. I watch the parents mature. Not only is it the patients who develop and mature, but the parents do as well. I thoroughly enjoy witnessing first time moms and dads so tentative and unsure develop into such confident and experienced parents.  

6. I get to meet so many interesting people. Sure, I enjoy conversations with people of similar interests to me, but I’m also fascinated by those who chose a completely different path in life. It’s a reminder each and everyone one of us is unique.

7. I have an impact on the lives of so many. Yes, I try to impress upon my patients the significance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle but I also try to slip in the importance of living by the code of “doing the right thing” as well. Not an easy thing to do with someone my age but with a 10-year-old, you still have a chance of leaving that type of an impression.

8. I get to do other things as well. Being a pediatrician has allowed me to use another part of my brain as well... including writing and blogging for DailyStrength over the past few years.

9. I get to teach. Practicing medicine in a large urban area with many training programs allows me the opportunity to teach what I’ve learned and pass it on to those just beginning or exploring the field of medicine.

10. I remain useful in my own household. Obviously, I’m being a bit sarcastic here but until my last child heads off for college, I do feel relevant for the next 14 years. Although, I’m sure my kids at this point may think differently.

Anyway, there you have it. Maybe not glorious stuff, but certainly all of which satisfy my heart and soul. 

                                                                           

Life Is Good

                                                                                        

 Life Is Good

                                         

Nothing in life comes with a guarantee or a promise of commitment. Life is just life and we never know 

what to expect from one day to the next. The only sure things in life is that we shall pay taxes and die 

this is certain. I myself get my feelings hurt and throw my little pity party for a day or two and then I am 

over it and ready to move on with this extraordinary wonderful life that God has given me. Everyone

should be aware of how precious this thing we call life truly is. 

We should truly savor each day and make it last as long as possible. We should really open our eyes

and watch every sunrise and sunset. Show the people that we love exactly how we feel about them 

and tell them daily. Have you ever lost someone close to you? If you have you must realize all

the "Why didn't I do this?"  "Why didn't I visit more?" "I wonder if they really knew how much I loved 

them?" Then the why me? Why my mother? Did I do something? Am I being punished.? This is all

guilt a form of grief. 

I did these things therefore I would love to save someone the heartache of having to live through 

this yourself. God is not mad at you, he loves you. You are not a jinx and no one else will die if

you decide to be with them. (Boy do I regret this one) Later in life we regret things that we did 

in our grieving state. But, then you realize that life is just as it is suppose to be after all. The 

people we least expect can touch our life in a profound way. Just having someone to talk 

to that we are comfortable with can be essential to getting past any situation that arises in

life.

I once had someone that I could tell everything to and even share my most intimate secrets,

now that person is not there anymore. As the cycle of life revolves so do people and how they

relate to us. Simply put life happens and people outgrow us. 

Life is good. We can make it good, but it is solely left up to us to direct or redirect our destiny

Today I will take the time to smell the roses, to tell the people in my life how I feel about  them. 

Today I will live.

Today I will Choose to Love even though my lost in life is great.       

          

   

Life's A Beach

Life's A Beach

I awake and wipe the sleep from my eyes, and thank God for a brand new morning. The sound of the coffee maker, the smell of it's aromatic aroma has waken me.  From the shadows that appear to me I can tell I have little time to set up for my day. I go into the bathroom wash my face, slip on my shorts and top and pour myself coffee before walking out onto the balcony. I love to sit on this balcony each morning while having coffee and watch the sun rise with all of it's majestic glory. For here I am very much aware that God is sitting on his throne made of gold looking down upon me. I feel so very close to him as if St. Pete Beach is his heaven upon this earth.

As I sit here I wonder if he finds goodness in me? I realize that he knows the number of hairs upon my head and has known me before I was a twinkle in daddy's eye. I want so much to please God yet I know so many times I fall from grace. All in all I know he knows my heart and he has a plan for me that far exceeds anything I can dream of myself. 

No matter how I feel about the things that Blake and I have been through I know we shall remain friends. It shall be out of the norm for a while to live apart, yet we did not live together that long. I have known him for so long now yet our relationship has been on and off again since last June. Things will be good for us once we find our soul mates and can move into long lasting, loving relationships.

All in all no matter if I get the blues because a relationship has not worked out I can still remain friends with that person. Time I find does not heal broken hearts, but maybe I myself can do better the next time I love. I blame myself because of a past love that will remain with me until my dying breath. Although, I am a kind, compassionate and caring I am not easy to love. I have walls in place that are hard to break through even for the strongest of men. I avoid dating if all possible since I hate putting myself out there knowing eventually I will get hurt.  

While Living On The Road

While Living On The Road 

                                                                                  

When I first started out on my journey alone I was at the end of the road, or so I felt once again. I had been there before several times in the past yet managed to find my way back into the light. When I left Maryland I had just returned home from Delaware and the nascar race at Dover.  I was happy as I left the track and was returning home after a long weekend in the sun. I had just weeks earlier had a miscarriage  I was only 9 weeks pregnant, but for the daddy I might as well had been 9 months and didn't care. I could grieve for a man for years but not a 9 week fetus that was my own flesh and blood. Don't get me wrong I am not a heartless bitch, but I was on the pill at the time I was pregnant and did not learn of the pregnancy until I began to hemorrhage. I felt very sorry that I lost the baby once I saw how upset my boyfriend was over our loss. Since I finished my residency I have wanted to enjoy myself, and live life to the fullest before I return to work. I so much needed this time off to clear my head and rest and relieve stress before returning to the job I love. Although, I had started getting into shape and body building my boyfriend blamed me and my work out for our loss. It seems that the people who claim to love us hurt us the most in life. They have the control that we give them and no more. The  καρδιά, kardia  (heart) is very complex as it does not control emotions or love  or the way we love.   

                                                                                                     

"Emotions are not connected to your heart. It is connected to the hypothalamus which is part of your brain. The heart is just a romantic man made symbol. Honestly, it just filters and pumps blood.The heart quickens because of a psychosomatic reaction. Visual cues interpreted by the brain releases chemicals/hormones that trigger physical reactions. Same thing pupils dilate when we see something attractive. So every emotion triggers and controls the release of chemicals and hormones. These are all controlled and stimulated by the brain.Even infatuation has a scientific explanation. It's all hormonal, oxytocin. It triggers responses akin to love, like the consuming desire to know and be with the object of affection. It's not love because we all know love is an action, not just an emotion. Scientists say chemicals behind infatuation only last a year at the most. After which we are all on our own to make the relationship work without the influence of love hormones"

                                                    

Well once again I felt confused by what my boyfriend called love, and I felt all alone once again for yet a second time. It felt as though when he said those words to me about losing the baby that he had stabbed me through the heart with a 10 A blade scalpel. It hurt so bad I felt deathly sick and as we drove I sat there in silence as my tears fell and dried to my face. When we where back in Maryland and had started down the road we live on I put my hand on the door handle and though is was not far it felt like it was taking hours to get there. I did not unpack one item from his car, but ran to the bedroom and started packing. I simply started throwing a few items into a suitcase, grabbed my purse, toiletries and my makeup and I was off. We had put the dogs in a kennel for the weekend and it was closed this late on a Sunday night so I left without my dogs. 

                                                                                      

I set out aimlessly into the night with a heart that felt broken and my head plagued with a whirlwind of emotions. I had no clue of which way I was headed although I found myself headed South. At one point I pulled over at a rest area in W.Va with the doors locked and that is when I realized I didn't know where I was headed. I wasn't ready to return to Ga with my tail tucked between my legs having to explain why I was there and what had happened. I finally started driving again and then after hours behind the wheel pulled into a hotel as the sun was coming up.  

                                                                                                    

lol Kid Arrested at a Atlanta Waffle House ;)

                                                                                                     

I checked into a hotel I was a little too early for the breakfast buffet so took my belongs into a room and went to a Waffle House I had saw on the sign for that exit. I needed sleep, but I wanted coffee so badly. It took me 10 minutes to decide on regular or decalf, but I decided I needed just a little Caffeine to do anything further even order my food. Once I had had a couple sips of my coffee I was able to place my order of scrambled eggs and wheat toast. As I sat there just listening to the waitresses talk I realized one of the three women had been divorced for years and had raised her children on her own and the other two had baby daddies and all the problems that went with title of baby mamas. I say this because that is the way the girls both in their late teens early twenties both white described themselves and there boyfriends.  I felt a little bit better about my life and headed to my room to sleep. 

                                                                                        

I slept really well and then got up around noon and was trying to make heads or tails of where to go next, but then I thought of what set me out on this journey and I became sad again. I didn't feel like driving again so I drank my water and ate the apple I had chose from the buffet when I entered after returning from Waffle House. I showered, watched some TV and as always fell asleep watching a movie. I woke up again at 3 am and still didn't know where to go from here. Should I return to Baltimore? Should I call my boyfriend? I decided to do neither and returned to watching TV once again. The movie was on Lifetime and this girl was returning to her hometown and was staying with her Aunt.

It hit me that I had not been to my Aunt and Uncles in Kentucky in quite a while and I wanted to go see them. They have a farm in and so I felt right at home with chores to do. We put up 6 cases of preserves and jellies, and the food tasted better there for some reason. We went bowling and my cousin   I stayed there a week and then decided I wanted to go to Nashville Tennessee.                                                                            

                                                                                                               

                                                                                           

                                                                                                        

                                                                                              

I enjoyed my trip to Tennessee although my boyfriend found me as if stalking me. I needed time to think and him there in the hotel gave me no time what so ever. I had tickets to the Opry and he didn't. I gave him a giant subtle hint before I left for the show "Please Be Gone When I get back".  I had planned a lot of things while in Nashville such as sight seeing and bars with open mike and Karaoke. I wanted to do  so much, but after I returned to the hotel after the show I thought it best if I fell off the grid for a little while before going home for the 4Th to be with my family.  By the time I was ready to go home I had made my choice to leave my boyfriend. Yet, he was coming in for the 4TH and I need to act as if I had not made my decision until I was back in Baltimore and could plan to move out. 

                                                                                                              

The thing was I did the best I could to make things turn out well back home in Stone Mountain Ga, it was our annual pickin & Grinin days on the farm. But, my boyfriend sensed that something wasn't right and kept calling me on it every chance he got. I had some girlfriends over and was hanging out with them and we even had girls night out. That night after we got back to my house my boyfriend woke me up asking me questions, but I had a combo of sleepiness and too much tequila. He is trying to wake me but I just want him to go away so I could sleep. My phone kept ringing and a friend answered it and it was my boyfriend he had my car keys and wallet and was leaving to head back to Baltimore right then. That woke me up and then he said he was going to kill my dogs and to come to meet him at the nearest store like 3 miles up the road. I ask my friend to take me to the store but in all honesty neither of us should be driving. The store was closed and it was dark but I saw him get out of the car stagger towards me and then asks "What you doing Amber" I said, it. I said it out loud for all the world to hear I am leaving your ass that is what I am doing and as soon as I get back to Baltimore I am getting my own place. He grabbed me by my hair and started slinging me around by the hand full he had in his hand. Then he gave me a uppercut and hits me in the eye and his ring cut my lip. I managed to break away and get in a couple of punches myself and kicked him hand in the balls. I went to his car and my stuff was lying in the front passenger seat and I grabbed them and ran. He sounded like he was upset crying and begged me to come there but I wouldn't. 

                                                                                      

I raced back to Baltimore as fast as I could, but he was already in the house and wouldn't let me in to get anything. He said, if I wanted to talk we could go eat and clear the air, but he hit me and pulled my hair fighting like a girl. I had to get a judge to grant me a order to get my stuff out in a hour, so thank God most of it was in storage already. I have been staying with a girlfriend in Baltimore while looking for places to rent and I found a 3 bedroom 2 and a half bath townhouse available the first week in August. I am going through with things although I am in St Pete Beach Fl with my ex-boyfriend as I write this. We already had this trip planned as our vacation together so here I am looking like a fool again. I really don't care what people think of me and this situation, because I am getting so much negative feedback already. 

                                                                                                              

The first thing every morning rain or shine, no matter how I feel mentally or physically I first thank God for each new day and pray for the will to smile because someone must surely have it worse than me I tell myself. Since I lost my soul mate that it seems as though I will spend the rest of my life without ever truly being in love ever again. I once thought I was in love with someone I met online yet he moved on with life without me in it. But, that is all water under the bridge now and I am happy for him. I will be content being single and focusing on my family and career.